Post your jokes here. AKA Joke thread.

Started by Russ, Dec 14 06 01:24

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P.C.

#435
Oct 15 08 06:24
lol...those are GREAT 49er !  I like FedUP.  I wonder who sits around and thinks these things up.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Russ

#436
Oct 15 08 10:40
'Hello?'
 
 Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'
 
 'No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.
 
 After a brief pause, Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
 
 'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, Right now.'
 
 ...Brief pause...
 
 'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the
 table, run upstairs And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy, That
 Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway
 
 'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'
 
 A few minutes later The little girl comes back to the phone.
 
 'I did it, Daddy.
 
 'And what happened, honey?' He asked.
 
 'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed With no clothes on and ran
 around screaming.
 
 Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser And now she isn't
 moving at all!'
 
 'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'
 
 'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.
 
 He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window And into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'
 
 ...Long Pause....
 
 ............Longer Pause.......
 
 Then Daddy says,
 
  'Swimming pool? ...........
 
  Is this 486-5731?'
 
  No, I think you have the wrong number.......
Mercy to the Guilty is Torture to the Victims

Russ

#438
Oct 15 08 06:08
           [!-- / icon and title --] A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.
 
 She shouted to him, 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am".
 
 The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, you're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
 
 She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Conservative".
 
 "I am", replied the man. "How did you know"?
 
 "Well", answered the balloonist, "every thing you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me".
 
 The man smiled and responded, "You must be an NDP'er".
 
 "I am", replied the balloonist. "How did you know"?
 
 "Well", said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault".  
Mercy to the Guilty is Torture to the Victims

purelife

#440
Oct 20 08 03:18
[SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]> There is a factory inNorthern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo
> Toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
>
> Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her
> first day promptly at 8:00 AM.
>
> The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
>
> The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
>
> He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up,
> putting the entire production line behind schedule.
>
> The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men
> march down to the factory floor.
>
> When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me
> Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
>
> At the end of the line stood Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me
> Elmo's.
>
> She had a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
>
> The 2 men watched in amazement as she cut a little piece of fabric, wrapped
> it around two marbles and began to carefully sew the little package between
> Elmo's legs.
>
> The Personnel Manager burst into laughter..
>
> After several minutes of hysterics he pulled himself together and
> approached Lena.
>
> 'I'm sorry,' he said to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I
> think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...'
>
> 'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.
[/SPAN]

Michel

#441
Oct 20 08 03:21
     
 

Michel

#442
Oct 21 08 02:25
     
 

Michel

#443
Oct 23 08 11:42
 [span style="font-family: Verdana;"]    
[/span]

P.C.

#444
Oct 24 08 06:21
 [FONT size=4][FONT color=#000000][FONT face=Verdana]Sign on the back of yet another[/FONT] [/FONT][/FONT] [FONT size=4][FONT color=#000000][FONT face=Verdana]Septic Tank Truck:[/FONT] [/FONT][/FONT] [FONT size=4][FONT color=#000000][FONT face=Verdana]'Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises'[/FONT] [/FONT][/FONT]

 [FONT size=4][/FONT]

 [FONT size=4]HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA......^^^^this is good.  I also like the funeral home one.....'Drive Carefully, We'll Wait'.[/FONT]

Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

purelife

#445
Oct 30 08 09:25
 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]TOP 10 REASONS[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

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 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]TRICK OR TREATING[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]IS BETTER THAN[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]SEX[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

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 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]#10[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] YOU'RE[SPAN class=ececececececececapple-converted-space] [/SPAN][/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]GUARANTEED[/SPAN][SPAN class=ececececececececapple-converted-space][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]TO GET AT LEAST[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]A LITTLE SOMETHING IN THE SACK![/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

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 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]#9[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

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 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]IF YOU GET TIRED[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]YOU CAN WAIT TEN MINUTES[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]AND GO AT IT AGAIN[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p] [/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

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 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]#8[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

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 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]THE EASIER IT IS TO GET SOME[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

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 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]#7[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

