Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day, the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her adult life, until she got a divorce.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Those are too funny. Her skin was moist and dry. Hahahahha And people wonder why I have little faith in the medical profession.
My favourite was: The patient has no past history of suicides.
Yes....that's a good one too. [img style="BORDER-BOTTOM: medium none; BORDER-LEFT: medium none; BORDER-TOP: medium none; CURSOR: pointer; BORDER-RIGHT: medium none" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundColor='#C6D3EF';this.style.border='1px solid #3169C6'; " onmouseout="this.style.backgroundColor=''; this.style.border=''" onclick="InsertImage('/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/3.gif');" align=absMiddle src="vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/3.gif"]
Another fave....Patient was alert and unresponsive
Sounds like me.
im just amazed someone could read it in the first place
The patient refused an autopsy.
Some people are so picky. [img style="BORDER-BOTTOM: #3169c6 1px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #3169c6 1px solid; BACKGROUND-COLOR: #c6d3ef; BORDER-TOP: #3169c6 1px solid; CURSOR: pointer; BORDER-RIGHT: #3169c6 1px solid" onmouseover="this.style.backgroundColor='#C6D3EF';this.style.border='1px solid #3169C6'; " onmouseout="this.style.backgroundColor=''; this.style.border=''" onclick="InsertImage('/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/4.gif');" align=absMiddle src="vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/4.gif"]
(I hate whatever has happened to pasting pics, and links and emoticons. It's so annoying.)
Russ wrote:
im just amazed someone could read it in the first place
--
LOL. That's what I was thinking.
A lot of my dr friends had decent handwriting before they entered the profession...then something happened.
Lmao at Circus Sized ...
those are some damn out right funny mistakes, if they are even mistakes and not intentionally written to make people chuckle
.