TROUBLE IN USA

[DDD]

The recession has hit everybody really hard...

My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally....

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars,  jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.

I called the Suicide Hotline and  got a call centre in Pakistan.

[TehBorken]

LOL!

[Gopher]

Brilliant!

[Natasha]

:-D  I loved it! Thanks for sharing it.

[purelife]

I sent it to a few co-workers and we all loved it!  Thanks for the laugh.  

[DDD]

So after landing my new job as a   Wal-Mart   greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day...


About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

I said pleasantly, "Good morning   and welcome to Wal Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,

"Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 5.

Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or stupid?"

So I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

[Natasha]

lmao

    I shared this with a a friend and she asked me if it really happened  lol  I guess I'm the smart one of us two