Poll
Question:
If your BF or GF said "I do not like your Mom" and had no reason would you end the relationship?
Option 1: Yes
votes: 0
Option 2: No
votes: 3
Option 3: For no reason at all....YES GO AWAY
votes: 2
Option 4: Would talk it out and then decide
votes: 1
What would end it right away for you
I selected No.
If he didn't like my mom and didn't give a reason, I'd ask that at least he tries to be civil with her whenever he sees her. I will still try to get a reason out of him because I'm pretty open-minded about it and may even come to an agreement with him. No mom is perfect and there are always pluses and minuses. I know my mom ain't.
It's not worth jeopardizing a relationship just because the other person doesn't like your parents, imo. I mean, it does help that we all "get along." It would be difficult to live with a person who would never see your parent but it's possible.
I personally see my mom-in-law about once per season. I'd like to keep it this way. Mr PL is aware of the reasons why I dislike her. He agrees. I act civil whenever I see her. I'm not ready to call her "mom" yet and he is understanding. I'm just thankful that I don't have a momma's boy who is her only son/kid. :P
What ends a relationship for me is physical, mental and emotional abuse. I find all other things to be very minor. As long as there are more positives in the relationship, I'm all for remaining loyal and lenient for as long as possible.
^ what she said :)
And I also chose "no". For the same reasons as stated above. Some times there doesn't have to be an actual reason. Some people just put off odd vibes toward each other. Personally I think the only way there's going to be resolution is for the gf and mother to talk it out. At least try to. The discontent may be due to a misunderstanding.
For no reason at all....YES GO AWAY
Has to be something wrong with someone who doesn't like somebody for no reason at all. I'd wonder how long before other issues pop up.
P.C. wrote:
Has to be something wrong with someone who doesn't like somebody for no reason at all.
Exactly.
I'd wonder how long before other issues pop up.
And the answer is...probably not very long.
I'm with P.C. and TehB on this one.
P.C. wrote:
[SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"]For no reason at all....YES GO AWAY[/SPAN]
Has to be something wrong with someone who doesn't like somebody for no reason at all. I'd wonder how long before other issues pop up.
So true.........
When someone doesn't like someone else "for no reason", there's usually some kind of personal insecurity involved.
Everybody loves my parents, especially my mom. I wouldn't seriously date a person if they hated my parents for any reason. If a girl got to the point in the relationship where she met my parents, family, etc, it means the relationship is quite serious -- my answer is based on the fact that I'm not local, but I don't understand this Vancouver social norm of seeing the other person's parents three days after you started dating...
I've never seen a marriage/long term relationship last when one partner hated/disliked the other spouse's mom, dad or family (if the parents are still together, etc).
DDD wrote:
P.C. wrote:
[SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"]For no reason at all....YES GO AWAY[/SPAN]
Has to be something wrong with someone who doesn't like somebody for no reason at all. I'd wonder how long before other issues pop up.
So true.........
There must be something wrong with the person who stays as well.
I don't believe there's ever a "no reason" to things. There's always a reason. Maybe not a big reason, could be a stupid reason but there's a always a reason. Seems to me like some people just don't want to be honest about their reasons for some things. Some times a person can pick up that vibe which makes them feel unwelcomed or disliked. We've all picked up vibes like that online. Can you imagine how intensely higher that vibe would be if we were face to face with those same people? Either way, I wouldn't end the relationship. Not as long as everyone was being civil with one another.
Sportsdude wrote:
Everybody loves my parents, especially my mom. I wouldn't seriously date a person if they hated my parents for any reason. If a girl got to the point in the relationship where she met my parents, family, etc, it means the relationship is quite serious -- my answer is based on the fact that I'm not local, but I don't understand this Vancouver social norm of seeing the other person's parents three days after you started dating...
What difference does it make when the family meets the girl? People put too much pressure on themselves and each other about meeting the family.
I've never seen a marriage/long term relationship last when one partner hated/disliked the other spouse's mom, dad or family (if the parents are still together, etc).
And just because a person loves their partners parents doesn't mean the couple will stay together.
a) I live far away from wherever I would be dating
b) She would be coming to my place for Christmas, meeting the family and the relatives, etc.
c) Option B would only happen if I thought the relationship was serious, etc, etc.
I'm not suggesting that if someone likes the in-laws it automatically means a successful marriage, I'm just taking note from what I've seen, etc.
It's a reflection of my own upbringing; everyone is different.
"I'm not suggesting that if someone likes the in-laws it automatically means a successful marriage, I'm just taking note from what I've seen, etc.
It's a reflection of my own upbringing; everyone is different."
I'm with you on this on Sportsdude (oh ya, HI) There has to be a better shot at success when there is a mutual 'like' for and from everyone concerned. When you have the support pulling for you from all sides, that can only be a good thing. They always say too, that if you want an idea of what your potential spouse is going to look like in 30 years, look at their parents. It's usually a pretty good indicator.
(//forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/4.gif)
P.C. wrote:
I'm with you on this on Sportsdude (oh ya, HI) There has to be a better shot at success when there is a mutual 'like' for and from everyone concerned. When you have the support pulling for you from all sides, that can only be a good thing. They always say too, that if you want an idea of what your potential spouse is going to [span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"]look[/span] like in 30 years, look at their parents. It's usually a pretty good indicator.
[img style="font-style: italic;" src="/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/4.gif[/img]
Hi P.C.!
I laughed when I read this, because I can't remember a time when we agreed on something. ;)
I've seen some people morph into their parents (appearance wise) in just a few years. I'm always amazed at how much people change and how much time is taken for granted :( As for the support from all sides... oh if only the world were perfect :) Like you said SD upbringing does play a role. Personally, I wouldn't bother with a guy who relied so much on the opinon of his parents. I do think it's easier when everyone can get along but everyone not getting along certainly isn't a deal breaker...as long as everyone is civil. However, without civility toward one another, now that would end a relationship for me. Thank goodness there's someone for everyone :)
Natasha wrote:
I've seen some people morph into their parents (appearance wise) in just a few years. I'm always amazed at how much people change and how much time is taken for granted :( As for the support from all sides... oh if only the world were perfect :) Like you said SD upbringing does play a role. Personally, I wouldn't bother with a guy who relied so much on the opinon of his parents[FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffff00"]. I do think it's easier when everyone can get along but everyone not getting along certainly isn't a deal breaker...as long as everyone is civil. However, without civility toward one another, now that would end a relationship for me. [/FONT]Thank goodness there's someone for everyone :) Totally agree! I couln't have word it better. :)
Put like that I agree....................