What would you

Started by DDD, May 18 10 11:14

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P.C.

Cripes, wrong thread.    
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

DDD

P.C. wrote:
Hahahahaaa.  I think it was about how we want to be remembered when we're dead............LOL

I just decided I want to be remembered for being clear and succinct. [img border=0 src="/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/4.gif"]   ........OK
      Now I'm trying to remember who started this thread. Whoever did, we should beat his bottom blue for not being more exact with his original posts... lol


 

 Please do

 

God is great, beer is good and people are crazy!

P.C.

I was confusing this thread with the "How would you like...." thread.  
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

DDD

P.C. wrote:
I was confusing this thread with the "How would you like...." thread.  
     yes you are.......................and How would you like
God is great, beer is good and people are crazy!

Itsy Bitsy

Natasha wrote:
 Just because abuse doens't happen right where the children can see it with their own eyes, doens't mean they don't know what's going on. Adults don't give children the credit they deserve. Children are more aware of what's going than we think they are. Children can benefit from a good male figure... perferrably the father of that child(ren). No one can deny that. If abuse was happening in a way that a woman could fool even herself into believing the child(ren) didn't know about it and the husband/father was great to the children, I see no harm in her trying to stay with him. However, when a beating stops because a crying child stands in front of the mother (that does happen) then it's just a bad situation for everyone involved. When life has gotten to a point where all you have is your child(ren) and all they have is you, making those children feel as if they've replaced by a man would be a huge step backwards in all of your progress.

  I disagree. There is plenty of harm in her staying with him.


 

DDD

Itsy Bitsy wrote:
Natasha wrote:
 Just because abuse doens't happen right where the children can see it with their own eyes, doens't mean they don't know what's going on. Adults don't give children the credit they deserve. Children are more aware of what's going than we think they are. Children can benefit from a good male figure... perferrably the father of that child(ren). No one can deny that. If abuse was happening in a way that a woman could fool even herself into believing the child(ren) didn't know about it and the husband/father was great to the children, I see no harm in her trying to stay with him. However, when a beating stops because a crying child stands in front of the mother (that does happen) then it's just a bad situation for everyone involved. When life has gotten to a point where all you have is your child(ren) and all they have is you, making those children feel as if they've replaced by a man would be a huge step backwards in all of your progress.

  I disagree. There is plenty of harm in her staying with him.

[/DIV]
 
 I agree the f*cker needs his dick cut off and stuffed up his ass and his balls shoved down his throat.

  No person should hit
God is great, beer is good and people are crazy!

Little Fish

I disagree just a little bit DDD sometimes there is a reason to hit some one else... No person should hit some one out of anger. I do not think someone should strike another because they can. I do think that In the case of saving your own life or some one Else's  life, then and only then, may the use of force be utilized...

 Striking someone out of self defense is an entirely different matter and perfectly acceptable in my book.

Example 1.
If a woman is coming at you with a knife and intends to gut you like a fish, because
A. you said something bad to her
B. any other unjustified reason,
I think it is perfectible acceptable in a situation like this to use a closed handed strike, to
1. disarm her
2. regain control in the fastest possible manner.

That is one of the very few situations, I think is acceptable where a male may strike a woman. It may not be the only situation that arises, but it is only one of a few examples where striking a woman by a male may be considered acceptable.

 

Natasha

DDD wrote:
 No person should hit[/DIV]
 Agree.

Natasha

Little Fish wrote:
No person should hit some one out of anger.

 You can't fairly say that. Even in self defense, a part of you is angry and you would most certain hit someone to defend yourself.

 Example 1.
If a woman is coming at you with a knife and intends to gut you like a fish, because
A. you said something bad to her
B. any other unjustified reason,
I think it is perfectible acceptable in a situation like this to use a closed handed strike, to
1. disarm her
2. regain control in the fastest possible manner.


 The only way that would be acceptable (imo) is if it were a random woman in a freak situation. But if this a woman you know and/or are in a relationship with... then NO it's still not ok to hit her. The reason I feel this way is because as her mate you should know how she handles anger and what her triggers are. This being such, you have the option of

 1) shutting the f*ck up

 2) walking away til you both calm down

 [BR style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"]

[/SPAN] [SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"]
[/SPAN]  


 

Gone Fishing C U Tue.

