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Author Topic: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes  (Read 16178 times)

weird al

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #15 on: Mar 25 06 09:34 »
 [TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" align=center border=0] [TBODY] [TR] [TD vAlign=top][SPAN class=linkheadline]Four Women's Obsessions[/A][/SPAN]
[img height=2 src="http://www.madblast.com/i/transparent.gif" width=1]
[img height=5 src="http://www.madblast.com/i/bar_show_title2.gif" width=519][SPAN class=text2]  [/SPAN]
[img height=5 src="http://www.madblast.com/i/transparent.gif" width=1]
[TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=4 align=right border=0] [TBODY] [TR] [TD align=middle]
[/TD][/TR][/TBODY][/TABLE][SPAN class=textstory][SPAN class=text3]A Licensed Counselor was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children... "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turns to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving."[/SPAN]


[/SPAN][/TD][/TR][/TBODY][/TABLE]  

P.C.

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #16 on: Mar 25 06 10:15 »
  [FONT style="FONT-SIZE: 11px; FONT-FAMILY: tahoma,sans-serif"][FONT id=role_document face=Arial color=#000000 size=2][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" size=3]A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks.[/FONT]

 [DIV style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px; rem_rem_PADDING-LEFT: 5px; rem_rem_MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; rem_rem_BORDER-LEFT: #a0c6e5 2px solid"]  [DIV class=replbq style="rem_rem_PADDING-LEFT: 5px; rem_rem_MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; rem_rem_BORDER-LEFT: #1010ff 2px solid"]   [FONT face="Comic Sans MS" size=3]He wanted a truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town.[/FONT]

 [FONT face="Comic Sans MS" size=3]He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.[/FONT]

 [FONT face="Comic Sans MS" size=3]"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in just a few seconds. Nothing else will do. My birthday is coming up so surprise me!"[/FONT]

 [FONT face="Comic Sans MS" size=3]He did just that. For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.[/FONT]

 [FONT face="Comic Sans MS" size=3]Nobody has seen or heard from him since.[/FONT]

[/DIV][/DIV][/FONT][/DIV][/DIV][/DIV][/FONT][/DIV]
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Orca

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #17 on: Aug 24 06 12:59 »
Jamaican Math Test


A Jamaican man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he  passes a little math test.

Here is your first question, the foreman said, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?"  The Jamaican says, "Dat is easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks

"Ave you got no brain?  Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Jamaican.

"Fair enough," says the boss.  "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."

The Jamaican stares into space for a while, then picks up the  picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.  "Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

"Each of da trees is dirty now.  So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree.  Dat is 99."

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Jamaican, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

The Jamaican stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go.  One hundred."

The boss looks at the attempt.  "You must be nuts if you think that  represents a hundred!"

The Jamaican leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree.  So now you got dirty tree and a turd,
dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred."

"So, when I start?"

Orca

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #18 on: Aug 24 06 01:00 »
THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS IN VEGAS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.

THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING, DID YOU?

49er

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #19 on: Aug 24 06 03:57 »
 To celebrate their 50th anniversary, a husband booked a round of
 golf for his wife and himself on a trip to famous old St. Andrews' Golf Course
 in Scotland.

 On the third tee, the husband hesitated in teeing off and turned slowly to his
 wife and said contritely, "Darling, I have to confess something. Twenty years
 ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me."

 His wife was hurt but said, "Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have
 now is far   more valuable. I forgive you."

They embraced and kissed.

On the 17th tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted
out again, "I'm sorry, darling, I've been so conscience-stricken since you
told me, but since we're being honest with each other, I have something to
tell you also.  

  Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation; I was a man before I met you.

I hope you can forgive me."

The husband froze at the top of his back swing, then threw a fit! He slammed
the driver into the ground, kicked the ball into the woods, stormed off the
 tee, pushed the golf cart over on its side, broke the rest of his clubs one by
one, then started on his wife's clubs.

He screamed and ranted, "You liar...you cheat ... you despicable deceiver! How
could you? I trusted you with all my heart and soul??...and all these years
you've been playing off the Ladies' Tees?!"



49er

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #20 on: Aug 24 06 05:29 »
[PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]The Four Cats (a Civil Service joke)[?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"][o:p] [/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]Four men were bragging how smart their cats were.[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]The first man was an Engineer, the second was an accountant, the third[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]was a Chemist and the fourth was a government emplooyee.[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]To show off, the Engineer called his pet "T-square, do your stuff."[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle.[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]But the Accountant said his cat could do better.[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]He called his cat and said "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]Spreadsheet went into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]Everyone agreed that was good.[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]But the Chemist said his cat could do better.[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]He called his cat and said "Measure, do your stuff."[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]10 ounce from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]without spilling a drop.[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]Everyone agreed that was pretty good.[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]Then the three ment turned to the government employee and asked, "What[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]can your cat do?"[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]The government employee called his cat and said "Coffee Break, do your[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]stuff."[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]Coffee Break jumped to his feet.....ate the cookies......drank the[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]milk........pooped on the paper......screwed the other three[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]cats........claimed he injured his back while doing so......filed a[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]grievance report for unsafe working conditions.........put in for[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]Workers Compensation........and went home for the rest of the day on[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][PRE style="lineh-eight: 14.4pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black"]sick leave.[o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/PRE][!-- toctype = X-unknown --][!-- toctype = text --][!-- text --][!-- END TOC --]  

Gopher

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #21 on: Jun 08 10 09:38 »
   
A fool's paradise is better than none.

