Post your jokes here. AKA Joke thread.

[P.C.]

Lil Me wrote:  [DL] [DD]I lie awake waiting for you. As I lie on my bed, thinking about you, I feel   [DD]this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last   [DD]night. You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and   [DD]what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.
 [DD]You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations,   [DD]you lay on my naked body. You sensed my indifference, so you applied your   [DD]hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you nearly drove me   [DD]crazy while you drained me. Finally I went to sleep.
 [DD]Today when I woke up, you were gone. I searched for you but to no avail,   [DD]only the sheets bore witness to last night's events. My body still bears faint   [DD]marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it harder to forget you. Tonight   [DD]I will remain awake waiting for you...
 [DD]....you f@#$!ng mosquito. [/DD][/DL] That is SO good.  

 I couldn't believe how bad the mosquitos were in Langley.  Never seen anything like it.  We barely have skeeters here......must be the ocean breeze ?

[Michel]

   
 

[purelife]

.  

[Sawdust]

[FONT face=Arial color=#9933ff size=4]A kindergarten student told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her student. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?!?!" the teacher yelled in shock. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move." [/FONT]

[FONT face=Arial color=#9933ff size=4][/FONT]

[FONT face=Arial color=#9933ff size=4]
A teacher was doing a study testing the senses of first graders, using a bowl of lifesavers. The children began to say:
"Red............cherry"
"Yellow.........lemon"
"Green..........lime"
"Orange.........orange"
Finally the teacher gave them all honey lifesavers. After eating them none of the children could identify the taste. "Well," she said, "I'll give you all a clue, it's what your mother may sometimes call your father." One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled: "Oh My God!!!! They're a**holes!

 

 One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little gir l raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"

 [/FONT]

 

[Michel]

 [span class="normalTextSmall"]    
[/span]

[Sawdust]

LOL!!

[Lil Me]

 [div] [p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]May  30th:[/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]
[font face="Arial"][span style="font-family: Arial;"]Just moved to THE SUNNY OKANAGAN.  NOW THIS IS THE PLACE TO  LIVE[/span][/font][/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"] ... [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]Beautiful sunny days  and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful.  I've[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"]   [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]finally found my  home. I love it here.[/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]
[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"] [/span][/font][O:P][/O:P][/p][/div][/div]  [div] [p class="ecnormalweb1"][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="2"][span style="font-size: 10pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]June  14th:[/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]
[font face="Arial"][span style="font-family: Arial;"]Really heating up. Got to 30 today.  Not a problem. Live in  an[/span][/font][/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"]   [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]air-conditioned home,  drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure  to[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"]   [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]see the sun everyday  like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.[/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]

[font face="Arial"][span style="font-family: Arial;"]June  30th:[/span][/font]
[font face="Arial"][span style="font-family: Arial;"]Had the backyard landscaped with western plants  today. Lots of  cactus[/span][/font][/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"]   [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]and rocks. What a  breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for  me. Another[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"]   [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]scorcher today, but I  love it here.[/span][/font][O:P][/O:P][/p] [div] [p class="ecnormalweb1"][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]July  10th:[/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]
[font face="Arial"][span style="font-family: Arial;"]The temperature hasn't been below 30  all week. How do people get used  to[/span][/font][/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"]   [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]this kind of heat?   At least it's kind of windy though.  But getting  used[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]to the heat is taking  longer that I expected.[/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]

[font face="Arial"][span style="font-family: Arial;"]July  15th:[/span][/font]
[font face="Arial"][span style="font-family: Arial;"]Fell asleep by the community pool.  Got 3rd degree  burns over 60% of  my[/span][/font][/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]body. Missed 3 days  of work. What a dumb thing to do.  I learned  my[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]lesson  though[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"].[/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"] Got to respect the  ol' sun in a climate like this.[/span][/font][font face="Arial" size="2"][span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial;"]

[/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]July  20th:[/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]
[font face="Arial"][span style="font-family: Arial;"]I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking  into the car when I left this  morning.[/span][/font][/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]By the time I got to  the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up  to[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]the size of a  shopping bag and stunk up the upholstery.  The car  now[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]smells like Kibbles  and shits.  I learned my lesson though.  No more pets  in[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]this  heat.[/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]