 Any person is capable of snapping and losing it even a couple in a relationship.  

Male and female on Robson street had been using some chemicals that reacted badly, the male got violent flipped out and took on a car, the car full of young frightened teens, this hulk of a male (6'2 medium to large muscular build approximately 225 - 250 Lbs

He put his fist through the car window, rocking the car side to side. Blood flowing down his hands he kept lashing out at random, the public walking past and the poor teens trapped in the car, this man had snapped... It took 4 of us to take him down AND 2 PAIRS OF HANDCUFFS TO RESTRAIN HIM. He broke the first pair put on him, I have never seen it done before, but I did that night.

The woman did not take kindly to her man being arrested and went off on the Officers arresting him. calming and settling her down was not that difficult. The problems arose a little time later, She had a knife and had gone off the dee pend she has slashed her wrist open from thumb to elbow.

Sadly once she had been settled down and sat down, none of the officers on the scene paid any attention to the young lass, she took advantage of the time to attempt suicide or to just cry for help in a strange way. She was taken in to police custody and then to the hospital for the help she needed, as for the man he was taken to hospital for assessment, then later to the police station for charges of assault, vandalism and a couple of others. The girl was never charged.

I have seen situations where a couple have lashed out at each other. Had it been the girl who had snapped and not the guy and if she had gone after him with a knife.
What you are saying Natasha is he should not strike her to defend himself ?

I have to concede in most relationships the chances of that happened are slim..

Situation B
MALE A. Has been f*cking his wife's, younger sister and the wife goes after him with a knife with the intention of killing him.. He strikes her once knocking her cold...

Who is at fault and what charges do you press ?

Situation C
Wife has been drinking and is intoxicated. Husband comes home from work, Wife demands more money, so she can go buy more alcohol, husband refuses to give her anymore money till she sobers up...

Wife proceeds to beat her husband with a stick. Should the man stand there and take it? Should he run away? Should he strike his wife and take the stick from her? Should he leave the house & call 911 then press charges of assault against his wife?

In situation C Husband was in an abusive relationship, He was constantly being beaten by his wife. He finally got up the nerve and he left her. There are homes for physically abused women to run to but where does an abused man go to? This is something not talked of often, it does occur & more often than people realize.  

Situation C is a close personal friend of mine... I have never known him to to even harm a fly, he is one of the very few people in my life I have ever known that is a truly none violent person and lived his life accordingly. Sadly he was trapped in an abusive relationship for years.

Thankfully he is not in that relationship anymore. Sadly the courts saw fit to give his ex wife child custody. It took a few more years & many court battles before the courts revoked her custody rights. The male now has custody rights, his children are strong and & healthy. His new wife is adorable and I think he has finally hit the jackpot this time.

Situation A. The male was a good friend of mine & I hated having to place him under arrest that arrest was My first step away from the brother hood of the street I grew up with and was a part of. It shames me that I had to arrest, a Man I had looked up to. I had, had respect for him before that day, but none there after.

I could not let him hurt those teens in the car... He really was not in his right mind.. I had asked him to stand down, I had asked him to step away, I asked him to not make me have to arrest him, He did not even recognize me, I am not even sure if he was capable of cognizant thought, looking into his blood shot glassy eyes, I was afraid one of the very few times in my life, that I was in fear for my safety.  

Thankfully my back up arrived and I was not forced to try to take him down alone, I f I had tried to take him down alone I probably would of had to resort to lethal force If the situation turned badly And with the size of  ****  would have stood at least a 90% chance he would of killed me, If I had tried to take him down alone... He stands head and shoulders above me,  at that time He even weighed more than I did. He was a couple of years older than me & he had taught most of the martial arts we knew..

no Natasha Any person is capable of losing it and any person could end up in a situation where they have just a split second to decide what course of action to take.. hopefully it never occurs but the sad truth is that it does.. the saddest part of all, is the women who will continue to go home to an abusive spouse.. lets not forget all the men who will do the same.. worst of all are the children who get caught in the middle...