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 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]YOU DON'T HAVE TO[SPAN class=ececececececececapple-converted-space] [/SPAN][/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]COMPLIMENT[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]THE PERSON WHO GIVES YOU SOME[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p] [/o:p][/SPAN]

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 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]#6[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

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 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]FORTY YEARS FROM NOW[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]YOU'LL STILL ENJOY CANDY[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p] [/o:p][/SPAN]

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 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]#5[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

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 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]ITS O.K. WHEN THE PERSON YOU'RE[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]WITH[SPAN class=ececececececececapple-converted-space] [/SPAN][/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]FANTASIZES[/SPAN][SPAN class=ececececececececapple-converted-space][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]YOU'RE SOMEONE ELSE,[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]BECAUSE YOU ARE[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p] [/o:p][/SPAN]

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 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]#4[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU GET[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p] [/o:p][/SPAN]

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 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]#3[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THE KIDS[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]HEAR YOU[SPAN class=ececececececececapple-converted-space] [/SPAN][/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]MOANING[/SPAN][SPAN class=ececececececececapple-converted-space][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]&[SPAN class=ececececececececapple-converted-space] [/SPAN][/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]GROANING[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p] [/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]#2[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]LESS[/SPAN][SPAN class=ececececececececapple-converted-space][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]GUILT[/SPAN][SPAN class=ececececececececapple-converted-space][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]THE MORNING AFTER![/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p] [/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]#1[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=ececececececececececececececececmsonormal style="MARGIN: auto 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD![/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN]

P.C.

#446
Oct 30 08 09:41
  [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; 10pt: "][/SPAN][SPAN style="COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; 10pt: "][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; 10pt: "][SPAN style="COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; 10pt: "]THREE TOP reasons SEX is better than TRICK OR TREATING[/SPAN][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; 10pt: "][SPAN style="COLOR: maroon; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; 10pt: "][/SPAN][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN][?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /][o:p][FONT color=#800000][/FONT][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN][o:p][FONT color=#800000][/FONT][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN][o:p][FONT color=#800000]YOU CAN LOSE CALORIES INSTEAD OF ADDING THEM[/FONT][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN][o:p][FONT color=#800000][/FONT][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN][o:p][FONT color=#800000]IT'S A SHORTER TRIP TO THE BEDROOM, THAN HAVING TO WANDER THE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD TO GET SOME.[/FONT][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN][o:p][FONT color=#800000][/FONT][/o:p][/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN][o:p][FONT color=#800000][SPAN][o:p][FONT color=#800000]AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON SEX IS BETTER THAN TRICK OR TREATING....AN ORGASM FEELS MUCH BETTER THAN A CAVITY.   [/FONT][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT][/o:p][/SPAN]

[/DIV]
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

purelife

#447
Oct 30 08 09:44
Oh Oh..I know a 4th one to that list, P.C.

  #4 - you're never too old to have sex, but you could be too old to trick or treat.    

Michel

#448
Nov 04 08 09:20
 [span style="font-family: Bookman Old Style;"]    
[/span][blockquote style="border-left: 2px solid rgb(160, 198, 229); padding-left: 5px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px;"][div dir="ltr"][div class="EC_gmail_quote"][div][blockquote dir="ltr" style="margin-right: 0px;"][div style="font-family: times new roman,new york,times,serif;"][div style="font-family: times new roman,new york,times,serif;"][div style="font-family: times new roman,new york,times,serif;"][div][font style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif;"][font color="#000000" face="Comic Sans MS"][table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0"][tbody][tr][td dir="ltr" style="direction: ltr;" width="100%"][div dir="ltr"][table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"][tbody][tr][td valign="top"][div style="padding-left: 5px; margin-left: 5px;"][div][div][table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"][tbody][tr][td valign="top"][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table][/div][/div][/div][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table][/div][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table][/font][/font][/div][/div][/div][/div][/blockquote][/div][/div][/div][/blockquote][font style="font-family: tahoma,sans-serif;"][font color="#000000" face="Comic Sans MS"][/font][/font]
 

P.C.

#449
Nov 04 08 09:49
LOL

  War dims hope for peace.   [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/more/bigs/c008.gif" border=0]
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.
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