Hi all,
I have been having a crush on someone for a long time. The chance finally came, but then a series of events took place. And the culprit behind these events, I found, probably is this person I fall head over toe with.
If my suspicion is wrong, I sabotage all my chances. If it's right, it will ruin our relationship. We'll not really know each other, or I won't really know this person.
I can't just forget about it because I don't easily fall in love. So, any advice would be appreciated.
Hi Wondering
Your explanation is a little foggy. I'm not sure exactly what you're needing advice on. Can you maybe clarify it a wee bit?
I can't specify what this person has done nor the events, but the impact is broad and intense.
I know that I can only seek general advice here. I only want to hear ideas. In the end I will have to see the pros and cons myself because this is my dilemma. I can't decide either way on this one. If I decide to drop my suspicion on this person, I expose myself to the greatest danger, but I will have my wish come true base on ignorance. If I decide to keep my suspicion, then I have to either crush my feelings for this person and seek fairness, or keep my suspicion deep down so this person can't detect it. But then it will not be a relationship....
Oh, how I wish this person was never involved, or came close to... I wish I don't have to suspect this person.....
My question is: should I go for the person or ditch?
Fair nuff. So.....what you're saying is.....you like this person.
Some trouble (?) happened, and you think that this person you like, might be behind the trouble?
So you're thinking that if you call this person out on it......you lose your chances of perhaps getting closer to this person. But if you ignore it......you're in ? (How my doin so far?)
Fair nuff. So.....what you're saying is.....you like this person.
Some trouble (?) happened, and you think that this person you like, might be behind the trouble?
So you're thinking that if you call this person out on it......you lose your chances of perhaps getting closer to this person. But if you ignore it......you're in ? (How my doin so far?)
Yeah, pretty much it.
I have talked to this person, let's name this person Y and Y's pronoun it. Y denied its involvement.
If I ignore my suspicion, I have a much higher chance being in. Yes, but... would I? would and should people do this?[/DIV]
Well, it's always been my experience that when you try to turn a blind eye to trouble, it usually comes back in greater proportions. Just like the ostrich with his head in the sand......you know what that leaves as a target.
If the person "Y" has done something that is wrong, then Y will deny it. You should go with your gut feeling about the situation. Think about how much worse it would be later on if you let this slide now. You have to be sure you could live with the knowledge that Y could lie to you.
.... Should I expose Y? Yes I know Y knows how to cover up tracks, and I told Y to anyway. But should I go expose Y anyways?
Are you in danger if you do? Can you prove Y's actions if it is so well covered?
I think it's pretty unwise to try and give advice when the details are so vague. It's hard to tell if we're talking about a legal issue or a girlfriend/boyfriend betrayal kind of issue. I have to admit, I'm not following the story very clearly, with such limited details (although I understand your reason for remaining vague).
So having said that, have you asked yourself what your motive is in exposing this person......is it something that may not be considered your business to expose this person? Would it be revenge? or saving this person from harm?
Wish we could be more helpful.
Even the most covered up trail can be traced unless one has not commited an act.
Well, it's not bf/gf betrayal. Far from it. Looks more like old friend betrayal.
My motive in exposing Y would be to stop Y's negative impact. No, no revenge.
I just need a general idea on what I should do because I am giving you general information. will work out the specifics myself. In the end I'll still have to decide on my own. Just need ideas.
[DIV style="OVERFLOW: auto; WIDTH: 100%"] Even the most covered up trail can be traced unless one has not commited an act.
Well, it's not bf/gf betrayal. Far from it. Looks more like old friend betrayal.
My motive in exposing Y would be to stop Y's negative impact. No, no revenge.
I just need a general idea on what I should do because I am giving you general information. will work out the specifics myself. In the end I'll still have to decide on my own. Just need ideas.
Hmmm.....sounds rather ominous.
Well, not knowing the magnitude of the 'negative impact' makes it more difficult.......but if it were in my hands that I could prevent a negative impact, I believe I would. Not knowing what the negative impact is though, makes this the most difficult. Like if Y was going to out somebody that was in trouble with the law for example......and that's your definition of the negative impact....it would be a whole different story.
Well, when I say negative impact I mean harms' been done to innocent individuals. Again, Y is a prime suspect, but I like Y too much. Can't give you specifics.
I can't decide to expose Y, neither can I decide to go out with Y.
But there's another question: why would Y give me the chance(s) if Y does harm to me and others in the dark?
I don't think it is worth sacrificing your ethics to go out with someone you aren't sure of. I suspect you already know what you should do, but are just trying to work up the nerve to do it. Please don't do anything you will regret later.
I do know what I should do. Thanks for the ideas!
I will look into Y's motivation.
Hey Kitten....that was a really good point.
Wondering......I think looking into Y's motivation is a good next step. I too think that you really know what you should do, but are fighting with yourself over it. I wouldn't sacrifice my integrity either......somehow it would just feel tainted from the get-go. (and as a stab in the dark), if you are considering taking up with somebody that has the ability to do ....whatever it is that is making you think so hard......may also open you up, to be subject to some of the same down the road?
Them being with you won't change who they are......but you'll be changing who you are to be with them....knowing what you know.
(talking in riddles is hard....lol)
Dilemmas of the heart eh.
Stand up for yourself.
Put a loaded gun to his/her head .
Start asking questions.
Get the wrong answer and pull the trigger.
Only then will you know that you really love this person and could have spent the rest of your life together but you won't have this option as he/she would be dead but at least you will know what the f'uck is going on cos right now you don't have a clue.