Our world is not a perfect society, sadly to many people will resort to violence first and all else second. We are a horribly violent species or a violent plague if you prefer the matrix stand point.. A Virus, a scourge on this planet..





   

Natasha

Gone Fishing C U Tue. wrote:
Any person is capable of snapping and losing it even a couple in a relationship.  

Male and female on Robson street had been using some chemicals that reacted badly, the male got violent flipped out and took on a car, the car full of young frightened teens, this hulk of a male (6'2 medium to large muscular build approximately 225 - 250 Lbs

He put his fist through the car window, rocking the car side to side. Blood flowing down his hands he kept lashing out at random, the public walking past and the poor teens trapped in the car, this man had snapped... It took 4 of us to take him down AND 2 PAIRS OF HANDCUFFS TO RESTRAIN HIM. He broke the first pair put on him, I have never seen it done before, but I did that night.

The woman did not take kindly to her man being arrested and went off on the Officers arresting him. calming and settling her down was not that difficult. The problems arose a little time later, She had a knife and had gone off the dee pend she has slashed her wrist open from thumb to elbow.

Sadly once she had been settled down and sat down, none of the officers on the scene paid any attention to the young lass, she took advantage of the time to attempt suicide or to just cry for help in a strange way. She was taken in to police custody and then to the hospital for the help she needed, as for the man he was taken to hospital for assessment, then later to the police station for charges of assault, vandalism and a couple of others. The girl was never charged.

I have seen situations where a couple have lashed out at each other. Had it been the girl who had snapped and not the guy and if she had gone after him with a knife.
What you are saying Natasha is he should not strike her to defend himself ?

I have to concede in most relationships the chances of that happened are slim..

Situation B
MALE A. Has been f*cking his wife's, younger sister and the wife goes after him with a knife with the intention of killing him.. He strikes her once knocking her cold...

Who is at fault and what charges do you press ?

Situation C
Wife has been drinking and is intoxicated. Husband comes home from work, Wife demands more money, so she can go buy more alcohol, husband refuses to give her anymore money till she sobers up...

Wife proceeds to beat her husband with a stick. Should the man stand there and take it? Should he run away? Should he strike his wife and take the stick from her? Should he leave the house & call 911 then press charges of assault against his wife?

In situation C Husband was in an abusive relationship, He was constantly being beaten by his wife. He finally got up the nerve and he left her. There are homes for physically abused women to run to but where does an abused man go to? This is something not talked of often, it does occur & more often than people realize.  

Situation C is a close personal friend of mine... I have never known him to to even harm a fly, he is one of the very few people in my life I have ever known that is a truly none violent person and lived his life accordingly. Sadly he was trapped in an abusive relationship for years.

Thankfully he is not in that relationship anymore. Sadly the courts saw fit to give his ex wife child custody. It took a few more years & many court battles before the courts revoked her custody rights. The male now has custody rights, his children are strong and & healthy. His new wife is adorable and I think he has finally hit the jackpot this time.

Situation A. The male was a good friend of mine & I hated having to place him under arrest that arrest was My first step away from the brother hood of the street I grew up with and was a part of. It shames me that I had to arrest, a Man I had looked up to. I had, had respect for him before that day, but none there after.

I could not let him hurt those teens in the car... He really was not in his right mind.. I had asked him to stand down, I had asked him to step away, I asked him to not make me have to arrest him, He did not even recognize me, I am not even sure if he was capable of cognizant thought, looking into his blood shot glassy eyes, I was afraid one of the very few times in my life, that I was in fear for my safety.  

Thankfully my back up arrived and I was not forced to try to take him down alone, I f I had tried to take him down alone I probably would of had to resort to lethal force If the situation turned badly And with the size of  ****  would have stood at least a 90% chance he would of killed me, If I had tried to take him down alone... He stands head and shoulders above me,  at that time He even weighed more than I did. He was a couple of years older than me & he had taught most of the martial arts we knew..

no Natasha Any person is capable of losing it and any person could end up in a situation where they have just a split second to decide what course of action to take.. hopefully it never occurs but the sad truth is that it does.. the saddest part of all, is the women who will continue to go home to an abusive spouse.. lets not forget all the men who will do the same.. worst of all are the children who get caught in the middle...

