Funnies thread - all welcome (if ye are farny!)

Started by Sarah_Belly_Poo, Jul 05 07 02:44

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Sarah_Belly_Poo

instead of me posting a billion threads of funny things I find and ending up with everyone hating me I thought I would start this. Post away funny ppl :-)

(I post things that makes things shoot out my nose when I see them)


 
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

tenkani

I must be crazy, because that just makes me want to cut myself.
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of Juan Valdez
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life
And I will dwell in the house of coffee forever.

Isis

*pulls switch blade out of back pocket...hands it to tenkani*
If you say "plz" because it's shorter than "please", then I'll say "no" because its shorter than "Yes"

tenkani

*stares at knife and frowns*

I hate it when they call my bluffs    :(
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of Juan Valdez
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life
And I will dwell in the house of coffee forever.

Isis

Don't be silly...

*stabs tenkani with blade...blade bends in half*

see...it's rubber!!

I would never want to help anyone with hurting themselves!
If you say "plz" because it's shorter than "please", then I'll say "no" because its shorter than "Yes"

tenkani

OMG I'M ALLERGIC TO RUBBER WTF HAVE YOU DOOOOONE!!!????

*dies*
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of Juan Valdez
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life
And I will dwell in the house of coffee forever.

Devil

Isis, we can finally be together in peace with that California dude out of the picture...*dances around dead tenkani's body laughing hysterically*......

Ghost of Tenkani

I knew it!!!

  Goodbye, cruel world,
Im leaving you today.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Goodbye all you people,
Theres nothing you can say,
To make me change my mind.
Goodbye.

  *waiting to be beamed up*

*tapping ghostly foot*

Devil

Yeah, umm...guess what? Those gates are shut to you! Come with me my amigo...hence my handle name..

*grabs tenk by the ankle*

Isis

Oh shatters...what have I done?

       It's a good thing that have special powers....one kiss from these Goddess' lips and all rubber allergic reactions (death included) can be cured!!

  *bends down and plants a one of a kind Goddess kiss on tenkani's lips*

  Sorry Devil....looks like you still have to share.

  If it's any consolation...you are my one and only Canadian lover!

 
If you say "plz" because it's shorter than "please", then I'll say "no" because its shorter than "Yes"

tenkani

Oh well.

If they don't want me up there I guess the Earth will do for now.

*rubbing ankle and shivering*

  Wait, Goddess, does this mean I owe you my life??
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of Juan Valdez
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life
And I will dwell in the house of coffee forever.

Devil

*laughs*...

Hey, I am a dirty Devil, not an evil Devil...I was just kidding about the whole bringing you to eternal burning and eyes gashed out by revelation demons tenk...

here, *passes ice tea to tenk* enjoy!

Although I don't like sharing Isis, it is worth it to keep our friendship.  

tenkani

*sniffs at tea suspiciously*

Is this a rubber-free beverage?
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of Juan Valdez
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life
And I will dwell in the house of coffee forever.

Isis

tenkani...such innocence....how little you understand.

  I am and always will be the all-mighty Goddess.  Everyone has forfeited their life to me...they just don't know it yet!  

  MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
If you say "plz" because it's shorter than "please", then I'll say "no" because its shorter than "Yes"

tenkani

Now I get it!

The gates were closed to me because I haven't finished my term of servitude to the Goddess yet!!

  *looking carefully at contract*

What does it mean by "until the seas dry up and the stars no longer shine in the sky"?    0_0
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of Juan Valdez
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life
And I will dwell in the house of coffee forever.