Inappropriate Comments

Started by Lise, Apr 08 08 06:01

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Lise

Apr 08 08 06:01
I'm just wondering what would you ladies do about a guy who's making inappropriate comments to you and your fellow co-workers? For example, this guy that I know, (we'll call him Mr. Smith) comes around to our station frequently because he likes one of our co-worker a lot. Actually, you could say anyone that wears a skirt will attract his attention.

  The reason why I'm truly uncomfortable with this guy is because he:

  a) tells us dirty jokes that are highly offensive and NOT FUNNY

b) tells that co-worker that he hasn't been laid in ages, not since his wife got sick

c) asks my friend if she got something something last night (and using his fingers - I'll leave you to figure out what he did)

d) asks me if I'm tired because my hubby kept me up last night

  WTH? I'm so uncomfortable with this guy that I keep my distance even though he tries to be friendly. I know he's generally a good person but there are times when I felt like telling him to stop thinking with his ****.

  Well.... y'know what I mean. Penny for your thoughts?
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby.

P.C.

#1
Apr 08 08 06:38
Good morning Lise

  Has anyone (or better still...all who are offended) come right out and asked him to stop with all the sexual inuendo?  Maybe make it a point to go to him and say...."look....you're a nice guy and all, but your comments are out of line and make people uncomfortable.....maybe you could lighten up on your topic of conversation ?"

  If nobody has said anything....and if he is getting any kind of feedback (laughter...just to be polite or whatever) then I'm sure it will continue.  It doesn't have to be an ugly scene, but as that kind of behaviour isn't offensive to some.....he may just need it clarified that it is to you. (and whoever else is concerned)
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Lil Me

#2
Apr 08 08 07:31
   Or ignore him?  Get up and walk away without making eye contact?
 That's my tactic for dealing with "weirdo on the bus".    
"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it."  Robert Heinlein

Van

#3
Apr 08 08 08:30
Warn him not to do that anymore with a written and verbal warning. Give a written copy to your superior. If he does it again, your employer can be held responsible and you can use your imagination of what to do next.

  I am not sure who would be to blame, the guy with the ongoing comments? Or the co-workers that let it continue?
When the End comes, don't worry if your party shoes are clean or not. Just make sure you have them on!

Michel

#4
Apr 08 08 08:43
       

purelife

#5
Apr 08 08 08:49
I agree with PC and Lil Me.  Ignore and come together and tell his Superior.  Do you girls ignore him?

  What I would do is get a notebook and document his actions.  So, when he's right in front of you, say to him "I'm documenting this with the time and your words."  Get the rest of the girls to do so too.  

  If he's a nice guy like you say he is, he'll understand.  Nice guys to me don't act this way, unless the girls like it and give him "the signals."    

TehBorken

#6
Apr 08 08 08:59
  Lise wrote:
[div style="font-style: italic;"]d) asks me if I'm tired because my hubby kept me up last night[/div]  
The next time he does that, I'd scream loudly, "[span style="font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline;"]WHAT DID YOU JUST ASK ME?? ARE YOU ACTUALLY ASKING ME IF MY HUSBAND AND I HAD SEX  LAST NIGHT?!?!? IS THAT  WHAT YOU JUST ASKED ME?!?![/span] DO YOU KNOW THE MEANING OF 'SEXUAL HARASSMENT'???  DO THE WORDS 'HOSTILE WORKPLACE' MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?"


 
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

49er

#7
Apr 08 08 09:16
if this was happening in California and at a large or deep pocket institution you ladies are going to be rich.

Gopher

#8
Apr 08 08 10:41
1) What a disappointment! I thought that this was going to be a thread for us to use to post inappropriate comments.

  2) The next time he looks as though he's going to come out with such bilge have your tape recorder at the ready.  
A fool's paradise is better than none.

P.C.

#9
Apr 08 08 11:29
If it were me, I'd hold off on recordings and reportings, until I had tried talking to him first.  I think sometimes, this is often an unsophisticated attempt at flirting and he MAY be unaware that it is offensive to some.  I'd at least try that first.  If that doesn't do the trick, then I would tell him if he doesn't stop, you will take action.  
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Michel

#10
Apr 08 08 11:33
     

P.C.

#11
Apr 08 08 11:36
I'm afraid there's some truth to that Michel.  
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Lil Me

#12
Apr 08 08 11:55
Do men ever have problems with women making inappropriate comments in the office?  
"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it."  Robert Heinlein

P.C.

#13
Apr 08 08 11:57
lol....good point.  On the contrary, I think they try to inspire it.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Michel

#14
Apr 08 08 11:58
     
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