Sex, booze and boats
St. Louis Post Dispatch
Akers, MO
It's Saturday afternoon on the Current River, and the Flying W is living up to
its name.
Daring jumpers soar feet-first from two bluffs at the popular gathering spot,
splashing down just a few feet from passing canoes.
On the opposite gravel bar, a chorus of tipsy floaters whoop, holler and drink.
One man dips his water cannon in the river to douse passing paddlers.
It's the kind of loud party scene Dave Schrader would just as soon avoid on his
float trips. For Schrader, 42, of Salem, Mo., the Current River has grown too
popular on summer Saturdays and holidays between Memorial Day and Labor Day.
Too many people. Too much noise. And too much rowdiness.
"Mainly," Schrader says while paddling with his family, "what I think a lot of
it is, is rude behavior. A lot of these people come down here just to blow off
some steam. You know, they get loud, do their own thing. That's fine, as long
as they're not rude about it."
On just about any summer Saturday afternoon, stretches of the Current River and
many other Ozark streams become bustling party zones for sunbaked floaters who
flock to the cool, clear waters for the quintessential Missouri getaway.
Those good times too often involve underage drinking; women exposing their
breasts for Mardi Gras beads; and language that would make a sailor blush,
according to top officials at the Ozark National Scenic Riverways, the Missouri
State Water Patrol and the state's Department of Conservation.
"It's a serious problem," said Col. Rad Talburt, chief of the Water Patrol. "On
the weekends, you aren't going to enjoy the river unless you are a partier and
that's what you do."
Because families with young children, church groups and others use the same
glassy streams, the pockets of rowdy behavior are rubbing some people the wrong
way, Talburt said. Nearby property owners have complained about trespassing and
other problems.
Some locals are amused. Others accuse visitors from St. Louis and Southern
Illinois of engaging in behavior they'd never dare back home.
Park Superintendent Noel Poe said he began hearing complaints about the Current
and Jacks Fork rivers shortly after he arrived in October 2002.
The Park Service has been urged to ban alcohol from the rivers, but instead has
focused on controlling flagrant abuse. Poe said that could mean prohibiting
so-called "beer bongs" - a plastic hose attached to a funnel - and regulating
cooler sizes.
Bill Terry, supervisory ranger for the park's north district, said officials
are taking a zero-tolerance stance against many forms of rowdiness, from vulgar
language to underage drinking to the colorful beads that contribute to what he
calls the "Mardi Gras syndrome."
Rangers wrote 1,336 citations and made 23 arrests in 2005, compared with 472
tickets and 12 arrests in 2000.
"The numbers are going up, because we are putting all the manpower to it,"
Terry said. "And I know our people are convinced that's the secret. We just
have to keep the pressure on."
Talburt, of the Water Patrol, said the Current and Jacks Fork are among the
most heavily patrolled rivers in the state. National Park Service officials say
that because of added vigilance, complaints have dropped dramatically over
three years.
Within the Ozark National Scenic Riverways, the Park Service can write a
disorderly conduct citation to a woman who exposes her breasts. The Water
Patrol cannot; Talburt said there is talk of seeking legislation on it next
year.
McDonald County, in southwest Missouri, passed a local measure last year
forbidding women from showing their breasts along the Elk River and its
tributaries.
The Missouri Department of Conservation plans to study behavior on a stretch of
the Current River between Akers Ferry and Cedargrove next summer, said Tom
Treiman, a natural resource economist based in Columbia, Mo. The survey will
try to gauge river use and attitudes about behavior, and seek remedies to
problems.
"Part of the issue here is, exactly how would you define an obnoxious floater?"
Treiman said. "It is in the mind of the beholder."
Mostly G-rated
During five weekends this summer, the Post-Dispatch visited popular stretches
of the Current River and Huzzah Creek where it meets the Meramec River near
Steelville, Mo., for a firsthand look.
If the forested rivers were a movie, the vast majority would have been suited
to general audiences: majestic bluffs, icy springs and countless acres of lush
forest. But it could shift to PG-rated - even an R rating in a couple instances
- because of loud, salty language and partial nudity along the river where
drinking was heaviest.
Anticipating heavy crowds on the Current and Jacks Fork rivers, the Water
Patrol stepped up its presence the weekend after the Fourth of July. Park
Service rangers did, too.
The 10 Water Patrol officers wrote 66 citations over those two days, Talburt
said. The Park Service logged three arrests and wrote 77 citations. The most
common offenses were possession of a controlled substance; minors in possession
of alcohol;, and possession of glass bottles.
Travis Cripps, 22, of Salem, Ill., comes to the Current River every year and
said he couldn't recall seeing so many officers. Wearing a mullet wig and Mardi
Gras beads, Cripps said police leave people alone unless "you're blatantly
being an idiot."
"I'll tell you what," he said, "in all honesty, we have a group of 22 guys. I
wouldn't say we're behaving ourselves, but we're not doing anything that's
wrong. We're having a good time."
Further downstream, Jeff Loraine, 35, had a verbal confrontation with a lone
canoeist who had lobbed an obscenity toward him and his family. Loraine, his
wife, Ann, and two children pulled their canoe and kayaks off the river to cool
off and let the mouthy floater pass.
"Most of the people I float with in the 20 years I have been coming down here
have not been like that," said Loraine, of Wentzville. "I have never seen that
type of behavior."
