Cat humour

Started by Gopher, Jun 05 07 11:50

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Gopher

Jun 05 07 11:50
Anything humorous with cats in mind e.g.

  "A diamond-studded flea collar is a cat's best friend".
A fool's paradise is better than none.

kitten

#1
Jun 05 07 11:51
Dogs drool, cats rule.
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped.  They have not forgotten.

Gopher

#2
Jun 05 07 11:54
Cats at the cinema: I hope there will be more to follow.

  Catablanca
A fool's paradise is better than none.

Sportsdude

#3
Jun 05 07 11:54
 In the mind of animals when the owners talk to them:
Dog: Yes master, okay *sits*
Cat: I'm the master, who you kidding, I own the house!
   
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

kitten

#4
Jun 05 07 12:04
Famous lover

  Catanova
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped.  They have not forgotten.

kitten

#5
Jun 05 07 12:24
Medicine for a cat...

  Cat-a-tonic
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped.  They have not forgotten.

Sportsdude

#6
Jun 05 07 12:29
Lord of the Cats  
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

Gopher

#7
Jun 05 07 12:33
Goldwhisker....and another Bond film: You Only Live Nine Times.
A fool's paradise is better than none.

kitten

#8
Jun 05 07 12:37
Actually seen in a play review

  After the play the cats returned to take a bow.
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped.  They have not forgotten.

Schadenfreude

#9
Jun 05 07 02:20
[img id=img style="BORDER-RIGHT: black 1px solid; BORDER-TOP: black 1px solid; BORDER-LEFT: black 1px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: black 1px solid" alt="TinyPic image" src="vny!://i16.tinypic.com/5xdy8t3.gif" border=0].
"I used to rock and roll all night and party every day, then it was every other day.  Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky."

Lise

#10
Jun 05 07 04:57
 [TABLE width=600 align=center border=0] [TBODY] [TR] [TD] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1][/FONT]

 [FONT face=Verdana]cat haiku[/FONT][FONT face="Times New Roman"] [/FONT]

 [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]You never feed me.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
That will sure show you.[/FONT]

 [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]You must scratch me there![/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Yes, above my tail![/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Behold, elevator butt.[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]The rule for today:[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
New rule tomorrow.[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]In deep sleep hear sound[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
cat vomit hairball somewhere[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
will find in morning.[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]Grace personified.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
I leap into the window.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
I meant to do that.[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]Blur of motion, then --[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
silence, me, a paper bag.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
What is so funny?[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]The mighty hunter[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Returns with gifts of plump birds --[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
your foot just squashed one.[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]You're always typing.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Well, let's see you ignore my[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
sitting on your hands.[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]My small cardboard box.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
You cannot see me if I[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
can just hide my head.[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]Terrible battle.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
I fought for hours. Come and see![/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
What's a 'term paper?'[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]Small brave carnivores[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes,[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Fear vacuum cleaner[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]I want to be close[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
to you. Can I fit my head[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
inside your armpit?[/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]Wanna go outside.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Oh, poop! Help! I got outside![/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Let me back inside![/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]Oh no! Big One[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
has been trapped by newspaper![/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Cat to the rescue![/FONT]  [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]Humans are so strange.[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
Mine lies still in bed, then screams;[/FONT] [FONT face=Verdana size=-1]
My claws are not that sharp.[/FONT]

[/TD][/TR][/TBODY][/TABLE]  

 [A href="vny!://www.strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/cathaiku.html"][FONT size=1]vny!://www.strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/cathaiku.html[/FONT][/A]

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby.

Lazy Orik

#11
Jun 05 07 05:47
Lise i laughed out loud upon reading that...

lol, only cause cat owners know it for the truth it is...

you a found a brilliant piece of poetry...
thank you for sharing it ...


 

kitten

#12
Jun 05 07 05:55
That is a lovely poem!  Just purrfect.
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped.  They have not forgotten.

Sportsdude

#13
Jun 05 07 06:00
Great poem Lise!  
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

P.C.

#14
Jun 05 07 06:15
Meow
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.
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