Our world is not a perfect society, sadly to many people will resort to violence first and all else second. We are a horribly violent species or a violent plague if you prefer the matrix stand point.. A Virus, a scourge on this planet..



Ok first of all. I'm pressed for time so I'm not even going to attempt to read all that... sorry. I'll try to come back and read it all later. I will reply to the part I bolded (only because I saw my name as I was skimming through it)  =)

 Yes, any type of person is capable of loosing it at any given time. However, we were talking about relationships. Not random idiocracy at it's worst. And I'm pretty sure what got all this started was some females saying they would put a man first. Meaning above their children AND themselves. If a woman leaves an abusive relationship, then guess what? She did not put her man first. She put herself and her child(ren) first... as it should be. If you really do have that "Leave it to Beaver" lifestyle, then sure I can see the man coming first. but if you really think about it all this talk of men being first and what not is a waste of time. The gay/lesbian community is becomming more open and socially acceptable so many homes/relationships aren't so typical these days anyway. People can live different types of lifestyles while maintaining respect and equality.

 When it comes to hitting women. Unless you're a woman yourself, it's never ok. Now that doesn't mean you can't protect yourself as a man. But lets face it, most women can be easily overpowered by men. So why close handed hit her? Why not push her? Why not twist her arm? Why not just leave? No one said as a man you have to stay there. Most people can see a bad situation brewing up but most stay right there pushing buttons. The only I would ever say it's ok for a man to hit a woman is if his immediate life is in danger. Lets face it though, she's a woman. If you ever piss a woman so bad she wants to kill you, she'll wait til you're asleep and do it then.

 Well mister, you made me reply and it took longer than I expected...lol  I think Orik is rubbing off on me  ;)  I guess we'll see where this leads on Tuesday... have a safe and fun fishing trip  =)


 

 
 


 

Itsy Bitsy

Hmm, who said they would put men before themselves?

  As for putting men before others, I meant to put a positive loving relationship before others, not to put the man you're with despite how he treats you before others. I think it's important that you are healthy and happy with your relationship status (even it it means being single) before even considering having children. If you do not need a companion, that is fine. It is better to be alone (or be a single parent) than to be with someone who doesn't make you happy just because they want to raise kids with you. I don't think anyone should ever stay with someone "for the children".

P.C.

  Well said Itsy.  

If a person had the ability to see past the simple statement about putting your mate #1, they would also see that in a healthy relationship, you would be #1 in their eyes.  Nobody is giving more than they are getting.  Selfless vision is a two way street.  When such a couple has children, together, their common interest and investment would be their children.  Funny how everyone first hears that there is some kind of unrealistic sacrifice involved.  

Oh, it was me who said that, and I stick by it.
 And not men, just 'my' man.  
   
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Natasha

A person can't say, I would put a man first, then say, except when he's being abusive, as that's not putting a man first. It's putting yourself and your children first (as it should be). Saying "equality is the way to go" is not putting a man first either. He is your equal in the decision making process and every other way (as it should be). But what about in a life saving process? Who do you save? Your man or your child? From the day I found out I was pregnant, my answer has always been my child and it will always remain that way.

Natasha

Itsy Bitsy wrote:
 I don't think anyone should ever stay with someone "for the children".[/DIV]
 Agree, sadly lots of people (of both genders) do just that. A friend of mine told me his wife said to him their son was a mistake. Because of that she doesn't take care of him. The boy gets taken care of by my friend and the boys grandmother. My friend and the mom are still together, he just can't depend on her for anything when it comes to the child. When I asked why he stays with her. He said "because that's his mom". He says if he divorces her, the boy and her will never see each other. She's nothing but poison in that boys life anyway so boot her out is what I say. Better for the boy to be raised with a wonderful father only. A horrible mother will only complicate his life in the future. It's a shame too as he's such cute, sweet, smart kid  =) I'd looove the little bugger to be mine  =)

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