[font face="Arial"][span style="font-family: Arial;"]July  25th:[/span][/font]
[font face="Arial"][span style="font-family: Arial;"]The wind sucks.  It feels like a giant freaking blow  dryer!!  And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the  A/C repairman[/span][/font][/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-family: Arial;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Arial" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon; font-family: Arial;"]charged $200 just to  drive by and tell me he needed to order  parts.[/span][/font][O:P][/O:P][/p] [p class="ecnormalweb1"][font face="Times New Roman" size="3"][span style="font-size: 12pt;"]
[/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]July  30th:[/span][/font][font color="maroon" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]
[font face="Times New Roman"]Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now.  $500,000 house and[/font][/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]I can't even go inside. Why did I ever  come here?[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][O:P][/O:P][/p] [p class="ecnormalweb1"][font face="Times New Roman" size="3"][span style="font-size: 12pt;"]
[/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]Aug.  4th:[/span][/font][font color="maroon" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]
[font face="Times New Roman"]Its 115 degrees.  Finally got the air-conditioner fixed  today.  It cost[/font][/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]$500 and gets the temperature down to  20.  I hate this stupid city.[/span][/font][font color="maroon" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]

[font face="Times New Roman"]Aug. 8th:[/font]
[font face="Times New Roman"]If another wise-ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?'  I'm going to[/font][/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]strangle him.  Damn heat.  By the time I  get to work the radiator is[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet,  and I smell like baked cat!![/span][/font][font color="maroon" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]

[font face="Times New Roman"]Aug. 9th:[/font]
[font face="Times New Roman"]Tried to run some errands after work.   Wore shorts, and  when I sat on the[/font][/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]seats in the car, I thought my ass was on  fire.  I lost 2 layers of flesh[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]and all the hair on the back of my legs  and ass.  Now my car smells like[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]burnt hair, fried ass, and baked  cat.[/span][/font][font color="maroon" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]
[font face="Times New Roman"]   [/font][/span][/font][O:P][/O:P][/p] [p class="ecnormalweb1"][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]Aug.  10th:[/span][/font][font color="maroon" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]
[font face="Times New Roman"]The weather report might as well  be[/font][/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman"][span style="color: maroon;"]  [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]a damn  recording. Hot and sunny! Hot[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]and sunny! Hot and sunny!  It's been too  hot to do shit for 2 damn months[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]and the weatherman says it might really  warm up next week. Doesn't it ever[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]rain in this damn desert??  Water  rationing will be next, so my $1700  worth[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]of cactus will just dry up and blow over.  Even the cactus can't live in this damn  heat.[/span][/font][O:P][/O:P][/p] [p class="ecnormalweb1"][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]Aug.  14th:[/span][/font][font color="maroon" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]
[font face="Times New Roman"]Welcome to HELL!!!   Temperature[/font][/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman"][span style="color: maroon;"]  [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]got to 40  today. Forgot to crack the[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]window and[/span][/font][font color="maroon"][span style="color: maroon;"]  [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]blew the damn windshield out  of the car. The installer came to[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you  today?'   My sister had to spend  $1500[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]to bail me out of jail. Freaking  OKANAGAN!! What kind of a sick  demented[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]idiot would want to live  here??[/span][/font][O:P][/O:P][/p]
 [p class="ecnormalweb1"][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="font-size: 18pt; color: maroon;"]Will write later to let you  know how the trial went.[/span][/font] [O:P][/O:P][/p][/div]  

[P.C.]

[FONT size=5]LOL ![/FONT]

[Michel]

     

 

[P.C.]

LOL.  I tried not to laugh, but it didn't work.  [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/more/bigs/c008.gif" border=0]

[Michel]

     

[Michel]

   

[purelife]

LOL about the guts or balls joke... I forwarded that joke to others.  

[49er]

a friend who is an avid gun lover sent me this.................

      [P class=MsoNormal][FONT face=Tahoma size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]Subject:[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma size=2][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"] FW: Staggering Statistics[/SPAN][/FONT]



[P class=MsoNormal][FONT face="Times New Roman" size=3][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"][/SPAN][/FONT]    [DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px"] [P class=MsoNormal][FONT face=Tahoma size=2][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"][/SPAN][/FONT]

[/DIV][/DIV]

[SPAN style="WORD-SPACING: 0px"]    [BLOCKQUOTE style="MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt"] [P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center][FONT face=Tahoma color=red size=7][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 36pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]FACTS TO PONDER:[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT color=black][SPAN style="COLOR: black"][/SPAN][/FONT]

[/BLOCKQUOTE]

[P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt"][FONT face="Times New Roman" color=black size=3][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black"]
[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]  [/SPAN][/FONT][FONT color=black][SPAN style="COLOR: black"][/SPAN][/FONT]



[P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"] (A) The number of physicians in the[SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space] [/SPAN] U.S.[SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space] [/SPAN]is[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]700,000.

