Lost In the shadows of my mind

[Orik]

[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]Lost in the shadows of my mind [/span]
 
 God no longer exists, I am soulless, heartless & remorseless
 It matters not, to you. Yet I belive, but that belief is dieng
   I go to bed to dream of death and destruction.  
   To dream of slaughter & mayhem.  
   To slew & to slay, to be haunted by nightmares, to know despair.  
   Grim is the grave, hollow is my heart.  
   Terror is just a eyelids closing away.  
   Look to my dreams, you will see, the terrors that haunt me, still to this day.  
   If only you could see what my twisted dreams hold
   You to would know the fear of the grave.
   A silent night of freedom.
  Hope springs eternal.
   To never dream again.
  My hope is faded and waning.
   Why does one dream
  What is its purpose
 D.S.P
 
 
 [span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]
[/span]

[Orik]

[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]Forgotten in the sands of time[/span]
 
 The shadows are like a mist it comes and goes.
 I  wander this world looking for a intimate connection, that just never seems to  arrive.
 My dreams are haunted by a vision of beauty, I have met and yet never  met.
 I am at a loss to say what is there, it just is.
 Love I seek yet most just  smile and move on.
 I am a unlovable fellow, uncouth and belligerent, moody and  diseased.
 Blessed with a body the size of a small bear and a face of a Goat.  
 Ugly, I have been called. Obese and a freak am I, or so I have been told.
 My  dreams are real: Yet the woman for me, I just can not seem to find.
 I walk along  unnoticed, unseen, forgotten long before I am even gone.
 I look, yet I do not  see, I seek and have lost all I hold dear.
 love is the embers and ashes in my  heart, waiting to be fanned in to flame.     To that elusive lover. I have yet to discover. I see and hear. Yet deaf and blind am I.
 D.S.P  

[Orik]

[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"] Fear the Reaper[/span]

Laughing mirthlessly as he was cast out from hell
He lives, he lives, beware! Shake and quake dear reader
Fear the rising of the Reaper, the un-dead have arrived
Fear for your life and the lives of the ones you hold dear
Run and flee for your very lives from the demon
Even hell is to feared to keep

It is back with a plan of destruction bordering on hate.
Fear that terror we've caused and have a waked.
Beware for the Dark Reaper draws nigh

The Reaper has come. It is time for the innocent to run
In a sulphurous, odoriferous, cloud of smoke
A sound as loud as thunder, echoes like a gunshot across the land

The torn veil upon this world is ripped asunder
What is that putrid stench, like something dead
Is it something diseased or rotten with gangrene?

Damn what is that smell, What the hell was that sound?
Beware dear reader. Beware! for it is the rising of the Reaper.
In a clangorous cloud of smoke the sound as loud as thunder.
It dost appear it's malevolent eyes stare back at me.
Flee! Run for your very life. I seem to have fallen.
Worry not about me dear reader, it is much to...  

[Orik]

[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]leather and lace[/span]

all that leather and lace
woman you make me such a disgrace
how will i ever show my face
i just can not keep up this pace

the love in my heart burns
i can not say the words
my tongue gets all twisted
my heart starts to race
for you the woman i yearn

you the love of my life
all the world i live in
i hate to do such wrong
but i live and yearn
never do i seem to learn

by this shattered redeeming grace
how benevolent how asinine
i lost you to time
careless and thoughtless
i let you pass me bye

to afraid to show my disgrace
to scared to reveal the deeply scarred heart
to stand up and be a man,
sadly not this time, cue the band
walks away his head hung in shame
a man no more

 

[Orik]

[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"] Ode to a hamburger[/span]
[img style="width: 173px; height: 130px;" src="vny!://www.supersizedmeals.com/food/images/articles/20060924-Worlds_Largest_Hamburger_4.jpg"]

Oh sweet sweet relish
my mustard how i adore thee
the pickles and ketchup
lettuce not forget them lovely
sweet red and vine ripe plums
tomatoes i love the most of all
but my burger my love
you are not complete
until you are loaded with
lots and lots of meat..
alas my love you do me harm
clogged arteries
raised cholesterol
blood pressure is rising
beware the hamburger
beware..

