Life's Fortunes

[trefilov]

                                                    [table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"]                      [tbody][tr class="spacer"]                         [td]
[/td]                      [/tr]                   [/tbody][/table]                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   [table class="blog" id="BlogTable" cellpadding="10" cellspacing="0"][tbody][tr id="blog-1"]                               [td width="100%"]                                                                       [p class="blogTimeStamp"]                                                                                   02/13/2007                                                                                                                           [/p]                                                                    [table class="blog" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"]                                     [tbody][tr]                                                                                   [td width="30"][img]vny!://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" alt="" border="0" height="1" width="30"][/td]                                                                                [td]
[/td]                                     [/tr]                                  [/tbody][/table]                                [/td]                            [/tr]                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   [tr id="blog-2"]                               [td width="100%"]                                                                    [table class="blog" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"]                                     [tbody][tr]                                                                                   [td width="30"][img]vny!://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" alt="" border="0" height="1" width="30"][/td]                                                                                [td]                                           [p class="blogSubject"]                                           Date                                                                                                                                 [/p]                                                                                                                              [p class="blogContent"]   Well the highlight of today has to be my Date. I mean, I didn't even expect to be going out on one, but the girl I had been in correspondance with, well we started MSN'g & next thing you know, we're meeting for coffee on Robson. Thank god for the dope, because it sure helped take some of the edge off off not only the Anxietey of anticipation, but the whole date as well.
    We agreed to meet at 6 & of course, I made sure I got there nice & early & she was just a couple of minutes late Fashionably late, I believe is the correct term. First off let me tell you, she has the cutest smile & she flashed me that smile all evening.  After it was clear that we were clicking, I suggested we go for  a walk down to the waterfront & she let me take her hand. God, it felt good to hold someone's hand. To actually be connecting with someone. She is self assured, but not cocky & she made it very easy to be with her.  We had a nice romantic walk along the waterfront, amidst the backdrop of the night lights of the city. I never felt so alive!  To be out on the town, sharing the company of a woman, whom what's more I didn't have to put on any kind of an act for, she was letting me be myself & that just attracted me more to her. By the time we got to her building, we kissed goodnight. I can still taste her lips & I left feeling more alive than I have felt in a long time. Now I need to sort through some feelings.  As I am tragically inexperienced in the Dating game, for a man of my age, I dodn't quite know where to go from here. On a physical level, I want to sleep with her, but I don't know if that's just because it's been so long since I've had any & I'm desperate to bump uglies with anything with a pulse?  Or that I genuinely want to make LOVE to her. What a connundrum. On the one hand, if we were to jump into bed this early, I would have one need fulfilled, the need to get laid - but would it be at the expense of sacraficing a greater need. The neeed to be LOVED.
   Boy, for a man of 38, I sure am emotionally immature.[/p][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table]  

[GORDY GAMBINO]

Just go and root her boy and don't take no for an answer.

[Russ]

GORDY GAMBINO wrote:
 Just go and root her boy and don't take no for an answer.[/DIV]
 LOL Gordy.. while I agree it might just be easier to go root her.. umm, if you dont take 'no' for an answer might cause some little wrinkles in your plan.

[GORDY GAMBINO]

Tref will talk her into it if his posts are any indication.

Dont get too excited Tref you dont want to pre ejaculate at the thrill of it all.

[trefilov]

   [P class=MsoNormal style="lineh-eight: normal"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: ; 12pt: " Roman?,?serif?;? New Times]02/14/2007 [O:P][/O:P][/SPAN]

   [TABLE class=MsoNormalTable style="WIDTH: 100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0]   [TBODY] [TR]    [TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; WIDTH: 22.5pt; PADDING-TOP: 0in" width=30]    [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt; lineh-eight: normal"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: ; 12pt: " Roman?,?serif?;? New Times][V:SHAPETYPE id=_x0000_t75 stroked="f" filled="f" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" o:preferrelative="t" o:spt="75" coordsize="21600,21600"]    [V:STROKE joinstyle="miter"]    [V:FORMULAS]     [V:F eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"]     [V:F eqn="sum @0 1 0"]     [V:F eqn="sum 0 0 @1"]     [V:F eqn="prod @2 1 2"]     [V:F eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"]     [V:F eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"]     [V:F eqn="sum @0 0 1"]     [V:F eqn="prod @6 1 2"]     [V:F eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"]     [V:F eqn="sum @8 21600 0"]     [V:F eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"]     [V:F eqn="sum @10 21600 0"]    [/V:F]    [V:PATH o:connecttype="rect" gradientshapeok="t" o:extrusionok="f"]    [O:LOCK aspectratio="t" v:ext="edit"]   [/O:LOCK][V:SHAPE id=Picture_x0020_37 style="VISIBILITY: visible; WIDTH: 22.5pt; HEIGHT: 0.75pt" alt="vny!://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" type="#_x0000_t75" o:spid="_x0000_i1025"]    [V:IMAGEDATA o:title="spacer" src="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CBIFF%21%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_image001.gif"]   [/V:IMAGEDATA][/V:SHAPE][/V:PATH][/V:F][/V:F][/V:F][/V:F][/V:F][/V:F][/V:F][/V:F][/V:F][/V:F][/V:F][/V:FORMULAS][/V:STROKE][/V:SHAPETYPE][/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: ; 12pt: " Roman?,?serif?;? New Times][O:P][/O:P][/SPAN]