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians[SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space] [/SPAN]

per year are[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]120,000.

 (C) Accidental deaths per physician

 is[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]0.171.

[SPAN class=yshortcuts id=lw_1219450742_0]Statistics[/SPAN] courtesy of[SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space] [/SPAN] U.S.[SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space] [/SPAN]Dept of[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]Health Human Services.

 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Now think about this:

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=red size=7][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 36pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]Guns:

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"](A) The number of gun owners in the[SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space] [/SPAN] U.S.

 is

 80,000,000.[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=purple size=1][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 7.5pt; COLOR: purple; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"](Yes, that's 80 million..)

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"] >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"](B) The number of accidental gun deaths[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]per year, all age groups,

 is

1,500.

 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

(C) The number of accidental deaths[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]per gun owner[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]is[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT color=black][SPAN style="COLOR: black"][/SPAN][/FONT]



 [P class=MsoNormal][FONT face="Times New Roman" color=navy size=3][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: navy"][/SPAN][/FONT][FONT color=black][SPAN style="COLOR: black"][/SPAN][/FONT]

[/DIV]

[P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"].000188.

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=red size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]Statistics courtesy of [SPAN class=yshortcuts id=lw_1219450742_1]FBI[/SPAN]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=purple size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: purple; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"] [/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=5][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So,[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT color=black][SPAN style="COLOR: black"][/SPAN][/FONT]   [P class=MsoNormal][FONT face="Times New Roman" color=navy size=3][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: navy"][/SPAN][/FONT][FONT color=black][SPAN style="COLOR: black"][/SPAN][/FONT]



[P class=MsoNormal style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]statistically, doctors are approximately

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=purple size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: purple; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"] 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>[SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space] [/SPAN]

Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>[SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space] [/SPAN]

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN,

 BUT[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=purple size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: purple; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>[SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space] [/SPAN]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=#ff0080 size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #ff0080; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]Please alert your friends[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=#ff0080 size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #ff0080; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]to this

 alarming threat.[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=#ff0080 size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #ff0080; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]We must ban doctors[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=#ff0080 size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #ff0080; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>[SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space] [/SPAN]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=purple size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: purple; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]Out of concern for the public at large,[SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space] [/SPAN]

I withheld the statistics on[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=red size=5][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]lawyers[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=5][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]for fear the shock would cause[/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=ecapple-converted-space][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]

[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma color=blue size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]people to panic and seek medical attention[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT color=black][SPAN style="COLOR: black"][/SPAN][/FONT]  [BLOCKQUOTE][/BLOCKQUOTE][/SPAN]

[van_guy]

 Lil Me wrote:

[div][p class="ecnormalweb1"][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="color: maroon;"][/span][/font][o:p][/o:p][/p] [p class="ecnormalweb1"][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="color: maroon;"]Aug.  14th:[/span][/font][font color="maroon" size="5"][span style="font-weight: bold; color: maroon;"]
[font face="Times New Roman"]Welcome to HELL!!!   Temperature[/font][/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman"][span style="color: maroon;"]  [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="color: maroon;"]got to 40  today. Forgot to crack the[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="color: maroon;"]window and[/span][/font][font color="maroon"][span style="color: maroon;"]  [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="color: maroon;"]blew the damn windshield out  of the car. The installer came to[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="color: maroon;"]fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you  today?'   My sister had to spend  $1500[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="color: maroon;"]to bail me out of jail. Freaking  OKANAGAN!! What kind of a sick  demented[/span][/font][font color="navy" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="color: navy;"] [/span][/font][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="color: maroon;"]idiot would want to live  here??[/span][/font][o:p][/o:p][/p]
 [p class="ecnormalweb1"][font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="color: maroon;"]Will write later to let you  know how the trial went.[/span][/font][/p]
[p class="ecnormalweb1"]
[/p][p class="ecnormalweb1"]Try adding 95% humidity to the mix and add rolling blackouts for no a/c time throw in a hundred leaches.  Welcome to my world.
[font color="maroon" face="Times New Roman" size="5"][span style="color: maroon;"][/span][/font] [o:p][/o:p][/p][/div]