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#125
Discover Seattle! / Body trivia
Jun 17 10 08:01
On average women blink nearly twice as much as men.
•
On average a baby's heart will beat about 60 million times before it is born.
•
It has been estimated that 17% of human beings are left handed which is roughly the same figure as for gorillas and chimpanzees.
•
If you are right handed you tend to chew on the right hand side of your mouth and if you are left handed you tend to chew on the left hand side of your mouth.
•
Two out of five American women dye their hair.
•
The average adult falls asleep seven minutes after turning the light off.
•
The average human being will accidentally eat about a pound in weight of insects over the course of a lifetime.
•
Right handed people, on average, live nine years longer than left handed people!
•
On average 15% of people secretly chew their toenails.
•
If a man farted non-stop for six years and nine months and then lit it he would produce an explosion equal to the power of the first atomic bomb!
•
On average a baby's heart will beat about 60 million times before it is born.
•
It has been estimated that 17% of human beings are left handed which is roughly the same figure as for gorillas and chimpanzees.
•
If you are right handed you tend to chew on the right hand side of your mouth and if you are left handed you tend to chew on the left hand side of your mouth.
•
Two out of five American women dye their hair.
•
The average adult falls asleep seven minutes after turning the light off.
•
The average human being will accidentally eat about a pound in weight of insects over the course of a lifetime.
•
Right handed people, on average, live nine years longer than left handed people!
•
On average 15% of people secretly chew their toenails.
•
If a man farted non-stop for six years and nine months and then lit it he would produce an explosion equal to the power of the first atomic bomb!
#126
Discover Seattle! / Interesting facts about the human body
Jun 09 10 07:49
[A class=postlink href="http://www.oddee.com/item_96773.aspx"]http://www.oddee.com/item_96773.aspx[/A]
#130
Discover Seattle! / Little Sally
May 06 10 08:05
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her
face and told her mother,
"Frankie Brown showed me his willy today in the playground".
Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, It reminded me of a peanut".
Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mum asked, "Really small, was it?"
"No," Sally replied, "Salty".
face and told her mother,
"Frankie Brown showed me his willy today in the playground".
Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, It reminded me of a peanut".
Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mum asked, "Really small, was it?"
"No," Sally replied, "Salty".
#131
Discover Seattle! / New Password
Apr 30 10 06:56
A woman was helping her husband set up his new computer, and at the appropriate time in the process, told him he would now need to enter a password.
Something he would use to log-on.
Her husband was in a rather devilish mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in:
P...
E...
N...
I...
S..
His wife fell out of her chair laughing when the computer replied:
***PASSWORD INVALID............NOT LONG ENOUGH***[!-- / message --]
Something he would use to log-on.
Her husband was in a rather devilish mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in:
P...
E...
N...
I...
S..
His wife fell out of her chair laughing when the computer replied:
***PASSWORD INVALID............NOT LONG ENOUGH***[!-- / message --]
#134
Discover Seattle! / Variation on a theme
Jan 29 10 07:45
WELLINGTON, New Zealand (Jan. 27) -- A German man who stuffed 44 small lizards into his underwear before trying to board a flight has been sentenced to prison in New Zealand for plundering the country's protected species.
Hans Kurt Kubus, 58, will spend 14 weeks behind bars and must pay a $3,540 fine before being deported to Germany as soon as he is released, District Court Judge Colin Doherty ruled on Tuesday.
Kubus was caught by wildlife officials at Christchurch International Airport on South Island in December. He was about to board an overseas flight with 44 geckos and skinks in a hand-sewn package concealed in his underwear.
Hans Kurt Kubus, 58, will spend 14 weeks behind bars and must pay a $3,540 fine before being deported to Germany as soon as he is released, District Court Judge Colin Doherty ruled on Tuesday.
Kubus was caught by wildlife officials at Christchurch International Airport on South Island in December. He was about to board an overseas flight with 44 geckos and skinks in a hand-sewn package concealed in his underwear.
#135
Discover Seattle! / Suprisingly Interesting Site
Jan 27 10 10:36
[FONT color=#008000]www.findagrave.com/[/FONT]
#136
Discover Seattle! / Doctors notes
Jan 14 10 10:53
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day, the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her adult life, until she got a divorce.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
On the second day, the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her adult life, until she got a divorce.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
#137
Discover Seattle! / Which is best?
Jan 08 10 11:47
Say what you prefer, then post your own
Sweet or savoury
Sweet or savoury
#138
Discover Seattle! / How do you imagine other posters (in one word)?
Jan 01 10 11:17
Sportsdude: Enthusiastic
Russ: Adventurous
PC: Svelte
Purelife: Loveable
LilMe: Energetic
Orik: Original
(no doubt more to follow).
Russ: Adventurous
PC: Svelte
Purelife: Loveable
LilMe: Energetic
Orik: Original
(no doubt more to follow).
#139
Discover Seattle! / Yellow Snow!
Dec 18 09 11:18
http://www.ugoplayer.com/games/hohohoyellowsnow.html
#140
Discover Seattle! / For Orik
Dec 17 09 11:06
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her name plate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack.
So, he says, "Mrs. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says "$30,000." The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it is OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain pig, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says: "There is a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink pig.
"I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says,
"It's a knick knack, Patti Whack.
Give the frog a loan.
His old man's a Rolling Stone."
So, he says, "Mrs. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says "$30,000." The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it is OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain pig, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says: "There is a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink pig.
"I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says,
"It's a knick knack, Patti Whack.
