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[span style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica;"]Orik, this poem of yours sets off alarm bells, making one wonder if it is a suicide note sent to a public forum. A cry for help?
Apart from that, your writing is powerful. Strong use of images and metaphors. Shows a lot of promise. I could see it as a short film.
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Wow. You're brave to put your picture out there.
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Nice poem. I understood some of it.(//forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/2.gif)
I understood nothing of the Orik. (http://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Other/20.gif)
clearly that poem is the contant battle between right and wrong. it is very ironic when the poem introduces what happens or what is said and what we believe will happen which causes feelings of tension between the two conflicting ideas.
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Wow..Atleast Kingy got it... Good job Kingy..(//forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/2.gif)
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Nice Poem...(//forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/2.gif)
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Well, although I don't think I understand it, you learn things wherever you go. I had no idea, bone marrow was green.
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Same old death rattle. click...click....click...
I posted a rather in depth analysis of one of your poems at the 'As Promised' link, in case you are interested...
was my artistic impression of the piece bang on or not???
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Hi, Mr. Orik.
Are you here?
I hope you don't mean that poem literally.
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Fantastic poem. How is the book publishing coming along? Anything I can do to help out? I'm pretty good at editing and proofreading. (http://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/19.gif)
[FONT face="Arial Black"]LOL
Raging Poodle and x could one of those as well [/FONT]
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EED, the frog is wise.
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Orik, I'm really looking forward to your book. How is it progressing? There is someone over at DV who is a publisher. Wonder if maybe you should talk with her?
[FONT face="Arial Narrow"]Many of the poems seem to surround regrets, guilts, speculations and observations that inspired much sympathy. To me they are a progression from utter guilt and depression to making amends and saying goodbye to past faults.
Some of your poems have what sound like conversation breaks, and some look and sound like deliberate run-on stanzas that depict live pictures as in "(??) Time is Passing" and the language of a distressed mind as in "Escape from Freedom" and "Sleep Well and Wake". If the effects were intended, I applaud at your success.
Your misspellings seem to justify themselves. Some seem to be for phonic effects and some I daresay, for pun (ie. Is it naught but a tombstone and worms); some appear as if highlights (ie. dieing, thier's) that invite contemplation of the real meaning of the words that have long lost their expressive powers.[/FONT]
[FONT face="Arial Narrow"]Regarding one of your themes that I presumed, I think some events are inevitable--they would take place one way or another, sooner or later. When they happen we don't always choose the right action. This is human.
"i'll see what thier's to see
or not to see"
The way you misspelled "thier's" It feels as though things are going to look wrong whether or not this person makes the effort to see. If that was intended, I love your expression.
And overall, I appreciated your poems.[/FONT]
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Hello Orik(//forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/14.gif)... I am your worst nightmare come true(//forums/richedit/smileys/Angry/6.gif) ... (//forums/richedit/smileys/Angry/6.gif) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(//forums/richedit/smileys/Angry/6.gif)
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Unfathomable
[FONT face="Arial Narrow" size=3] A rare rich, vibrant way of thinking is evident even though the topics you chose should have drowned it.
After I read your last three poems, I get a feeling that your poems will be more powerful if you loosen all of your fears.
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I wish youd die Orik. Your poetry is full of shit.Coons ? You should go on tight rope you n***er f*cking son of a bitch.
GORDY GAMBINO a1 wrote:
I wish youd die Orik. Your poetry is full of shit.Coons ? You should go on tight rope you n***er f*cking son of a bitch.
Gordy, chill out. This isn't your own personal cursing zone. If you ever left a post here withut the f-word in it I'd be stunned.
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Orik wrote:
thank you TehBork...
Now Gordy perhaps if you read the full piece of poetry
you would realize the term Coon is shortened and used in reference to
the animal kingdoms raccoon...or did you fail to see the imagery behind it...
or did you think i meant something entirely different...
but i have no need to explain what is perfectly understandable to every one else... except you ...
that alone speaks volumes for your level of intelligence... or perhaps i should say your lack their of..
^ Now i get it
TehBorken wrote:
GORDY GAMBINO a1 wrote:[BR style="FONT-STYLE: italic"] [SPAN style="FONT-STYLE: italic"]I wish youd die Orik. Your poetry is full of shit.Coons ? You should go on tight rope you n***er f*cking son of a bitch.[/SPAN]
Gordy, chill out. This isn't your own personal cursing zone. If you ever left a post here withut the f-word in it I'd be stunned.
You think this is bad.....You should see the trail of destruction i leave on Oprahs forum.........At least until i get banned from there as well.
This isn't your own personal cursing zone. If you ever left a post here withut the f-rd in it I'd be stunned.
Thats what the Oprah forum is for. Be stunned as my last posts have been nice
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Sleep well. Your love theme definitely budded!
A dark sprinkled bubble
held us until it
bursted. Honey, I held onto you
until one fingernail to infinity.
They are gone.
Days
I've soaked up the midnight sun
My iris, skin and cells.
No tan nor heart.
Your warm freeze.
No doll, no teddy bear,
No cotton candy, no others.
Did you freeze? Did I?
Dreams
I want to print you endless souvenirs
when we come back:
Take my hand.
Orik, this is another poem that might interest you.
Keep them closed
Until the air is still
Tears won't run
The most mature dandelion.
I am not worthwhile.
Grave is too grave for
Signs of love.
Signs of live.
Now he turns around
Draws buckets of water
Splash, splash.
He will give you clean clothes
And some food.