   
[/TD]    [TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; PADDING-TOP: 0in"]    [P class=MsoNormal style="lineh-eight: normal"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: ; 12pt: " Roman?,?serif?;? New Times]Rejected Again - On Valentines   Day, of course! [O:P][/O:P][/SPAN]

    [P class=MsoNormal style="lineh-eight: normal"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: ; 12pt: " Roman?,?serif?;? New Times]    Well, I can   relax about taking the next step.
   
   Witness this email I got today:
   
   [SPAN style="COLOR: rgb(204,0,0)"] Hello Alec
   >
   >I hope you had a nice night!
   >It was so nice to meet you yesterday and to spend time with you.
   >You are truly an amazing person!! You have a wicked sense of humour,
   >you are handsome, intelligent and you have good head on your
   >shoulders.
   >We had a very nice time, [/SPAN][/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: ; 13: " New Times 0);? 0, rgb(204, color: Roman?,?serif?;]but[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: ; 13: " New Times 0);? 0, rgb(204, color: Roman?,?serif?;] [/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: ; 12pt: " New Times 0);? 0, rgb(204, color: Roman?,?serif?;]I don't think there   was chemistry
   >between us.
   >But this was just one of the many dates that you will go out on, and
   >believe me, you are very good at it.
   >I know you will find that special someone and I wish you all the
   >best!
   >
   >CENSORED
   [/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: ; 12pt: " Roman?,?serif?;? New Times]
   If anybody's gonna get dumped on Valentines - it would be me!
   Actually, you'd think I'd be crushed, but when you've been rejected
   by women as much as I have, during the course of my life - well you
   kinda just get numb to it. I never expect any relationship to work out
   so, having invested no hope into it, I've really lost nothing.
   
   [O:P][/O:P][/SPAN]

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   [/TD]  [/TR][/TBODY][/TABLE]      

[Michel]

LONG LIVE MARC LEPINE!!!
  FREE ROBERT PICTON!!!!!

  Smell like DV here... smell not good...[?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O /][O:P][/O:P]

[P.C.]

You're one sick fellow Gordy.  Get help.

[GORDY GAMBINO]

I thought my post was satire. Surely you would'nt think i meant any of it   lol  

[GORDY GAMBINO]

Och aye . How come your still sober at this time in the morning you dress wearing closet queen.

PS i'm an Australian . The Gambino bit is my crime family name kipper breath.

[trefilov]

[p class="blogTimeStamp"]                                                                                   02/15/2007                                                                                                                           [/p]                                                                                                                                                                                            [table class="blog" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"][tbody][tr][td width="30"][img]vny!://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" alt="" border="0" height="1" width="30"][/td]                                                                                [td]                                           [p class="blogSubject"]
                                                                                                                                 [/p]                                                                                                                              [p class="blogContent"]     For once I awoke to my Alarm clock this morning. Just like I used to when I was working. **sniff!**
   Anyway, that was because I actually had things to do today.  The 1st thing I found out was that I had tragically overestimated my serverance pay from the company. I thought, since I had 4 weeks vacation left for the calendar year, I would get them paid out in full, as part of my severance.  Turns out, I only got something like $40.00, based on 2 days. How the f*ck does THAT work?  Bottom line is, I'm gonna be SCREWED if E.I. doesn't come through by April 1. I only got $1040.00 severence & rent is gonna cost me $720.00 for March, so I'm gonna have like ZERO play money, between then & now.  That means NO Pizza, NO KFC, NO eating out PERIOD!  f*ck, life's gonna suck this next little while.  Shit, I may have to get a job again.
    So, I spent the morning with Dee & Helena & I should have known Dee would get jealous.  He got irritable whenever Helena or I weren't paying our full & undivided attention to him. At times, he acted like a spoiled little brat.  It's funny, as people age, especially in their senior years, they seem to revert back to some childhood behaviors.  I can see what they mean, when they say some people go through a 2nd childhood. We aslo put in a visit to Muter. A nice, short pain-free 15 min. stop-by & of course, even during that limited time, she tried to get us to go out & pick up something up for her. How about just a simple: "Hello. How nice of you take the time to come & see me."? I always hate going to visit her there. The hallways always smell like pee.
    Helena was kind enough to give me a lift to Phibbs, where I caught the bus downtown & wouldn't you know it?  The transfer point for my next bus was right outside my old office. Talk about painful & still fresh memories.  Not to mention, the awjwardness of keeping a sharp lookout for any of my former co-workers, whom I might have to duck, to avoid that awkwardness.
    So, I went to see the Shrink on Dunbar & suddenly, around 3 pm, the sun came out. It was beautiful. Like a reprieve from all the gloom. I really did feel uplifted once that sun broke through.  As for my visit with the Doc. Dissapointment (Isn't that my middle name?) He's not gonna go for the Long Term Disability thing.  Most he'll give me is 6 months. Lessee...I've been fired, or let go from 5 jobs in the last 2 & a half years. If that isn't proof I can't hold a job, then what is?  Maybe I should get a job at McPukes, then pull down my pants & take a shit on the burgers, as they're frying up. If THAT wouldn't make me unemployable, it would at least make their hamburgers taste better.
    So, I'm home now, feeling like I at least got something done today. And that at least is better than nothing.[/p][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table]  

