How does this happen ???

purelife · Jul 13 06 03:38

You could also PM me if this gets to be too personal and of course, you don't have to share anything with me or us that you don't want to.

Sportsdude · Jul 13 06 03:38

Hmm. I hear yeah. Except I haven't experienced really love of any kind so that's like a giant question mark in life something I kind of long for.

purelife · Jul 13 06 03:44

I understand where you're coming from. Love is a wonderful thing when you're with the right person.

P.C. · Jul 13 06 04:02

Kitten wrote:

She has offered to go with my 74 year old sister to the hospital for cataract surgery, [FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffbf"]IF my sister will "lend" her a hundred bucks[/FONT]. Decent of her, eh?

Now THAT's really sad !

Sportsdude, you're still young, and there's nothing wrong with not dating until all is right for you to do so. It's actually kind of commendable for you to have made a choice not to, when you know the situation isn't right. You'll know when it's OK.

Sportsdude · Jul 13 06 04:05

Well its kinda odd. I see everyone else around me hooking up going out and having fun while I would just sit there. The bad side of experiencing stuff to early is my cousins. They both are parents and one just turned 21 and the other 19. But it sucks when you are considered an outcast and don't get in on any of the fun.

kitten · Jul 13 06 04:24

You're right, Sportsdude, it does suck to feel like an outcast. But it sucks far worse to be an unwed parent with no future. You're very smart not to get into that situation.

purelife · Jul 13 06 04:31

sometimes you just have to do what you feel right and not follow the crowd. that is what makes you unique.

Sportsdude wrote:

Well its kinda odd. I see everyone else around me hooking up going out and having fun while I would just sit there. The bad side of experiencing stuff to early is my cousins. They both are parents and one just turned 21 and the other 19. But it sucks when you are considered an outcast and don't get in on any of the fun.

49er · Jul 13 06 08:04

purelife wrote:
........ We've never really been close. I have never received a hug from my dad and it was only once that I hugged him when I left at the airport.[/DIV]
This happens so much in immigrant families. Many immigrant families, particularly Chinese, have such difficulties showing their love for their children as westerners do publicly or privately. Remember they themselves never experienced the kisses or hugs from their parents, I bet if back in the old country their strict code of behavior would be considered normal.....your dad love you no less. His way of showing love for the family was worked his ass off to provide shelter and food on the table for the family so his kids will have an easier time. His early curfews and strict rules were his ways, as he knew, to protect his daughter ....remember also during this period he was under extreme pressure to adjust to a new world and likely was taking a lot of crap at work because he was a FOB. You, on the other hand, was carefree, still a child going to school and being assimilated into western culture.

Make the move, go home and visit, talk with your dad while you still have the chance..........I bet you will end up feeling better.

P.C. · Jul 13 06 08:20

I think there is a lot of truth in that 49er. Our parents showed love in different ways....and with our romaticized perception of how things are NOW, sometimes leaves us feeling unloved. I suppose it's no different than the relationships we observe in the movies. (family or otherwise) The reality is, most of us don't say the things that come across so eloquently on TV. (Oh, for a writer....where IS a writer when you need one)

kitten · Jul 13 06 08:23

I know my mother showed love, but in a discreet fashion. My father didn't know the meaning of love.....just force and brutality.

P.C. · Jul 13 06 08:35

That too is the case sometimes. It certainly doesn't hold true for all.

Sportsdude · Jul 13 06 09:04

Yeah there is this super scholar chinese girl in KC who was one of the best violinist in the country won a bunch of awards. Well she couldn't take the constant abuse that her family would put on her. Apparently they'd make her stand naked in a corner and whip her and shame her. She was on the fast track to Harvard and stardom but she got into a fight with her mother and just couldn't take it anymore and stabbed her to death with scissors. At 18 I believe she is being tried for the death penalty.

kitten · Jul 13 06 09:07

That poor, persecuted child. It sounds like justifiable homicide to me. Surely she wouldn't be given the death penalty for that in view of all the abuse she took.

Sportsdude · Jul 13 06 09:09

Can't find the orginal article because it has gotten too old. Actually she can't be tried for the death penalty (thank god) because of the supreme court banning under 18 childern being tried for the death penalty last year.

But the girl does have a wikipedia profile:

[A href="vny!://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esmie_Tseng"]vny!://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esmie_Tseng[/A]

[A onclick="Controls.setCurrentVideo(4883335,['kc1','Teen Faces Murder Charge In Mother\'s Stabbing ']); return false;" href="vny!://www.thekansascitychannel.com/news/4883301/detail.html#"][img id=image4882681 height=180 alt="Esmie Tseng " src="vny!://www.thekansascitychannel.com/2005/0822/4882681_240X180.jpg" width=240 border=0][/A]

kingy · Jul 13 06 09:48

purelife wrote:
Do you know clues that girls give off if they are interested in you? If I was a guy, I would feel more comfortable asking a girl out if I knew that she was kind of interested in me.

As a female, I know these "clues" or what we call "body language" that I would be glad to share with you if you're interested.

as a guy, i would love it if some of you girls would share. i know girls get just as frustrated as to why guys dont seem interested when the girls think they are giving obvious clues.

from a guys standpoint, the clues are not as clear to us as you might think.