LOL, Nigerian Scams - a true gem

Started by TehBorken, Oct 19 06 07:51

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TehBorken

 Read carefully, if it doesn't make you laugh, it should. Especially the part about the "prostates". I've bolded some of the funnier words and [span style="font-weight: bold; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);"]done this[/span] for my comments. Really, anyone that falls for this must have a serious head injury.
[hr style="width: 100%; height: 2px;"]FROM OFFICE OF REV.FR RICHARD DAVID
DIRECTOR SPECIAL DUTIES,UNITED NATIONS
ORGANIZATIONS IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE
INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND WORLD
BANK FACT-FINDING & SPECIAL DUTIES OFFICE
DAKAR,SENEGAL.
EMAIL:[email protected]
Dear Friend.
I am Rev. Fr.Richard David. A senior staff with the World Bank fact finding & special duties office.I am writing you this letter based on the fact that cool penny is better than millions of dollars means it's better for one to live and die poor honest man than a rich dishonest one. [span style="font-weight: bold; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);"](Cool penny?? WTF???)[/span]
I and the Chief security officer (CSO) of this organization and have arranged with an officer in the computer section in person of Engineer Joseph Cliff to bring out part of your total pending payment with reference number (LEM-05-371) amounting to US$10 million. Why we did this is because according to information gathered from the Bank¢s/security computer, you have been waiting for a long time to receive this payment without success.
As I found out that you have almost met all the statutory requirements in respect of your pending payment. The problem we feel you are having is that of interest groups. A lot of people are interested in your payment and those people are merely doing paper works with you and that explains why you receive different kinds of untrue fax and phone messages from different people everyday.
Also we found out that some of the officials of the prostates have been extorting a lot of money from you with the pretext of helping you receive your money. I can assure you this will keep happening if you do not do away with those officers. [span style="font-weight: bold; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);"](I have to kill them??) [/span]For security reasons you do not have to tell anybody that your have your payment on the way until the payment gets to you.
The said payment is been arranged in a security-proof box weighing 75kg. In order to get this box shipped to you I and the (COS) Yesterday went to this four courier companies DHL, Ems, FedEx and Ups to make arrangements on how to get the box shipped to you by courier, but to no avail the above courier companies all made us to understand that they have to open the box for inspection by the customs before shipment.
This is something we want to avoid because this box is been padded with synthetic nylon [span style="font-weight: bold; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);"](Ummm, all nylon is "synthetic")[/span] and to open it you will have to cut the pad before you will meet the button that you will press to open the dial code-lock. There is no way you can open the box and be able to close it again because it was padded with machine.
We told the courier services that the box contained film materials and when open will spoil the materials. [span style="font-weight: bold; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);"](Yeah I bet that fooled 'em.) [/span] <N:B> we did not declare money because courier does not carry money.Today a friend of mine who is diplomat disclosed to me that there is a security courier service company that is specialized in sending diplomatic materials and information from one country to another, which also has diplomatic immunity and consignment such as this cannot be checked by any customs anywhere in the world. [span style="font-weight: bold; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);"]<---LOL!!![/span]
I have therefore met the official of the security courier service and concluded shipping arrangement with them, which they will commence as soon as I have your go ahead order. The diplomat who will be bring in this consignment to you is an expact and has been in this line of work for many years now so we have Notting to worry about.
After all arrangements we have concluded that you must donate Five Hundred Thousand United States dollars (US$500,000.00) to any charity organization I designate as soon as you receive your money. To this effect, you will send to us a promissory note for the donation along with your address where you will like the box to be delivered to by courier.
Please maintain topmost secrecy as it may cause a lot of problems if found out that we are using this way to help you. You are advised not inform anyone about this until you received your money. Am helping you on this because something in me is tells me that you are an honest person. When you conclude this and you send our promise, we will help to ship the final part of your money to you.May God be with you as i wait for your response either through Fax or Email:
Feel free to call me if you will like us to discuses more on this.
   
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.