   

[Orik]

[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"] Lacking[/span]

A lady i do lack
I have looked High
I have looked low
Under the rock
down by the bay
High on the cliff
over looking the sea
now i take stock
i lay me back down

where oh where may she be
that lady who's haunting me

I checked the park
on the street after dark
I walk out for a lark
I doff my hat as I pass you bye
Did you notice me

where oh where may she be
again not here that i can see
where is that lady who is haunting me

i hear the birdies and see the bees
but the heart is sadly aflutter
waiting for my lady to come bye
oh look how beautiful is that butterfly

two strangers in passing
is that you ? am i what you seek

take a chance on me
let me take a chance on you
if we never speak
how will we ever meet.

where oh where may she be
again not here that i can see
where is that lady who is haunting me

time is past i sigh
i lay me down and close the eyes
a chance to sleep
perchance to dream
of you my lady fair
tonight you are here beside me
if only in my dreams
   

[Orik]

[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]Time passes[/span]

sadly i find time is fleeting
i find myself effervescent and waining..
i am all dogged and dreamy..
it is that time and i am sad to say...
(though some cheers may resound)

that it is time for me to leave..
a time to sleep so i bid you all
a  good and pleasant evening
sleep tight

may none of Vancouver's plague of bed bugs bite..

sleep sound, dream well, laugh once or twice...
i bid you all one last and final good night...
blessings from the powers that be to one and all...
time for a slow decent into the darkness of fall

songs of the undertaker to guide my way
to that lone and silent grave
it is a short path to death...
i shall see you tomorrow
granted that i wake
though my dreams be dark fetid or foul ...

i sense tonight they be sweet and silent...
but it is past time for me to catch the train
to rinse my face in the wash basin.

to lay my head upon a pillow
to slip slowly into the abyss
into the chasm of them mind...
seek one never knows what they may find.
the dreams of the dreamer...
sleep well and wake...  

[Orik]

[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]Salad and Steak[/span]

company for a lovely late lunch
was beautiful and sublime
her words surreal and ideal...

the meal was grand... thought they may have mixed the plates...
the view was perfect. a lovely lady in my eyes.
soft yet elegant independent and strong.
softly lit from behind
a view of the mountains.. the trees.. the sea...
the salad was nice (a raspberry vinaigrette would hide the bitter after taste of the dandelion)

dark and twisted... no not her nor i
real and aloof, yet some very deep roots
feet on the ground. a head in the sky
she made me feel a tad pretentious
down to earth, laughter and fear (i saw it in your eyes)
the laughter was light
sighs a devils calling

oh yes this was most fun ..
the pain the intestacy (lol)...
a couple of beers
red dwarf and lister ... lol..

poor tourists listening in..

not knowing what to make
of  those two half  baked
slightly insane Vancouverites..
no blue berry pie but cheese cake galore...
sadly not this time ...to much to do..
next it will be on you ...

meeting new people is a fun and grand thing to do
the intimate setting is ideal... confidence and trust... a bargain made a deal is struck...

we will meet once again... given a little luck....

to all those who failed to diagnose the clues ...
 lol ! boo's to you...
to the one who did... aren't you glad we hid...
tucked in a corner not far from sight ...
near to prying ears... yet far enough away ...
we could sleep on a grave... (oh what those poor tourists must have heard)
silent nay not i... nor you... you are one interesting angel of death...
with out further adieu i say
my honour it was to meet you
death was a pleasure....
peace be unto you...  

[Orik]

[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]silence[/span]
the nightmares the screams...
you will never know
the things i have done.
or the demons i hold...
is their hope for redemption....

to be redeemed redeeming
freed by confession
turmoil repentance
facileness  

[Orik]

Silence

[img style="width: 273px; height: 203px;" src="vny!://fatman.lightstar1.com/downloads/Silence.jpg"]


Silence

my life and my tears
i never could pass that final test
 
what do i lack
integrity

what do i have
deception
misrepresentation
lies

who was i
no one
 
not enough
to much
to little
 
maybe on some other plain of existence
 
will i find
the elusive dream
to know
love

freedom from
a shattered heart
torn & destroyed
falling apart
 

single

silent

alone

always
 [img style="width: 321px; height: 212px;" src="vny!://www.borut.com/borut/gallery/silence.gif"]

[Orik]

[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]Do you believe[/span]

Do you believe in heaven and hell.
What does death hold.
Is it naught but a tombstone and worms

as your flesh slowly rots in the grave
the maggots devour your flesh
as seasons change as time passes
all are left in one constant state slowly dieing
if you are lucky friends remember and are crying

so what is the mystery of the grave
does the soul live on
are we doomed to live this fleshly life and know no more
damned to decompose in everlasting repose
or will we wake in heaven at a gigantic clam bake

will we be born again
until we get it right
or am i just to uptight

just what is in the mystery of the grave
one needs to die to learn the answer
yet one wishes never to find out

if you were immortal
how long would you last
before you went insane
as your friends and family die and pass on
you are left standing alone

on a hill overlooking the sea
spread my ashes and let me be
one day i will know the answer
to that mystery of the grave

i just hope it will not be today...