The most fascinating and adorable child.
Two pecks on the cheeks.
Rest, don't think of the murders.
Today it is sunny out.
Play, laugh, you do forget.
You should not wait
You should not chase
The worthless seeds make ugly weeds
I don't know how to tsay this anymore.
If talking in riddles hurt than I rather
speak the common tongue.
It's a matter of being direct and indirect.
What should have been said else where
is again said else where. Let it go.
Be glad to know now that it doesn't work.
Orik;
Are you going to hear this poet?
[A href="http://thedriveisalive.blogspot.com/2007/05/literary-meredith-quartermain-and.html"]http://thedriveisalive.blogspot.com/2007/05/literary-meredith-quartermain-and.html[/A]
POETIC
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This is not a comment......just having a little fun with the codes.
Lol... thats nice PC...and i will prolly not be going ... i have to work satuurdays, so the odds of my making that friday night poetry reading are slim... to none...
[input name="post" value="Post" onclick="return scheck(); return submitThisOnce(this);" accesskey="s" tabindex="3" type="submit"] more often
...oh ok. Honest--I think I am not worth his while. He should have been far gone. I was the dandelion. I didn't know that one post could start all this. Peace.
Worthless seeds make ugly weeds.
Although dandelion is quite pretty when it's grown into a clock, the seeds are worthless because after that you get more of the weeds. Since I was the dandelion, then you get the picture that I felt like I was making ugly weeds. That's what I had in mind when I wrote that line.
Again, I emphasize--I truly am not worth his while. I hope the best for him. He used to be the best guy I knew.
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Orik, I've sent you email about a publisher.
Hello Orik,
You really sound like the guy I've been crushing on. When I was about to risk a relationship with him, he has done something that he must have known that it would hurt me even in the long run. Now we've stopped talking to each other. Here's a note I've written for him, but instead of giving it to him, I'll share it here:
I'm not looking forward to hurt you nor myself again. We actually should go our own ways and stop torturing each other, but I don't lose feelings for you the way I would with others. It does not mean that I can stand being hurt. It means that there are some things about you and something about us that can never be replaced. It started many years ago and has not changed, only disguised.
If there's something you don't understand about me, ask me. I'll tell you straightforwardly. If there's something you want to tell me, I want to see you, hear what you want to say, and give you something that should have long ago belonged to you.
I want to accept you, forgive you; I want to be with you, but I need to know who you are, who you really are. You have opened up. You have been frank, but you have also pretended and hid from me. I want to see you. I want to hear, really hear what you say.
I don't want to wake up from a fading dream and panic, asking myself, "who is he, who is he?" In the dream, it was so vivid. You wanted to sacrifice for me, and I would not let you, not because I self-pitied, but because I felt that I did not deserve it.
In reality, on and off from years ago and even after I've been hurt again and again, I still love you, only you.
Orik,
You probably is just someone who's like that guy I love(d), but you do remind me so much of him. Well, I hope somehow you and she will work things out if it's still possible, if your poems really do base on a someone special. But for me, I don't know what on earth I have done that made him keep trying to hurt me because it's always he who hurt me (maybe I couldn't see things from his perspective, and he has not told me anything), and we really don't and can't talk. He's also the love of my life although we have never even become boyfriend/girlfriend. I have tried to be as nice as I could be (probably too nice) to him, but I must forget him now or it seems like he's going for my heart, skull and soul--crushing them all to pieces. Oh, if she does that to you (I mean our situation seems to be so similar), you should forget her.
I find it difficult to ignore how he thinks of me, since I care so much about him, but I guess at some point I must let go of that too.... I can't get him to understand or agree with me on things.... Oh, I guess he doesn't even care: he just wants to hurt me now. If it's possible, create some new experiences with others will create and deepen bonds.... Then maybe you can forget her. Then maybe I can forget him. I will focus on my studies. .... I have a weakness of putting him as my priority, especially when things don't go well. Maybe after I finish school, I will have a whole new perspective on love and on him.
If she loved you, she shouldn't have shamed you, generally speaking. I don't know your situation, but she definitely has inspired you. Hope it isn't too painful for you now, and hope you will work things out with her soon, or heal, or find someone really special soon!
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Censorship Sucks!
Yes it does... I wish I could give some good advice, but I don't really know what to say...
Banned from DV again Orik cos you seem to have a fair go on this forum?<br />Just an observation and as you know if you don't like it you can go and get stuffed.Well thats censorship for you.
WR you could tell the whinging Orik to get stuffed. That would be a start!!!
Keep in mind, Gordy, that Orik has close ties to that forum... I'm not one to judge, but you know how DV is run... right?
DV is a total absolute disaster and a disgrace to humanity and free speech.
Mods all get off on power that they assume they have but i don't agree with banning anyone for any reason even if they have a f'ucking bad or complaining attitude.
Well said, Gordy... Goodnight.
I love you Orik. Could we talk?
I'm beginning to wonder where Orik is...
I'm beginning to wonder why he sabotaged his own posts.
P.C. wrote:
I'm beginning to wonder why he sabotaged his own posts.
Orik is nothing but a self-pitying, self-centred narcissistic gasbag. If self-pity equalled balls, he would have put himself out of his misery long ago, like he keeps threatening to do. Stop teasing us, Orik!
As for "censoring" his own posts, it's self-censorship redux, a la dv. The same old tired attention-whoring bullshit. Are we supposed to think that DS censored him?
And as for the title of this thread, he got it half right, like everything else in his "life."[/DIV]