Dave Schrader and his family finally found a secluded gravel bar to put down
for the night - two hours after passing the Flying W, which is named for a
family farm. Don't expect to see the Schraders on the river on summer Saturdays
to come.
Other rivers the same
The rowdiness is hardly confined to one or two rivers. Talburt and others said
it spills over to the Black, Elk, Niangua, Meramec and others in Missouri, and
is showing up nationally.
Oklahoma is studying whether it can ban beer from the Illinois River and two of
its tributaries. The City Council in New Braunfels, Texas, just banned beer
bongs from the Comal and Guadalupe rivers and is considering a ban on Jell-O
liquor shots.
"They're having these problems all over the United States," said Ed Fite,
administrator of the Oklahoma Scenic Rivers Commission.
On the Saturday just before the Fourth of July, the stretch of the Huzzah Creek
near the Meramec River was teeming with rafts, canoes and the occasional kayak.
On some summer Saturdays, you could almost walk from one bank to the other
without ever touching water, said Sgt. Jeff Bair of the Water Patrol.
It's for good reason: The last couple miles of the Huzzah and the short stretch
of the Meramec River beyond it contain traffic from five different outfitters.
From a heavily wooded perch overlooking one of the central Missouri stream's
popular gravel bars, Bair and other officers look for signs of illegal drug
use, underage drinking and littering.
Bair said the Mardi Gras-style ogling and bead-throwing have led to fights. "I
don't know how many times we have been out here and actually just seen a fight
start right in front of us," he said.
Fuses become exceptionally short when temperatures soar.
"You know, when you put a thousand drunks on the river, there's going to be
some mouthy ones there that say the wrong thing at the wrong time," he
explained.
Mark Chiodini of St. Louis County pointed to one group and questioned its
choice of water toys - a six-foot inflatable penis.
"Tell me that's appropriate," said Chiodini, who sipped a Dr Pepper along the
banks of the Huzzah as the crowds floated past. "I have been coming down here
for a long time. Twenty years ago, you wouldn't have seen that."
Elsewhere, small groups congregated on gravel bars to hoist the plastic funnels
of their beer bongs skyward. One group handed out Jell-O shots to others on the
river. To steady chants of "Jump!" and an occasional "Take your pants off!"
young men crept up a tree before plunging into the chilly river.
Further down the river, Erin Ryan, 24, of Glasgow Village, described the float
streams as a place to "cut loose, relax, let off some steam" but "definitely
for mature audiences."
She said families with young children should probably steer clear of the
Saturday scene. "Do you bring a 10-year-old to a strip club or Party Cove or a
casino?" she said. "Why would you bring them to a place where they are going to
see body parts?"
Like a day at the beach
Floating and paddling have gone from a sport of mostly outdoorsmen and Scout
troops to the Midwest equivalent of a day at the beach. The number of
outfitters has grown to about 160 statewide, says Gene Maggard, president of
the Missouri Canoe and Floaters Association.
Missouri ranks in the top handful of states for popularity of its float
streams, Maggard said. Others include Michigan, Florida and Pennsylvania.
About 42 million people go paddling in U.S. rivers, lakes and coastal waters
each year, said Matt Menashes, executive director of the Professional
Paddlesport Association. Despite the growing popularity, most sellers and
renters of watercraft remain mom-and-pop seasonal businesses.
Missouri Tourism Director John Robinson says the state's spring-fed rivers are
"tremendous attractions," drawing about 10 million people a year for camping,
floating, hiking or picnicking.
Robinson said many things can dampen the public's enjoyment of Missouri's
spectacular rivers - littering, overuse and rowdiness. Overzealous policing can
drive people away, too, he said.
"My belief is if we don't keep those rivers in particular in as pristine a
condition as we can, then they aren't worth coming to," he said.
Outfitters say they try to educate floaters about the laws - and the increased
presence of law enforcers. They suggest that most of the problems are caused by
a relative few.
Robert "Bear" Bass, owner of Ozark Outdoors, near Leasburg, began offering a
family-friendly float trip a couple of years ago to minimize conflicts with
partiers. Bass also encourages people to use off-peak times or weekdays to
avoid the crowds.
He said bus drivers give floaters a rundown on the river rules, and each
boarding pass has a written warning against littering, public nudity or
bringing glass. He doesn't sell alcohol, shot glasses or Mardi Gras beads in
his store. Despite some initial misgivings, Bass now credits the stepped-up
patrols with preventing a "party cove" atmosphere.
Said Maggard, who owns Akers Ferry Canoe Rental, "We do quite a bit of briefing
before the float actually occurs." He added, "We make trips to the campground
and inform them. Really, we believe that it's visibility of law enforcement
that really keeps people in line."
[img style="FONT-SIZE: 12px" height=210 alt="" src="vny!://images.stltoday.com/stltoday/resources/floatbig729.jpg" width=315 border=0 size="1"]
A group of floaters stops July 1 along a sandbar in the Huzzah creek to see who can drink the beer the fastest from a "beer bong" Authorities are cracking down on underage drinking on Missouri's streams.
More pics right here:
[A href="vny!://rebekahraleigh.com/slide-test/slidshow.html"]vny!://rebekahraleigh.com/slide-test/slidshow.html[/A]
