Post your jokes here. AKA Joke thread.

[Sportsdude]

rotfl  

[P.C.]

rofl Sawdust  [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/frech/n080.gif" border=0]

[purelife]

That was a good counter-attack, Sawdust!

[Russ]

I can relate to some of those.. although weddings arent planning themselves for me... Ive tried this approach. Im having to do something here...        

[Sawdust]

Thanks, Someone has to defend us.    

[P.C.]

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too
icky.


My personal fave. [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/frech/c025.gif" border=0]

[Russ]

Sawdust wrote:
 Thanks, Someone has to defend us.

   
 True.

    EDIT: Hey!

[Sawdust]

Hey, Hey!

[Sportsdude]

[span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"]Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
[/span][span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"]A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.


thought those were hysterical.
[/span]  

[P.C.]

Of course there's the ever popular....The world is your urinal. [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/more/bigs/c008.gif" border=0]

[Sportsdude]

yeah that's a good one too.  

[purelife]

  [p class="ecmsonormal"][font color="black" face="Times New Roman" size="3"][span style="color: black;" lang="EN-GB"]Memo to all employees:[/span][/font][o:p][/o:p][/p] [div] [div] [div] [div style="margin-bottom: 5pt; margin-left: 3.75pt;"] [div style="margin-bottom: 5pt; margin-left: 3.75pt;"] [div] [p class="ecmsonormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"][font color="black" face="Times New Roman" size="3"][span style="font-weight: bold; color: black;" lang="EN-GB"]
[font face="Times New Roman"]In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"]from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"]through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T) [/font][/span][/font][o:p][/o:p][/p] [p class="ecmsonormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"][font color="black" face="Times New Roman" size="3"][span style="font-weight: bold; color: black;" lang="EN-GB"]We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. [/span][/font][font face="Times New Roman" size="2"][span style="" lang="IT"]If you [/span][/font][font face="Tahoma" size="2"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: Tahoma;" lang="IT"]

feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see

your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T

list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the

S. H. I. T. you can handle.[/span][/font][o:p][/o:p][/p] [p class="ecmsonormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"][font color="black" face="Times New Roman" size="3"][span style="font-weight: bold; color: black;" lang="IT"]

[font face="Times New Roman"]Employees who don't take their S. H. I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"]EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T). [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"]Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"]EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T). Since our supervisors took [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"]S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore, [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"]and are all full of S.H.I.T already. [/font][/span][/font][o:p][/o:p][/p] [p class="ecmsonormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"][font face="Times New Roman" size="3"][span style=""] [o:p][/o:p][/span][/font][/p] [p class="ecmsonormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"][font color="black" face="Times New Roman" size="3"][span style="color: black;" lang="IT"]If you are full of S.H.I.T,you may be interested in a job teaching others. [/span][/font][o:p][/o:p][/p] [p class="ecmsonormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"][font color="black" face="Times New Roman" size="3"][span style="color: black;" lang="IT"]We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS [/span][/font][o:p][/o:p][/p] [p class="ecmsonormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"][font color="black" face="Times New Roman" size="3"][span style="color: black;" lang="IT"](B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T). [/span][/font][o:p][/o:p][/p] [p class="ecmsonormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"][font face="Times New Roman" size="3"][span style=""] [o:p][/o:p][/span][/font][/p] [p class="ecmsonormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"][font color="black" face="Times New Roman" size="3"][span style="color: black;" lang="IT"]For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and [/span][/font][font face="Tahoma" size="2"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: Tahoma;" lang="IT"]

[/span][/font][font face="Times New Roman" size="2"][span style="" lang="IT"]consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL [/span][/font][font face="Tahoma" size="2"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: Tahoma;" lang="IT"]

[/span][/font][font face="Times New Roman" size="2"][span style="" lang="IT"]RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage [/span][/font][font face="Tahoma" size="2"][span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: Tahoma;" lang="IT"]

[/span][/font][font face="Times New Roman" size="2"][span style="" lang="IT"]M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.[/span][/font][o:p][/o:p][/p] [p class="ecmsonormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"][font color="black" face="Times New Roman" size="3"][span style="font-weight: bold; color: black;" lang="IT"]

[font face="Times New Roman"]If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"]SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T). [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"]Thank you, [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"]BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING  (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.) [/font][/span][/font][o:p][/o:p][/p] [p class="ecmsonormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"][font color="black" face="Times New Roman" size="3"][span style="font-weight: bold; color: black;" lang="IT"]

[font face="Times New Roman"]P.S. Now send this S.H.I.T to 5 people who need S.H.I.T in their life, [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"]just not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T They have already had [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"]their fill of S.H.I.T Thank you for your time. [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"]Sincerely, [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"]The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training. [/font]

[font face="Times New Roman"](The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T.) [/font][/span][/font][o:p][/o:p][/p][/div][/div][/div][/div][/div][/div]

[P.C.]

[img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/more/bigs/c008.gif" border=0]

  How true is That !!!!!

Good one purelife.

[purelife]

I totally relate to that.  I was literally laughing so hard at work!!!!  

[kitten]

I laughed until tears came to my eyes.  Hilarious!!!!