Current mood: Pasenya
I fear, for my future,
for the divine
many a lady is sublime
as my heart pounds
this ache runs deep
these wounds of the flesh they fester
my scaring runs deep
words said, can not be undone
actions taken, can not be undone
I repent for my actions and thoughts
repentance and prayer is a redeeming grace
Saviour for this flesh
renewed in spirit, soul and mind
washed and cleansed, making amends
this flesh, the body, slowly mends
to you, I have hurt
through anger or hate
to you, I have wounded
through my loneliness
this loss of integrity
so much to be ashamed of
so much to be sorry for
actions taken can not be changed
I am just a man weak to this flesh.
the lustful, thinking, the desirous sin
I can only repent and change my ways
a player of a man. Now seeks just one
one heart, one soul, one mind
but how and who do I choose
a woman of like, a woman of taste
filled with a redeeming grace.
to drag me asunder
out from under, this rock I hide
back to a life filled with love
to those I have harmed
I ask you to bear with me
I am a new man but old
old ways are not easy to change
some days, I lash out at those who love me
through my fear, my shame and my pain
my tongue is sharp and on edge
with this verbal tongue inside my head
I have caused wounds that have bled
another foot stuck in my mouth.
I am sorry, through my ignorance and fear
I lost, all I hold dear
I chased you away, because
all I wanted, was to lay in my grave
I laid down to die, all I could do was cry
you caught, my eye, now I am unsure.
just what to say, what I should do.
where do, I end, what do, I say, to begin anew
a second chance, at being friends
I have so few. When all I've done is run
standing tall and being a man, is a new change
Forgive me, I am new at all this
Learning to Love and to stand
to have gone from crawling to walking
no training wheels on me
I make mistakes and the shadow within it is grim
I fear the past, the hurt and the pain.
prior rejection, is my shame
I fear the scars, the wounds, that run deep.
to be a man, your man
I hope! I wish! and I shall pray
it is time to start from scratch
to take a chance and allow fear
to hold me back no more