I was talking to my female co-worker the other day. She's single and is adamant that men in Vancouver are cowards because they won't approach her. I told her, why not just approach the guys instead but she's a firm believer that the men should make the first move. "Call me old fashion," She said to me.
I was just wondering, do you think in this day and age, the guy should be the one to make the first move? If the woman do it, would men think differently about her?
I'm not sure if it's an issue of modern times or old fashioned times as much as it is about an individuals beliefs or where their comfort zone is. But I wonder.... if a person is single and old fashioned, and it isn't working for them....then maybe it's time to look at things from a different angle.
It's a myth that women didn't make the first move in 'old fashioned' times. They did. They just did it differently than they do now.
As far as if men will think differently about a woman who makes the first move ? I would say yes....but I'm guessing it would be a positive in their eyes. I think todays men are in a tough spot, and I wouldn't be surprised to find that many men might believe that it's no longer 'safe' or wise to approach women. I think they need clearer 'signs', as the signals we send out have changed. Caution or coyness can easily be mistaken for aloofness or lack of interest.
Your co-worker might remain single for a long time if she is clinging to old fashioned standards, without examining why.
Lise wrote:
I was talking to my female co-worker the other day. She's single and is adamant that men in Vancouver are cowards because they won't approach her. I told her, why not just approach the guys instead but she's a firm believer that the men should make the first move. "Call me old fashion," She said to me.
I was just wondering, do you think in this day and age, the guy should be the one to make the first move? If the woman do it, would men think differently about her?[/DIV]
As a single guy, I have no problems making the first move. I also have no prob with a lady making the first move too. I am also very honest from the start that I am not in a relationship kind of place in my life right now. Guys or gals shouldn't be leading the other on if all they want is a short term thang!
Lise wrote:
I was just wondering, do you think in this day and age, the guy should be the one to make the first move? If the woman do it, would men think differently about her?
--
Speaking from my own ancient dating life, if I made a move and the guy couldn't deal, he was history.
If I was single, I would make the move. I couldn't just hum and haw and wait. I would clearly give him the signals that I'm interested. If he doesn't approach me first within a few days, then I would. If he rejects me, then NEXT! Life moves on and the next guy is waiting somewhere.
I'm with PC that many guys have trouble figuring the girl out. So, they just don't approach them.
lol Michel. I think that's true. I don't think the fear of risking rejection is exclusive to one gender. Is it fair to put the men in the position of being the ones always to take that risk ?
Waltzing up to someone and asking them to dinner is one thing....but sending subtle messages that you are at least approachable is the only move that makes it easier for both sides to know how or if to make the next move.
I have no problems with asking or being asked.
I wouldnt ask girls that sent off warning vibes in me.. I know it sounds bad, but are you sure she's sending out the right sort of signals?
But I do agree with Michel... there has to be obvious signals being sent unless Im looking in the first place.
Most of you guys are staring at all the wrong places. (//vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Teasing/4.gif)
purelife wrote:
Most of you guys are staring at all the wrong places. (//vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Teasing/4.gif)
It's kind like turning on your favorite song, then trying to hear something else...(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Teasing/5.gif)
Lise - I also wonder if the girl is really afraid of rejection when this girl says that she's "traditional" and prefers the guy to ask her out.
I think you've probably hit the nail on the head, Purelife.
If I like a girl, I walk up to her and start doing the "Robot". Girls dig that. They love it so much, they run far away in excitement!
Van, why do the Robot when you could be like him and pick up girls. I wonder how Edward would make his first move.
[img]vny!://images.art.com/images/-/Johnny-Depp---Edward-Scissorhands--C10103916.jpeg"]
They wouldn't turn down the free haircut, that's for sure.
It would sure help in getting that darn bra off in the heat of the moment!!
ROFL!
Van wrote:
It would sure help in getting that darn bra off in the heat of the moment!! But isn't the panties more important to get off than the bra? It can wait, can't it?
Or is it simply getting off?
I think remote controlled GPS sensored bras and panties are needed in this day and age.
Van wrote:
It would sure help in getting that darn bra off in the heat of the moment!!
purelife wrote:
But isn't the panties more important to get off than the bra? It can wait, can't it? No. start at the top and work your way down.
panties are designed so they come off very easy...(vodka)...kidding...
purelife wrote:
I think remote controlled GPS sensored bras and panties are needed in this day and age. [/DIV]
Why? is this because these things somehow fly off and get lost in the bedroom in a fit of passion?
Not that I or anybody I know close to me has ever had a difficulty with this or anything.
Van wrote:
panties are designed so they come off very easy...(vodka)...kidding...
I always thought that the liquid panty removed was Gin?
According to a country song that just starting bouncing around my little head, Its Tequila that makes her jeans fall down.
*puts tequila on shopping list*
ok..maybe it isn't a good idea. I thought it would make life easier.. :))
No..you're all wrong. It's the Dan Hill, Luther Vandeross and Barry White songs...
Lil Me wrote:
No..you're all wrong. It's the Dan Hill, Luther Vandeross and Barry White songs...
Dan Hill?
Luther Vandeross?
Barry White?
(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/8.gif)
Weren't these the hero firefighters of the Great Fire of 1901 in Jacksonville???(//vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/12.gif)
*keeps tequila on shopping list*
LOL. What an interesting thread. Nice to see to off topic with panties and tequila included somewhere too. (//vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/12.gif)
I believe that my friend could be avoiding the whole dating scheme. She doesn't really go out, doesn't really dress to impress.... I'm not sure that she knows when a man is interested in her or how to give them the right signals.
that could be very true lise. I think my cousin is in that boat. Then she takes her cranky self out on the rest of us if we say we're doing anything remotely fun. eyeye
from my knowledge of girls on the island, since the men are out numbered its the girls that are always making first moves. Like they're fighting over us or something.
cuz i was listening to coffee talk in sociology last semester all the girls were in a agreement that the local guys were[small]
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Sportsdude wrote:
from my knowledge of girls on the island, since the men are out numbered its the girls that are always making first moves. Like they're fighting over us or something.
OH GODS!!! The truth is out there!!! (//vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/5.gif)
[img style="WIDTH: 568px; HEIGHT: 369px" height=420 src="vny!://i25.tinypic.com/24yoeap.jpg" width=624]
[SPAN class=contentdescription]But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself.[/SPAN] [DIV class=sectiontableentry2 align=left]Proverbs 6:32 [/DIV]