 

[Orik]

 [span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]Tombstones[/span]

a time to die...
death is a illusion
a dream is the only heaven
 breath the only hell
darkness everlasting abounds
welcomed and unsound
sleep to rest is desired or hated
sorrow knows no bounds with held
unknown soon to be forgotten
tombstones

ever lasting rest
final designation
death    

[Orik]

[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]Escape For Freedom[/span]

Here i sit
all tired and sore
my life my battles
the tally is counted
one two three four
heaven knows how many more
the battle ground is all scared and a mess
the pain the sorrow
this morass the broken bodies
the red the dark chartreuse bone marow
bloody remains all over the place
another day another dollar
working defenseless
tax man tax man
the slave is i but they know best
starvation wages so little left
it is my turn to be bereft
what does tomorrow hold
more more of the same
so very tired
my dreams my dreams
are empty and hollow
i want to die
i want to escape
heaven knows
maybe tomorrow...  

[Orik]

[span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"]"sleep well and wake"[/span]

so very tired.
why suicide why .
the race lost.
time to sleep will one awake .
untill tomorrow, if tommorrow comes.
we will speak some more if i wake
we will talk if i wake
if i do not awake
i'll see what thier's to see
or not to see
untill i awake
i shall dream a dream of
sleep death & rebirth
will you wake
will i wake
untill i do
Death.  

[Orik]

 Face buried in the pillow
 tears stream slowly off the chin
 one by one they fall
 misery, depression, sadness on end.
 grief just wont let me be
 
 I fall, I fail, I flail, trying to keep my head
 I feel often, I would be better off dead.
 Yet the fear of the grave of a paupers funeral leaves me be
 I draw a breath one two three
 
 someone is knocking at the door
 ignored and unanswered
 I leave it alone as always
 Last week It was some crack head
 offering me money to let him in
 f*ck off go away my answer to him
 sighs gotta love my hood
 
 wandering down this filthy hallway
 vomit stains on the walls
 cigarette burns on the floor  
 The smell of piss in the stairs
 the ammonia in the hall
 Damn look at that some guy
 wrote with his shit
 all over the elevator walls.
 
 gotta love this ghetto right
 some hooker shooting up outside my door
 sighs. yeah gotta love the ghetto right out side my door.
 
 just last week my house was allover the news
 some poor woman beaten almost to death
 some guy from the second floor
 accused and arrested for this heinous crime
 that is if he really is guilty
 and the cops aren't just making a easy case
 the guys a little dim, a bit slow
 if you know what I mean.
 yeah I love this ghetto
 
 for this they charge me 690 a month
 gotta love my full 420 square feet
 1 bedroom one bathroom one kitchen
 oh yes don't forget that concrete balcony
 3 feet wide by 4 feet long
 sighs for this I work 9 hrs a day
 and pay my taxes and i wonder Olympics yeah right
 what a waste what is it 400 million spent on a highway
 but new government job club's not one do I see
 education job training social housing f*ck me
 where is it? yeah way to go
 yeah I love my country
 just not today
 
 anyone else just want to step out and away
 to enter a monks cloister
 for a month maybe three
 perhaps all eternity
 I gotta get away, I gotta escape
 sighs if only I could actually afford the price
 to escape to leave to get away
 for a day or even three
 I need to escape this insanity
 
 it is ever so tempting to place pepper on my shoulder
 harness in hand and just walk away leave it all behind
 anyone want a computer and a tv that has great sound
 the picture just no longer works.
 
 I am tired
 I am depressed
 I hate me today
 I hate my hood even more
 today I saw a girl not yet 16
 smoking crack and pulling dates
 what a great ghetto
 
 gotta love this town
 Vancouver's East-side
 what a place  
 I just want to f*cking scream.
 shit what a mess
 
 peace to all I've said my bit
 love em or hate em they are people too.
 poor things to think I used to use too.
 Aug. will be 14 years crack cocaine free
 
 no, no cake for me
 I don't celebrate that way.
 I only need to look around
 to remind me why I stay clean
 every day, same after same
 
 Man I need a raise a buck and a quarter
 will just cover the notice I got
 my rent is going up again
 sighs gotta love the ghetto
 
 gotta love the hood
 my sweet, disgusting, filthy
 shitty, stinky, hole
 my home sweet home.
 
 Anyone else want to go sailing
 Ah, I can see it now
 the wide open sea before me
 the cesspool of Vancouver far behind
 
 I think I would be tempted
 to just keep going, to never look back
 no more shitty, just to keep going
 Till I reached some far foreign shore
 
 Alas I lack the means
 No boat, No passport, No money to spare.
 sighs but I can still have my day dreams.
 For now those are still free.
 
 [font color="midnightblue" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"][span class="spnMessageText" id="msg"][img]vny!://www.discoveralltheworld.com/forum/icon_smile_big.gif" alt="" title="" align="middle" border="0" height="15" width="15"]
 donations to the escape from Vancouver fund... can be sent to...  

or you can write to me

Orik_Basher(AT)shaw(DOT)ca[/span][/font]