Orik wrote:
The turning of ones negatives into a positive is never easy.
With some it's not even possible 
Our own memories of any incident tend to be flawed in that aspect. We will tend to remember our selves as better or more altruistic than what that situation might have actually been like. Basically we paint ourselves in a better light, than what someone else will see.
I believe we've all been guilty of that at some point in time.
ego our possessiveness & selfishness gets within the way.
There are some who would replace these traits with one word... confidence. All the while never understanding that they can be confident without being a complete dick. It takes a true friend to tell someone of their negatives and to be willing to show them to you.
I agree however it does no good what so ever to point these things out if the person they are being pointed out to is not open to it... just like you said earlier. Clearly Orik, you and I see that person as a true friend but there are others out there would see that person as the complete opposite. Also there are sensitive ways to tell someone of their flaws. Flat out, straight up, harsh name calling is not the way to accomplish anything..imo. We men do not like to have our short comings pointed out to ourselves, We dislike it even more so if it is a woman pointing them out to ourselves.
Because of the blind spot, that veil we all wear, we can not see or own faults. this is when we need to rely on a good or a true friend. We need them to point our short comings out. If a friend does not point out our shortcomings... How can we ever change from them?
A person has to want to change before change is doable. Faults pointed out or not. As you pointed out earlier, ego comes into play. Why a body would not want to change is beyond me. From the moment we're concieved, we are changing. Life changes with every person who comes and goes. What is the saying to forgive is divine ? We should never forget the things we do or have had done to us. We should always be willing to forgive, however there is one problem with that, we judge ourselves to harshly. We are bad at forgiving one's own self.
Forgiving is devine. It brings a peace over ones soul. I see nothing wrong with forgetting though. The forgiveness has happened, why allow youself to be burdened by horrible memories? Men are hoarders particularly when it comes to the area of emotion. We just do not like to show it. we have been raised brought up that to show emotion or to cry is to show weakness and the weak are always the first to be killed, it is the strongest of the fittest after all that are the ones to survive.
If men are emotional hoarders then why do some men forgive women, accept them back into their lives and pick up the friendship/relationship right where it left off? Jeez here is is on a Sunday night and we are defining the spirit of man and discussing the Id of society.
lol.. there are worse things we could be doing and/or saying to each other.
