kits needs some help!

[kits]

I posted this on DV too, but I do know that there is a lot of Vancouverites out here on DS.

[TABLE id=Table2 style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: midnightblue; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=10 width="100%" border=0][TBODY][TR bgColor=gainsboro][TD style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold" vAlign=top align=left]kits [/TD][TD colSpan=2][img title="" height=15 alt="" hspace=3 src="vny!://www.discovervancouver.com/forum/icon_posticon.gif" width=15 border=0] [FONT size=1]Posted - 2/15/2006 3:13:16 PM[/FONT] [HR noShade SIZE=1]Ok, I have a friend who has been in our group of buddies for about 6 years.  He is always getting hilself into fights and has always had a pretty short fuse, but nothing to major to really send out alarms.  recently (past 3 months) he has actually picked a few fights while out with co-workers, ending up beating his opponent to a bloody mass....  going way to far these days.  (Keeping in mind, we are a group of young professionals, not a bunch of hoodlums)
All this info aside that I have on him....  
this last weekend, he was caught pushing his girlfriend around.  She is also a friend of mine, and i have talked to her since.  This is the first time that this has ever happend (and I believe her)...  he has now come to her to ask obout help.

So my question is this:

Does anyone out here have experience dealing with local counselors, or therapists?  Anyone they can recomend?

This guys problems are far beyond something that I can responsiblly help with, but he is genuinely looking for help.

Any ideas would be great. [/TD][/TR][/TBODY][/TABLE]

[kevlar]

Hey Kits,[/DIV]I had the same problem, minus the girlfreind that I know of. Co-worker, friend, had short man complex. Ex Navy, ex boxer guy who was a real hot head. We had to kick him off our baseball and volleyball team and stopped hanging around him altogether, all this after about 10 years. Just couldn't deal with him anymore. I actually got into 2 physical fights with him and thats totally not my style. I know that he's in councelling and actually has a guy that is his sponsor that he can call at anytime when he feels aggressive. If you want, I'll try to get a number from him.. You can get my email addy from the Pure one.

[purelife]

You can get my email addy from the Pure one.

You guys can also PM each other.   Sorry kits.  I wish that I could help.  I'm sure that there are support groups out there.

[Legion]

Why you dirty cross-posting mofo

[kevlar]

Thanks purelife. I didn't even realize this forum had that feature.. [img alt=worship.gif src="vny!://jm.g.free.fr/smileys/cute_smileys/worship.gif" border=0]very cool.

[Legion]

I PMed someone awhile back but I think it got lost in the system.

[kits]

thanks kevlar.

I will look into it tomorrow.. I have to run now though.

[Legion]

The important thing is not to panic.

[tenkani]

I have no advice to give, but good luck to you and your friend.

[Tor Johnston]

When a guy starts pushing his girl around, he is in need of some angermanagement skills. Otherwise the situation tends to escalate, and itlooks like your friend wants to stop it before it progresses.
The City of Van should have some social programs set up and if yourfriend isn't worried about being stigmatized by attending a fewseminars or one-on-ones, he will be able to learn to identify thetriggers.

[Brent]

I don't think guys fighting guys is a big deal, we've all known the type growing up. But, when a guy hurts ladies/weaker people on purpose then it's an emerging trait. Hope the guy can learn to control it with sedatives,counselling.  The girl should only give him one chance!  Good luck helping out, Kits.

[Tor Johnston]

One chance only. I actually heard a woman say her husband only hit her"when she deserved it", and that wasn't a line from a film. I got fromthat if a woman allows it, the guy is empowered to repeat it.

[P.C.]

Good perspective....that's EXACTLY the way it is.

[Sportsdude]

Number 1 Rule in Relationships [/DIV]NEVER HIT YOUR PARTNER.Period.

[P.C.]

Well put sportsdude.....it's not OK from either side.