DDD

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #22 on: Jun 09 10 02:31 »
 [P style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" class=MsoNormal align=center][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Bradley Hand ITC'; COLOR: #bf005f; FONT-SIZE: 16pt"]Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?”[/SPAN][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Bradley Hand ITC'; FONT-SIZE: 16pt"][/SPAN]

 [P style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" class=MsoNormal align=center][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Bradley Hand ITC'; COLOR: #bf005f; FONT-SIZE: 16pt"]
[SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Bradley Hand ITC'"]The Princess said “NO!”[/SPAN][/SPAN]

 [P style="TEXT-ALIGN: center" class=MsoNormal align=center][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Bradley Hand ITC'; COLOR: #bf005f; FONT-SIZE: 16pt"]
[SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Bradley Hand ITC'"]And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went boating & fishing and hunting and played golf & baseball and dated women half his age and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.[/SPAN]

[SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Bradley Hand ITC'"]The End[/SPAN]
[/SPAN]

God is great, beer is good and people are crazy!

Itsy Bitsy

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #23 on: Jun 09 10 04:03 »
 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Helvetica','sans-serif'"]I`ll handle this...I speak blonde[/SPAN]

 [P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'"]
 [/SPAN]

[SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"]A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO [?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /][st1:City w:st="on"][st1:place w:st="on"]TORONTO[/st1:place][/st1:City],
WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE
FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO
THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.
 
SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE
 PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE
BACK..

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M
BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO [st1:City w:st="on"][st1:place w:st="on"]TORONTO[/st1:place][/st1:City] AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE
COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A
BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY
, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE
AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY
SHE [st1:place w:st="on"]W ILL[/st1:place] HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M
BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO [st1:City w:st="on"][st1:place w:st="on"]TORONTO[/st1:place][/st1:City] AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE
PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO
ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A
BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK
BLONDE."

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND
WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS
UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY..

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT
ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE
WITHOUT ANY FUSS.

"I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO [st1:City w:st="on"][st1:place w:st="on"]TORONTO[/st1:place][/st1:City] ".[/SPAN]  

Orik

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #24 on: Jun 09 10 07:40 »
 Orca wrote:
Jamaican Math Test

LMAO first time i read this i laughed again i read this and laughed it was funny then and it is funny now.. it could also be a Parisian French or a Quebec French man... similar accents..

 
Never give up Never surrender Fight with ur last breath Fight 2 live & Fight 2 survive. Never say never & never say die. There comes a time when all will die A time we transcend & attain our place afterlife. My Fight is not yet done, I'm tired & I'd like to go home, But I'm not ready to go just yet.

DDD

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #25 on: Jun 09 10 07:55 »
That made me LOL   Itsy Bitsy                                                 [img id=karmaImage onclick=captured(); height=72 src="http://discoverseattle.net/forums/pig_l.gif" width=68 border=0 name=karmaImage]
God is great, beer is good and people are crazy!

49er

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #26 on: Jun 10 10 06:30 »
[SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 24pt; FONT-WEIGHT: bold"]A [SPAN style="BORDER-BOTTOM: medium none; BACKGROUND: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; CURSOR: hand" id=lw_1276222462_0 class=yshortcuts]Home Depot[/SPAN] Story..
[/SPAN][FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"]Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing[/SPAN][/FONT]

[FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][/SPAN][/FONT]

[FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"]He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge.[/SPAN][/SPAN][/FONT]

[FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][/SPAN][/SPAN][/FONT]

[FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"]Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer,
her eye caught a beautiful [SPAN style="BORDER-BOTTOM: #366388 2px dotted; BACKGROUND: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; CURSOR: hand" id=lw_1276222462_1 class=yshortcuts]bathroom faucet[/SPAN].
[/SPAN][/SPAN][/SPAN][/FONT]

[FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"]When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that faucet?"
[FONT color=black size=2 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 10pt"]
[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"]The manager replied, "That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00.
Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that is a very expensive faucet. It's certainly out of my price range"[/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][/SPAN][/SPAN][/FONT]

[FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][/SPAN][/SPAN][/FONT]

[FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"]She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.
[/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][/SPAN][/SPAN][/FONT]

[FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"]The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.  
[/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][/SPAN][/SPAN][/FONT]

[FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"]From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"      
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[FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"][FONT color=maroon size=4 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 13pt"]Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucet."      [/SPAN][/FONT][SPAN class=apple-converted-space][FONT color=maroon size=2 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 10pt"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][FONT color=maroon size=2 face=Arial][SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; COLOR: maroon; FONT-SIZE: 10pt"]    

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DDD

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #27 on: Jun 11 10 11:23 »
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Cow, an Ant and an a**hole...


A Cow, an Ant and an a**hole are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.

Cow:  I give 50 litres of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!!

Ant:  I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!!
 
 
 








 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
   
 
 
 
 
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Why are you scrolling down?  It's your turn to say something...
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God is great, beer is good and people are crazy!

Natasha

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #28 on: Jun 15 10 09:29 »
Well that's just mean.

  [FONT size=1]lol[/FONT]

DDD

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Re: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes
« Reply #29 on: Jun 21 10 11:15 »
yea but still funny
God is great, beer is good and people are crazy!

 

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