[font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica"][a href="vny!://www.discovervancouver.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=152380" title="To those i have offended"]To those i have offended[/a]
[/font]
every one needs to laugh occasionally
enjoy
Irish Joke
The Young Irish Priest
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he couldn't stand still. He asked Father Murphy for some advice. Father Murphy replied, "When I'm worried about gettin' nervous on the pulpit, I take a wee bit o' whiskey. Just to calm my nerves."
So the next Sunday he took the older priest's advice. Before the mass, he got nervous and took a drink. He then proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:
1. A few sips of whiskey. Not the whole bottle.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Senior, Junior, and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say ``He was stoned off his ass."
10. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body"; he did not say, "Eat me."
12. The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the Cherry".
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yea God"
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Patrick's, not a patrick-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
lol, good one that Orik.
Hope your surgery tomorrow goes good! You'll be getting loads of positive thoughts and good wishes from me. (//vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Word_Greetings/3.gif)
Oops, I just realized you all are still on April 2. Orik's surgery is scheduled for April 4.
no the surgery was rescheduled...
not gona jinx the surgery date by mentioning it ... lkests just say next week... its gona happen...
and god i don't want to wait any longer and i dont want it cancelled again... to many frustrations...
it is gona be risky though... but positive thoughts right... all is gonna go well...
teehee orik...*bless* and good wishes. Cute..um...note... It totally makes sense!
Cretin wrote:
no the surgery was rescheduled...
not gona jinx the surgery date by mentioning it ... lkests just say next week... its gona happen...
and god i don't want to wait any longer and i dont want it cancelled again... to many frustrations...
it is gona be risky though... but positive thoughts right... all is gonna go well...
Sorry to hear the surgery isn't a go for tomorrow, but the positive thoughts and good wishes from me remain whenever and wherever it is now scheduled. (//vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/21.gif)