Real...or Not Real

[P.C.]

HA!  I knew you'd look.

  No....I'm not talking boobs here.

  I'm talking about social dilemmas.....'petty problems' or annoyances.  Are they real problems or just things that we have to view in a different way.  Is there always a clear right or wrong ?  (clear as mud ?)  OK....here's one.

  Do you think that a dinner invitation should include telling who else will be at the dinner ?  For example...some friends invited us for dinner the other night....saying  "yea...it's been a long time since we've gotten together".  I took this to mean that it would be the four of us.

    We went out and picked up a sinful dessert  that we have always enjoyed together in the past...(for 4).  When we get there, there are 3 other couples (one with their teenage kid, one with 3 dogs and 1 of the couples we had never met).  Don't get me wrong....I like meeting new people....I like large dinner parties.....I like kids....I like dogs....I even like spontaneity.....so it makes no sense to me, why I felt a little bit bugged.      

[Sportsdude]

so was this like the classic high school house party? You invite 4 people but 100 people show up because those 4 people asked more people who asked more people. etc?  

[P.C.]

No....the host had invited the intended guests.  Apparently at least one other couple was aware that WE were being invited.  

  So... if you invited 'Sally and Rob' and then 'Sandy and Rick'....would you say to Sandy and Rick..."We're getting together with Sally and Rob on Saturday night, we were hoping you would join us".  Or would you say...."We'd love to get together with you on Saturday night"....and say nothing about Sally and Rob being there also.

  Or would you say....."P.C.....why are you being so petty" [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="vny!://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/more/bigs/c008.gif" border=0]

[Sportsdude]

oh. I would say the party guests.

 

[Lise]

I usually ask (casually, of course!) who else is gonna be there and if I bring something to the party how many ppl can I help feed. Usually a subtle way of nosing in who's coming. Though with my friends, I usually know who's coming because it's just the usual bunch.

  My goodness, SD. Everything is high school related with you. First the relationship issue and now this? Priceless.

[Sportsdude]

hehehe.
true. lol
Its an easy comparison I guess.
 

[P.C.]

I think SD may be flattering me by suggesting I might still partake in highschool parties. [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="vny!://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/more/bigs/c018.gif" border=0]

  Some good points Lise.  I was actually at a dinner party once when a couple showed up (without knowing who else was going to be there) only to find out that another couple they didn't particularly care for (well actually they hated them)  Anyways....niether couple handled it very graciously and both couples left.   rofl  (now that's highschool)  

[Sportsdude]

ooooooh sounds like an SD family re-union!  

[Gopher]

I don't think you should have been necessarily informed of who would be there, but some indication of the numbers likely to be involved would seem to have been appropriate.  

[purelife]

I agree with Lise.  When I get invited to parties or get-togethers, I like to find out how many people are going to be there.  Some times, they tell me what kind of people are going to show up like there are so many couples and some are family and some are close friends, etc.  

When we get invited to family get-togethers, for example, yesterday's bbq, they told me who was going to be there by saying "so and so has to pick up so and so"
 

[P.C.]

OK....here's another one.

  Is it ever OK to ask an invited guest not to bring their pet ?  Would you (or have you)?

[Sportsdude]

I dunno that's a good one. If its family then its okay, imo. Guests not sure.

 

[Lise]

I've brought our little guy along but only when I make sure that it's ok with the other guests. That was before we had kids. Y'know, our little guy was my 'son' so he literally went everywhere with me. I dunno why. A dog makes wayyyy less mess than our kids.

  But for the most part, I think it's probably best to leave your little furballs behind, unless you get the OK from the host. You don't really want to be eating that good ole potatoe salad with furs sticking out. Them bits ain't bacon bits, y'all.

[P.C.]

I think a lot of people feel like that Lise.  Their pets are as much a part of their family as some peoples' kids.  

  I never worry about mess or a few muddy paw prints....that's just not an issue for me.....I worry more about my antisocial beast beating the bejeezers out of our guests pets.  So consequently I end up having to lock him in the bedroom for the whole evening, and I feel so badly for him.  I love my friends pets.....and I would never know how to ask them not bring them (sometimes.....not all the time, because I like to see them too).  Is there a way....or is it just rude?

[weird al]

P.C., just put all the pets in a pen together and throw in a piece of meat. Pure entertainment. sorta like DV...