Making the first move

Started by Lise, Mar 26 08 05:44

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Lise

Mar 26 08 05:44
I was talking to my female co-worker the other day. She's single and is adamant that men in Vancouver are cowards because they won't approach her. I told her, why not just approach the guys instead but she's a firm believer that the men should make the first move. "Call me old fashion," She said to me.

  I was just wondering, do you think in this day and age, the guy should be the one to make the first move? If the woman do it, would men think differently about her?
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby.

P.C.

#1
Mar 26 08 06:41
I'm not sure if it's an issue of modern times or old fashioned times as much as it is about an individuals beliefs or where their comfort zone is.  But I wonder.... if a person is single and old fashioned, and it isn't working for them....then maybe it's time to look at things from a different angle.

  It's a myth that women didn't make the first move in 'old fashioned' times.  They did.  They just did it differently than they do now.

  As far as if men will think differently about a woman who makes the first move ?  I would say yes....but I'm guessing it would be a positive in their eyes.  I think todays men are in a tough spot, and I wouldn't be surprised to find that many men might believe that it's no longer 'safe' or wise to approach women.  I think they need clearer 'signs', as the signals we send out have changed.  Caution or coyness can easily be mistaken for aloofness or lack of interest.

  Your co-worker might remain single for a long time if she is clinging to old fashioned standards, without examining why.    
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Van

#2
Mar 26 08 07:25
Lise wrote:
 I was talking to my female co-worker the other day. She's single and is adamant that men in Vancouver are cowards because they won't approach her. I told her, why not just approach the guys instead but she's a firm believer that the men should make the first move. "Call me old fashion," She said to me.



I was just wondering, do you think in this day and age, the guy should be the one to make the first move? If the woman do it, would men think differently about her?[/DIV]
 As a single guy, I have no problems making the first move. I also have no prob with a lady making the first move too. I am also very honest from the start that I am not in a relationship kind of place in my life right now. Guys or gals shouldn't be leading the other on if all they want is a short term thang!
When the End comes, don't worry if your party shoes are clean or not. Just make sure you have them on!

Lil Me

#3
Mar 26 08 07:40
 Lise wrote:
I was just wondering, do you think in this day and age, the guy should be the one to make the first move? If the woman do it, would men think differently about her?
 --
 
 Speaking from my own ancient dating life, if I made a move and the guy couldn't deal, he was history.
 
"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it."  Robert Heinlein

purelife

#4
Mar 26 08 08:43
If I was single, I would make the move.  I couldn't just hum and haw and wait.  I would clearly give him the signals that I'm interested.  If he doesn't approach me first within a few days, then I would.  If he rejects me, then NEXT!  Life moves on and the next guy is waiting somewhere.

  I'm with PC that many guys have trouble figuring the girl out.  So, they just don't approach them.        

Michel

#5
Mar 26 08 09:03
       

P.C.

#6
Mar 26 08 10:56
lol Michel.  I think that's true.  I don't think the fear of risking rejection is exclusive to one gender.  Is it fair to put the men in the position of being the ones always to take that risk ?

  Waltzing up to someone and asking them to dinner is one thing....but sending subtle messages that you are at least approachable is the only move that makes it easier for both sides to know how or if to make the next move.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Russ

#7
Mar 26 08 11:14
I have no problems with asking or being asked.

I wouldnt ask girls that sent off warning vibes in me.. I know it sounds bad, but are you sure she's sending out the right sort of signals?

  But I do agree with Michel... there has to be obvious signals being sent unless Im looking in the first place.
Mercy to the Guilty is Torture to the Victims

purelife

#8
Mar 26 08 11:29
Most of you guys are staring at all the wrong places.    

Van

#9
Mar 26 08 11:53
purelife wrote:
 Most of you guys are staring at all the wrong places.

   
 It's kind like turning on your favorite song, then trying to hear something else...
When the End comes, don't worry if your party shoes are clean or not. Just make sure you have them on!

purelife

#10
Mar 26 08 12:03
Lise - I also wonder if the girl is really afraid of rejection when this girl says that she's "traditional" and prefers the guy to ask her out.    

Gopher

#11
Mar 26 08 12:15
I think you've probably hit the nail on the head, Purelife.
A fool's paradise is better than none.

Van

#12
Mar 26 08 12:35
If I like a girl, I walk up to her and start doing the "Robot". Girls dig that. They love it so much, they run far away in excitement!
When the End comes, don't worry if your party shoes are clean or not. Just make sure you have them on!

purelife

#13
Mar 26 08 12:39
Van, why do the Robot when you could be like him and pick up girls.  I wonder how Edward would make his first move.

  [img]vny!://images.art.com/images/-/Johnny-Depp---Edward-Scissorhands--C10103916.jpeg"]    

Gopher

#14
Mar 26 08 12:40
They wouldn't turn down the free haircut, that's for sure.
A fool's paradise is better than none.
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