Which is better. to take your moral compass from the behaviour and attitudes of those around you? or to act according to your own conscience?
I think to get along in society, a blend of the options you suggested would work nicely. I believe you shouldn't abandon your ideas and beliefs, (opinions should be flexible) but adapting to the behaviour of those around you just seems like common sense to me.
A person might feel that 'acting according to their own conscience' may make it acceptable to make sure a person is told that their taste in clothing left a lot to be desired, and their hairstyle went out 20 years ago and for gawwds sake, DO something about your nose........but I wouldn't advise it.