..... about personal grooming. Here are the top ten tips that women have vocalized about men and how to 'beautify' yourself. (//vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/20.gif)
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[FONT size=4]The Terrible 10
[/FONT]problem areas as vocalized by women
1. Nail Care
Remember how your mother always looked at your hands when you came inside from playing in the backyard? How she sighed and told you to go clean up? She was preparing you for the legions of women that look at the hands of men in dismay.
To solve this problem, wash your hands regularly and use soap to get underneath the nails. Don't forget your toes and toenails! Try buying a nail care kit to keep your nails trim and neat. These kits come in a variety of masculine shades (silver, black) and look like James Bond gadgets.
2. Dry Lips
Ever watched Napoleon Dynamite? Turns out that guy had it right. Available at any pharmacy, just purchase a stick of lip balm to keep your lips in prime condition for kissing. Keep that masculine edge by avoiding fruity-fruit flavored lip balms.
3. Nose Hair
We were all children and we know how excruciating it can be to stare up at older man who has hair coming out of all his orifices. Keep yourself in check by purchasing nose hair trimmer. This nifty gadget usually comes with several attachments that are useful for keeping sideburns neat as well.
4. The Unibrow
Remember Bert from Sesame Street? He had a unibrow and everyone thought he was evil. He also only ever hung with Ernie. Lesson to be learned: get rid of the unibrow! Pluck it out with a pair of tweezers or shave it off. Just make sure to exercise a degree of caution. This hair has to go!
5. Ear Hair
Do this for the sake of the youth, (please see #3). The nose hair trimmer should be able to get this job done. Just make sure to keep your equipment clean.
6. Dry Skin
We all like touching women with silky soft skin. And it turns out women also like soft skin. Who knew? To keep your skin healthy, fresh, and youthful purchase a face and body moisturizer. Also, ditch the alcohol based aftershave products, which dry the face!
7. Dandruff
I had a professor in University who wore expensive black suits. He would have looked good if he didn't have dandruff. One time a girl in class leaned over, shuddered, and said it looked like it was snowing on his shoulders. She never even mentioned the fine suit. Don't let this happen to you. Simply break out the Head and Shoulders from time to time and keep the fungus from cramping your style.
8. Bad Breath
A wise man once said that kissing leads to touching, touching leads to foreplay, foreplay leads to sex. Bad breath is sex kryptonite. To make sure that kiss is as sizzling as it should be, brush regularly and use a tongue cleaner. These are sold in your pharmacy next to the toothbrushes. Tongue cleaners help remove excessive amount of bacteria from your mouth which cause bad breath.
9. Ear Wax
Nasty goop coming out of any bodily orifice is usually in bad taste. Defend yourself by getting an ear wash from your doctor. The pharmacy also carries a few products that can help loosen and clear away wax. Avoid jamming Q-Tips into the ear canal as they may cause ear infections.
10. Acne & Pores
Remember your teen years? I'm guessing you don't want to live that again. Use a facial cleanser and a toner to remove oily gunk from your face. You'll look younger and fresher!
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Oh and I can't emphasized enough about the BAD BREATH thing. That's the worst turn-off for me.
Um, I fail at a bunch of those.
EDIT: probably including bad breath... wanna kiss lise?
*sprays pepper spray at Russ* (//vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/12.gif)
HA!!! Thats great Lise. My dad is looking at me like im a nutball right now cause of my burst of laughter. Now hes coming to read!
is that a taser in your pocket ?
A guy who passes the above test would be a metrosexual aka David Beckham, right?. (//vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Teasing/12.gif)
Well, I've never been told I have dry lips or bad breath.
list for woman
1. make sandwhiches
2. sit in corner and be quiet until man needs you.
easy, only 2!
just joking folks!
kingy wrote:
is that a taser in your pocket ?
........
Mistype. Surely you meant teaser?
lol. I am all for quick beauty fixes.
The latest thing I found is the manicure scrub from bath and body works. 60 seconds. Then your hands feel like you've spent all day at the spa. Fantastic. I highly recommend it.
kingy wrote:
is that a taser in your pocket ?[/DIV]
For kingy, I have more than just a mere taser.
purelife wrote:
A guy who passes the above test would be a metrosexual aka David Beckham, right?. (//vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Teasing/12.gif) [/DIV]
I didnt know beckham was gay. Thats what metrosexual means yes?
<<Im being serious here, Ive always wondered>>
Oh no, metrosexual doesn't mean that you're gay. It just means that you're borderline gay. LOL, just kidding.
[H2]Definition of "metrosexual"[/H2] The latest buzzword making its way across both cyberspace and regular space is "metrosexual". What's the definition of metrosexual? Some define metrosexual as "a straight man in touch with his feminine side". Others define it with more specificity, such as "a straight man, who lives in an urban environment, who is into designer clothes, art museums, musicals, and other non-macho pursuits." And one internet jokester defined a metrosexual as a person who is sexually attracted to Geo Metros. Besides the quip about Geo Metros, the theme behind all the definitions is that the metrosexual is a straight man, but he's interested in things that the stereotypical gay man is interested in. Dave Beckham is often pointed out as someone who is metrosexual.
Borderline gayness. Hehe.
I know quite a number of guys who are metrosexual. They spend time in the spa, has expensive haircuts and buy really trendy clothes................... but not gay.
Lise wrote:
Borderline gayness. Hehe.
I know quite a number of guys who are metrosexual. They spend time in the spa, has expensive haircuts and buy really trendy clothes................... but not gay.
Uh, by the last definition posted and this one... thats gay in my books.
But to be honest I dont care, I have a few friends that are gay/ lesbian. To each his/ her own is the philosophy I live by.
Lise wrote:
Borderline gayness. Hehe.
I know quite a number of guys who are metrosexual. They spend time in the spa, has expensive haircuts and buy really trendy clothes................... but not gay.[/DIV]
yeah, that is why Vancouver makes the baby Jesus cry. If you are not gay, you are pretty damn close to being gay!