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General Category => Discover Seattle! => Topic started by: purelife on Sep 19 07 11:06

Title: Wedding
Post by: purelife on Sep 19 07 11:06
Quick question:

  When you receive a wedding invitation for either Reception or the Party, and then choose not to attend, is it courtesy to buy a gift (at least $50) for the couple?

  I've been told that it is courtesy to do so.  What's your opinion?
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: Gopher on Sep 19 07 11:08
A courtesy, but definitelky not necessary. Why not send a gushing (and sincere) letter instead?
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: Russ on Sep 19 07 11:10
Hey babe..

  It IS common courtesy to do so if they have invited you, but theres many people now that do not. Like lots of people dont.. so its kinda so so.

  Im not much help am I?  
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: purelife on Sep 19 07 11:21
Thanks guys.  I was just curious. :))

  How are you Russ?
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: Gopher on Sep 19 07 11:24
... and of course we'll shower you with gifts, not to mention money, when YOUR big day finally arrives, Purelife.  
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: purelife on Sep 19 07 11:29
 Awww..thanks Gophie...but I wouldn't expect anything, just attendance, if possible.

  I posted this because a friend asked me and so, wanted some opinions.[/DIV]
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: purelife on Sep 19 07 11:31
 duplicated post... huh?  [/DIV]
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: P.C. on Sep 19 07 11:40
I think it has always been considered good manners to send a gift if an invitation is received.  But to keep it simple......do you LIKE the person?  If so....send a gift or at least a nice card.  A gift doesn't have to be huge or expensive to be memorable and appreciated.    
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: JJ on Sep 19 07 12:15
I thinks it up to you, how do you feel.  I've been invited to big wedding of my cousins that I haven't attended nor send gifts. I know they really didn't expect me to attend.  But then I've sent gifts to small weddings that I wasn't invited but wanted to wish the young couple the best!  
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: Lise on Sep 19 07 03:25
My mother gave the kids of this long lost relatives about $200 in red packet money but they never invited her to the wedding banquet. The parents called her back to thank her profusely and I think they were very embarassed that they didn't invite my parents. When I heard that my mother gave them that much, I was mad as hell. I mean, c'mon!! Who gives $200 to distant relatives. Man....

  I always give out a token gift to the couple even if I decline going to their wedding or whatever. Like PC and JJ say, it's only good manners to do so and to wish the couple happy success in their new lives. Doesn't have to be much, it's the thought that counts.
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: Lil Me on Sep 19 07 03:44
Your mother is very generous, Lise.  I think that's lovely.  (no doubt the parents were embarassed....oooops!)  
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: Lise on Sep 19 07 03:46
She's got this mentality that it's the Chinese thing to do. I mean, WTH? My relatives don't even give me that much!

  Sheesh... I tell you, my parents have this thing where they believe it's Chinese custom to shell out as much as possible to show how rich you are. I just can't understand why!
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: Lil Me on Sep 19 07 03:47
Sometimes I think it's a Chinese custom to show off.  (go figure?)
 
 
   
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: Lise on Sep 19 07 03:49
Yeah. Bloody materialistic sometimes. My sister in HK has to show 'face' to her brother's side and his family. As in, buying expensive (name brand) clothes only or going to the best preppy preschools. It's so stupid and excessive, I can't understand it but she's doing it because everyone is competing with one another.
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: purelife on Sep 19 07 04:11
She lives in HK?  That explains it.  Generally, people living in HK are materialistic and love to "save face."
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: Michel on Sep 19 07 04:15
     

 
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: Lise on Sep 19 07 04:18
I think it's more like a dog eat dog world hence the materialistic approach to life. I mean, it's good to show off but too much is just plain shallow and deceitful.
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: Lil Me on Oct 01 07 05:44
I just declined a last-minute invitation to a wedding.  I know the invite was sent merely out of obligation, as the groom is a friend of my parents' and attended our wedding reception (with his previous wife).  I've met the bride once.
 
 Pfffft.  I'm not sending a gift, either.
   
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: P.C. on Oct 01 07 05:50
Obligation invites don't require a gift....hahahahahaaaa.  Nor do last minute invitations or e-mail invitations.  (I suppose it's only fair to tell you, that I made up those rules myself)
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: Lil Me on Oct 01 07 05:51
Aha!  It was a last-minute email inviation sent via someone else!!!  
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: P.C. on Oct 01 07 05:55
Ohhh....well in that case it requires a gift.....like maybe a copy of Ms Manners ?  
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: Russ on Oct 02 07 02:21
lol! While I agree with you miss lise.. It was kinda worth it what your parents did!

  Hello back at ya miss PL.
Title: Re: Wedding
Post by: Gopher on Oct 02 07 11:08
If you have to think whether or not you should give a present, then don't.