So... Whats for lunch?

Started by kits, Feb 06 06 09:57

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Sportsdude

Good afternoon P.C. busy day?  
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

purelife

I agree about patience and talking to them at their level.  I've seen so many parents, when they are mad at their children, shout from across the room, but the kid doesn't stop.  I prefer the method of being right in front of them, kneeling down to their level and talk to them.  Kids are smart and can pick up on your vibe.  I believe in always trying to maintain "calmness."  If the parent is frazzled, the kid will be as well.  

  Ok I've watched too many episodes of SUPER NANNY! ;)  

Sportsdude

lol purelife.

When I become a father someday I'm determined not to yell like my parents do.  Shoutingfests suck and they're stupid.
 
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

P.C.

Insanely busy day SD.  Thank god I'm off early.

  The only drawback on raising children, is that you never really know for certain that you did it right until they show you ......by being responsible, loving, well adjusted adults.  Only then do we know we succeeded.  
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

purelife

Hi PC.

  True.  Totally agree.  We'd never know until they come up to mommy and daddy and give thanks to how they were raised.  

Sportsdude

 Well I disagree.  My parents really never taught me anything I just followed their example. By late teenage years I can tell who'd be a good parent just by looking around.  But then again I've got good example's within my family.  For example my family is the only one that is still together.  We sorta take that as pride.  
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

P.C.

I'm not sure what you disagree with SD.

I think only when you see your children as adults and how they handle their relationships and whether they treat others with compassion and caring.....do you really know for sure that you've done something right.  I suppose you can see it when they are younger, but the stresses of adult life can change some people.  Those that have had a good foundation will make the transition nicely.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Sportsdude

"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

purelife

My parents really never taught me anything I just followed their example.

 
 Uhm, isn't that contradicting yourself?  If they never taught you anything, you wouldn't be able to follow their example.  You learned from watching their behavoirs.  To me, they have taught you how they are as parents.  You would have to be under foster care to say that they never taught you anything because parents do teach by the behaviors they set forth to their children, consciously or sub-consciously.  

 Ok, do tell me if I'm not making sense and if I sound confusing.  


Sportsdude

Well I mean I guess I was thinking of what I see on tv with those tv ads that say "talk to your kids about drugs blah blah blah"

These ads on tv that they show, I believe those are unrealistic or that's not how I grew up. My parents never talked to me about those things.  I just concluded on my own that this was bad or something like that.

I think I'm confusing people.  My parents taught me things but I think it was more passive then direct.
 
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

P.C.

You're making perfect sense purelife.  Moms and Dads teach more to their children by how they treat each other than what they actually teach the child.  You can treat them perfectly and lovingly ....but if you are at each others throats, you are showing them what relationships are supposed to be like.  

  So if you're scratching your head trying to figure out why princess grew up to marry a verbally abusive man when you in fact showed her nothing but love.....she learned it from what you showed her about relationships.  The best thing parents can teach their kids is by being loving and kind to each other.....they won't expect anything less from their partner when the time comes.        
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Sportsdude

exactly. That's how my parents were. Sorry I got people confused, I was thinking of these talk to your kids ads that are always on tv, which are completely unrealistic, imo.  
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

purelife

You know what, I wish that society never instilled the "terrible twos" into parents.  I don't and never will believe in terrible twos.  Parents seem to look at me funny when they hear that from me and my explanation.

Sportsdude

my mom would say I was the best during those 'terrible twos' and ever since then its been down hill.  Although I completely disagree of course.  
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

Lil Me

 Hi!  Good afternoon.  What's for snacky?  I just had some honey sesame snap things.  
"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it."  Robert Heinlein

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