[P class=MsoNormal][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]SMART ASS ANSWER #6[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked [?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign [/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" size=2][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]comes up that reads, " [/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"][?xml:namespace prefix = ns0 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /][ns0:place w:insAuthor="Unknown" w:insDate="2007-01-31T08:04:00Z" w:endInsAuthor="Unknown" w:endInsDate="2007-01-31T08:04:00Z"][ns0:PlaceName w:insAuthor="Unknown" w:insDate="2007-01-31T08:04:00Z" w:endInsAuthor="Unknown" w:endInsDate="2007-01-31T08:04:00Z"][?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /][st1:place w:st="on"][st1:PlaceName w:st="on"][FONT color=black][SPAN style="COLOR: black"]Low[/SPAN][/FONT][/st1:PlaceName][/ns0:PlaceName][/st1:place][FONT color=black][SPAN style="COLOR: black"] [/SPAN][/FONT][ns0:PlaceType w:insAuthor="Unknown" w:insDate="2007-01-31T08:04:00Z" w:endInsAuthor="Unknown" w:endInsDate="2007-01-31T08:04:00Z"][st1:PlaceType w:st="on"][FONT color=black][SPAN style="COLOR: black"]Bridge[/SPAN][/FONT][/st1:PlaceType][/ns0:PlaceType][/ns0:place][FONT color=black][SPAN style="COLOR: black"] Ahead." Before he [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]"No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." [/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" size=2][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"][o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]
[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma size=4][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Tahoma size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, [o:p][/o:p][/SPAN][/FONT]
[P class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"][FONT face=Tahoma color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand." [/SPAN][/FONT][o:p][/o:p]
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