Give the frog a loan.
His old man's a Rolling Stone."
#141
Discover Seattle! / Worst buy of 2009
Nov 29 09 10:53
What was your's?
Mine was a new pair of glasses in August which I've taken back three times for adjustment and which I'm still not happy with.
Mine was a new pair of glasses in August which I've taken back three times for adjustment and which I'm still not happy with.
#142
Discover Seattle! / Best and Worst Lovers
Sep 30 09 11:23German men have been voted the world's worst lovers.
They won the dubious title Hans down after being branded too SMELLY between the sheets.
Spanish men were voted the best, followed by Brazilians and Italians in the 20-nation survey by global research site www.OnePoll.com.
A spokesman said: "Well-travelled women have named and shamed those who don't satisfy them when it comes to making love.
TOP 10
1 Spain. 2 Brazil. 3 Italy. 4 France. 5 Ireland. 6 South Africa. 7 Australia. 8 New Zealand. 9 Denmark. 10 Canada.
BOTTOM 10
1 Germany (too smelly) 2 England (too lazy) 3 Sweden (too quick) 4 Holland (too dominating) 5 America (too rough) 6 Greece (too lovey-dovey) 7 Wales (too selfish) 8 Scotland (too loud) 9 Turkey (too sweaty) 10 Russia (too hairy)
#143
Discover Seattle! / New rhymes for old
Sep 29 09 10:48
There must be thousands, we could have fun with this.
Mary had a little lamb
Which had a touch of colic,
She gave it brandy twice a day
And now it's alcoholic.
Mary had a little lamb
Which had a touch of colic,
She gave it brandy twice a day
And now it's alcoholic.
#144
Discover Seattle! / If
Sep 28 09 11:57
First person asks a question beginning 'if', second person answers it and also asks a question beginning the same way - and so on and so forth
If you could live anywhere you choose, where would it be?
If you could live anywhere you choose, where would it be?
#146
Discover Seattle! / Mobile Broadband
Aug 30 09 11:51
I'm 'wondering' about it. Is it a good idea? What are the pros and cons? Anyone know?
#147
Discover Seattle! / Have You Made Your Will?
Aug 29 09 11:10
Just curios. If you have, how did you find the experience?
#148
Discover Seattle! / Classy Insults
Aug 08 09 02:13
[FONT face=Tahoma color=navy size=2][SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: [/SPAN][/FONT]
[FONT face=Tahoma color=navy size=2][SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]She said, "If I'd be your wife I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: [/SPAN][/FONT]
[P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt"][FONT face=Tahoma color=navy size=2][SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill.
"I feel so miserable without you. It's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself... He is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker [/SPAN][/FONT]
[P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt"][FONT face=Tahoma color=navy size=2][SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilde
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx[/SPAN][/FONT]
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: [/SPAN][/FONT]
[FONT face=Tahoma color=navy size=2][SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]She said, "If I'd be your wife I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: [/SPAN][/FONT]
[P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt"][FONT face=Tahoma color=navy size=2][SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill.
"I feel so miserable without you. It's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself... He is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker [/SPAN][/FONT]
[P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt"][FONT face=Tahoma color=navy size=2][SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"]"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilde
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx[/SPAN][/FONT]
#149
Discover Seattle! / Holiday complaints
Jul 30 09 11:03
[table id="post101371" class="tborder" width="100%" align="center" border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0"][tbody][tr valign="top"][td class="alt1" id="td_post_101371" style="border-right: 1px solid rgb(209, 209, 225);"] (Survey by Thomas Cook and ABTA)
"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store
does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."
"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I
often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be
banned."
"On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost
every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."
"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to
bring our swimming costumes and towels."
A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who
spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this
rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".
A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been
locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not
disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
"The beach was too sandy."
"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your
brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."
A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick
and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was
ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."
"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street
trader, only to find out they were fake."
"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were
startled."
"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only
took the Americans three hours to get home."
"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends'
three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."
"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're
trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"
"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish.
The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."
"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."
"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly
guests before we travel."
"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."
"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a
double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I
find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us
in the room that we booked." [!-- / message --] [/td] [/tr] [tr] [td class="alt1" style="border-right: 1px solid rgb(209, 209, 225);" valign="bottom"]
[/td][/tr][/tbody][/table]
"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store
does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."
"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I
often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be
banned."
"On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost
every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."
"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to
bring our swimming costumes and towels."
A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who
spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this
rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".
A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been
locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not
disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
"The beach was too sandy."
"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your
brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."
A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick
and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was
ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."
"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street
trader, only to find out they were fake."
"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were
startled."
"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only
took the Americans three hours to get home."
"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends'
three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."
"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're
trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"
"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish.
The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."
"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."
"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly
guests before we travel."
"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."
"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a
double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I
find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us
in the room that we booked." [!-- / message --] [/td] [/tr] [tr] [td class="alt1" style="border-right: 1px solid rgb(209, 209, 225);" valign="bottom"]
[/td][/tr][/tbody][/table]
#150
Discover Seattle! / Deep Thinking
Jul 20 09 11:04
Kids in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause kids.
Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
If FED EX and UPS were to merge would they call it FED UP?
If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with "quit while your ahead"?!
If a deaf kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell is he homeless or naked?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
If FED EX and UPS were to merge would they call it FED UP?
If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with "quit while your ahead"?!
If a deaf kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell is he homeless or naked?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?