[GORDY GAMBINO]

Its July not Feb.

Hope you paid back on that bitch!!

[trefilov]

  [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]02/16/2007 [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p]  [table class="MsoNormalTable" style="width: 100%;" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"]  [tbody][tr style=""]   [td style="padding: 0in; width: 22.5pt;" width="30"]   [p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="75" o:preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"]    [v:stroke joinstyle="miter"]    [v:formulas]     [v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"]     [v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"]     [v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"]     [v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"]     [v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"]     [v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"]     [v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"]     [v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"]     [v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"]     [v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"]     [v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"]     [v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"]    [/v:f]    [v:path o:extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect"]    [o:lock v:ext="edit" aspectratio="t"]   [/o:lock][v:shape id="Picture_x0020_41" o:spid="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="vny!://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" style="width: 22.5pt; height: 0.75pt; visibility: visible;"]    [v:imagedata src="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CBIFF%21%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_image001.gif" o:title="spacer"]   [/v:imagedata][/v:shape][/v:path][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:formulas][/v:stroke][/v:shapetype][/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p]  
[/td]   [td style="padding: 0in;"]   [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]Just Another Day [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p]   [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]Paul McCart - Sorry, SIR Paul   McCartney was right. It really IS just another day. Especially when your   unemployed.  Can't say much happened today. I mean, here it is 4:30   Friday, I've just woken up from a 4-Jumbo Hotdog-induced nap. At least I   managed to do some Grocery shopping today. I'm convinced the Sun is broken.   Each time it peaks out & looks like it might just stick around, it   vanishes behind a seemingly permanant Vancouver Grey sky.
      I'm making good progress with my Autobiography. When I'm done   & if, IF I get it published, it will be the first book in history to be   written entirely by text messaging on Cell Phone.  I can just see it   now. Sitting beside Oprah, amidst her audience of Emotionally hungry masses,   when she says: "That's beautiful Alec. Just beautiful. (With her   trademark hand on leg & tearful sniffle) I understand there's something   else, quite unique about your book Alec, now isn't there.'
   (Me) "Yes, I guess there is."
   (Orca) "Tell us what that is"
   (Me)"Well, I beleive it's the first book written entirely on a cell   phone. (Audience gasps) You see I would write each passage while I was having   coffee at the Coffee shop every morning." (Audience applauds)
       Now, back to reality. If nothing else, my book is serving   as a tool for me to re-visit my past & cope with it as I recall each   situation. It's amazing when you revisit incidents you experienced as a child   & analyze them as an Adult, how therapeutic it is. It really is helping.
       So there you have it. Just another day.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p]   [/td]  [/tr] [/tbody][/table]    

[trefilov]

[span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]I simply want the good. That's it. There's nothing more to it. Is that so hard to understand?[o:p][/o:p][/span]  [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]It's been over a month now at the reduced Dopage & I clearly see my anger & irritability with people rising to the surface again. Things like people in line behind me, are bothering me again. I'm starting to second guess people's intentions again, & while I'm not in full panic mode yet, I can see that I WON'T be able to go completely off the Dope for awhile yet, if ever.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p]  [span style="font-size: 12pt; lineh-eight: 115%; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][span style=""]    [/span]And yet, I see things like Ads on TV, with apparently Christian parents, for sponsoring a child & I WANT to be that good. I don't want to be at odds with Humanity, I want to EMBRACE all the best qualities of Mankind, I want to be the BEST example of a kind, generous & loving, caring person I can be, & yet my untapped anger prevents me from doing so & it breaks my heart. I mean, I SEE & can at least RECOGNIZE good acts in people, but my anger keeps me so far removed from being a part of it, it's almost like I'm watching my life, through someone else's eyes. Do you know what it's like to feel this way?[span style=""]  [/span]Is there anyone else out there that feels like this? Help me be part of the Human community. Help me to not be a prisoner of my own weaknesses & failings. I just want to love unconditionally.[/span]  

[GORDY GAMBINO]

Can't wait for your autobiography. What you gonna call it  Supertramp?

[P.C.]

Trefilov.....there are so many people that don't even recognize that the whole world isn't about them.  You sound like you are really on the right track.....that your wants and desires are within your grasp...if for no other reason than that you know they exist.  Hang in there.