I don't know how many of these I'll get to do, but I'll try and provide updates whenever I can, chronicling Sakha's life in the USA.
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Life With The AmeryKanz Peoples
Episode 1:
Sakha has been adjusting well to the strange and mysterious ways of the tribe known as "AmeryKanz". She enjoys the ability to take a hot bath, night or day, as often as she wants. Sometimes 3 or 4 times a day, lol. We are currently negotiating with the Northwest Utility District for a business rate on our water usage (you can get a discount on any water usage above 500 million gallons a month).
Sakha watches TV, but it's all incomprehensible to her- Jerry Springer and Judge Judy make her shake her head with wonderment at the amazingly stupid and pathetic lives of the people who live in the Most Powerful Country On Earth. The infidelity and regular "Who's The Daddy" episodes on shows like Maury make her laugh and yell: "How can she not know who father is? 12 different guy! 12! Why she sleep with SO MANY?? Unbelievable!"
We found several Asian markets like "Ranch 99" where Sakha can forage for edible food. Hamburgers and hotdogs, the staple foods of the AmeryKanz, seem to upset her stomach, as does anything with cheese. Since AmeryKanz put cheese on practically everything, this radically limits her menu options. Sometimes the AmeryKanz will actually put two or more kinds of cheese on their food! Oh the Strangeness of this New Land. One of the foods I personally found in the frozen section of the Ranch 99 market was called "Beef Pizzle". Whatever it is, it's long and kind of tubular. I am not making this up. I don't know what Beef Pizzle is, I don't want to know what Beef Pizzle is, and I was secretly relieved when Sakha didn't buy any.
Sakha will sip two or three times from a Corona beer and then declare she's "had tooooooo much, oh too much, too much!". Personally I like a gal that gets hammered on less than a Dixie cup of beer, lol. She also makes the cutest face when tasting Chanpagne, which she insists to be "awful, bad tastes, really bad".
We had a wedding party / reception the other day and it was a lot of fun- about 30 AmeryKanz people came to celebrate with us. We all ate and drank, and the host was a friend of mine who is a high-ranking member of the Seattle Police Department. He has a very, very cool undercover police car at his disposal and he gave Sakha a ride around the yard with the siren blaring and the lights flashing. When he pulled up to where we were all waiting, she got out of the car and everyone clapped- she had a look on her face that was priceless. Those AmeryKanz sure are weird.
