Irish, you surprise me with what you have to say. It is a very observant truth on people today. The turning of ones negatives into a positive is never easy. The thing with change is we need to be open to it. If it takes a negative to turn it into a positive, so be it.
Our own memories of any incident tend to be flawed in that aspect. We will tend to remember our selves as better or more altruistic than what that situation might have actually been like. Basically we paint ourselves in a better light, than what someone else will see.
A stranger who meets us for the first time is more likely to see us for what we are, they see us as we are. they tend to see us without a veil over their eyes. . Until we can learn to see through the eyes of that stranger we will remain blind and unable to see our selves as flawed this is because our own id and our own ego our possessiveness & selfishness gets within the way.
It takes a true friend to tell someone of their negatives and to be willing to show them to you. We men do not like to have our short comings pointed out to ourselves, We dislike it even more so if it is a woman pointing them out to ourselves.
Because of the blind spot, that veil we all wear, we can not see or own faults. this is when we need to rely on a good or a true friend. We need them to point our short comings out. If a friend does not point out our shortcomings... How can we ever change from them?
What is the saying to forgive is divine ? We should never forget the things we do or have had done to us. We should always be willing to forgive, however there is one problem with that, we judge ourselves to harshly. We are bad at forgiving one's own self.
No matter what our past sins, misdeeds or atrocities may have been we need to learn to forgive our selves. What ever it was that we may have committed in the past. Our past is just that, it is in the past. This is today and each day can begin anew. We do not have to stay the same, we do not have to live in the past. The problem is letting go of the things of our past and a willingness to move ahead into the future.
Sure we can change and become the better for it. however when we hold to tight to our own sin (past misdeeds) be what ever they may be. We do not like to let it go, the reason for this is because whether it is for the good or nought, It is the selfishness in us that makes us hold on to things that would be better served by their release, be it emotional or of the physical variety...
Men are hoarders particularly when it comes to the area of emotion. We just do not like to show it. we have been raised brought up that to show emotion or to cry is to show weakness and the weak are always the first to be killed, it is the strongest of the fittest after all that are the ones to survive.
Men need to learn that it is okay to show their emotions. A man can be strong and still show his emotional side. Until all of mankind can learn to share their feelings the true emotions they hide behind the walls they build there will always be atrocities...
Murder is not done so much out of hatred or anger it happens more so because during a moment of time when some one is so over come by years of emotional upheaval it suddenly explodes in a moment of blood and violence..
Murder is a thought that happens first. If we can not learn to stop that thought and control the emotion within it. Mankind is doomed to be trapped into violence of self. We can always learn something new from the past. But can we move forward and escape from the bonds of our forfathers can we break free of the emotions this selfish war that keeps us prisoner now ?
Jeez here is is on a Sunday night and we are defining the spirit of man and discussing the Id of society.