Poetic Drivel

Started by Orik, Dec 04 06 12:24

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Orik

Dec 04 06 12:24
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Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

Adam_Fulford

#1
Dec 07 06 11:37
[span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica;"]Orik, this poem of yours sets off alarm bells, making one wonder if it is a suicide note sent to a public forum. A cry for help?

Apart from that, your writing is powerful. Strong use of images and metaphors. Shows a lot of promise.  I could see it as a short film.
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Orik

#2
Dec 07 06 06:00
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Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

Lise

#3
Dec 07 06 06:56
Wow. You're brave to put your picture out there.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby.

Orik

#4
Dec 07 06 07:56
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Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

Thread Cop

#5
Dec 08 06 04:34
Nice poem. I understood some of it.  

Lise

#6
Dec 08 06 07:59
I understood nothing of the Orik.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby.

kingy

#7
Dec 08 06 08:05
clearly that poem is the contant battle between right and wrong. it is very ironic when the poem introduces what happens or what is said and what we believe will happen which causes feelings of tension between the two conflicting ideas.
...

Orik

#8
Dec 10 06 02:32
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Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

Thread Cop

#9
Dec 10 06 05:04
Wow..Atleast Kingy got it... Good job Kingy..  

Orik

#10
Dec 10 06 10:38
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Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

Orik

#11
Dec 11 06 08:14
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Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

Thread Cop

#12
Dec 13 06 08:46
Nice Poem...  

Orik

#13
Dec 14 06 08:04
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Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

P.C.

#14
Dec 14 06 08:55
Well, although I don't think I understand it, you learn things wherever you go.  I had no idea, bone marrow was green.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.
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