vny!://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1UCde6/www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2011/10/shakespeare-insult-kit.html (//vny!://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1UCde6/www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2011/10/shakespeare-insult-kit.html)
I like this one better...it's less work:
Elizabethian Insults (//vny!://stupidstuff.org/quoter/elizabethian.htm)
"Thou art a warped clapper-clawed whey-face!"
Plenty of them about.