Messages

Here ya go.......[embed src="http://www.digitalfog.com/video/Cat_Screen_Cleaner.swf" height="400" width="500"]

Prolapsed rectum. That's really horrendous      [img style="font-style: italic;" src="http://www.motleycrow.com/ImageHost/icon_smile_shock.gif"]

No kidding, it makes me wince just reading the words. Ack. Fortunately he's got health insurance but this is the kind of thing that financially destroys most Americans. I don't know what this will cost, but no way it'll be less than $50,000. For most people that would be it- lose your home, everything cent you own and wind up with nothing. You're alive, but destitute. Ain't America great?

All the godless heathen countries (that's everywhere but the U.S. according to Lord Bush) somehow manage to provide healthcare to their citizens. But not here in the U.S.... it's sink or swim baby, and the water is frightfully f*ckin' cold.

America: The Land Of The Fee And Home Of The Knave.

"I love this board with PASSION!!!"

I'm okay with that, as long as you wear protection.

Did we miss you? Maybe, but I've adjusted my windage now so that won't happen again. lol

[all]

One of my best freinds went to emergency surgery last night for a "prolapsed rectum". Yes, it's every bit as bad as it sounds. He ended up going to two surgeries as the first one wasn't sufficient.

To make things even better, he was about to move out of the US to Belize (in 3 days!), so me and a few other folks got to go over his place and pack up all -and I do mean all- of his stuff for storage. Then I find out I'm the [span style="text-decoration: line-through;"]sucker[/span] kind and caring soul they picked to "temporarily" hang on to his two [span style="text-decoration: line-through;"]poop generators[/span] darling kitties "for a few weeks".

So not only did I get to schlep a shitload of heavy boxes around but I also have two very pissed off cats here who are not liking this whole deal one little bit. Right now they're shredding my couch, so I guess that's god's way of telling me that my furniture is too nice.  lol

I can't wait to see him in the hospital- the jokes for this little episode are just kicking at the door trying to get out. It's gonna be brutal, but how often will I get a chance like this? Now help me think of some tasteful butt jokes.

[Feb 05 06]

"This forum doesn't display 'times when posted'?"

Under the title it'll display something like "Feb 05 06".

[EXACTLY]

Holy shit, that looks EXACTLY like a guy I used to work with in Everett.
        [a href="http://www.malleabletruth.com/2006/02/04/ron-burgundy-says/"][img]http://www.boingboing.net/images/stayclassy.jpg" align="left" border="0" height="263" width="350"][/a]

"Karma function "

Heh heh, yep.  

Maybe we can turn it on for a test later and see what people think of it.

"Excellent layout! Very easy to use...it's very similar to what we're used to on DV, only this place has a few more useful features!"

I'm glad ya like it.


"I didn't notice, but can you send PMs here (if registered)?."

Yep, it's got a full-fledged Private Messaging system for all registered users.

"Although I see no need to add more complexity right now, I'm curious about the "karma" function? What does it do? How does it work?"

In brief, it allows people to "tag" or rate a post as to its "quality" (a very general term). Users that get consistently low karma feedback will see some interesting side effects. And since only registered users can apply a Karma rating, it's a very effective way of humiliating and frustrating trolls.

"I copy pasted the above from the stats page. What I'm really curious about is whether the numbers will change, sort of like live update, as our stats change."

Yes, the stats update automatically in real-time.

sorry about the seahawks.

I don't follow 'em, myself, but I know a lot of people here were really pissy last night.

I was just shocked to see the changes. Funny how this thing has been upgraded already and DV hasn't.

Well, like my dear old pappy used to say, "no need to dawdle". He also always used say "You hold the giraffe while I fill the bathtub with brightly-colored machine tools", but I haven't figured out what the hell that one means.  

[Advanced permission and user management.]

[div style="font-style: italic; font-family: Verdana;"]My question is why did you do it?[/div][font style="font-family: Verdana;" size="2"]
Well.....the old board was okay, but it lacked a lot of stuff that people wanted. This one has all the same features the old board had, plus a few additional options. It takes a little getting used to, but I hope ya like it.
[/font][ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Advanced permission and user management.[/li][li]Supports multiple languages at once, including Canadian, eh![/li][li]Tracking of new and old unread topics, not just from your last visit.[/li][li]Designed for optimal performance and scalability.[/li][li]Multi-media output. ([acronym title="Extensible HyperText Markup Language"]XHTML[/acronym], [acronym title="Extensible Markup Language"]XML[/acronym], [acronym title="Really Simple Syndication"]RSS[/acronym], [acronym title="Wireless Application Protocol"]WAP[/acronym])[/li][li]Multi-language support from a large community.[/li][li]Search:         [ul][li]Search the entire forum, a category/board or within a topic.[/li][li]Search within your personal messages.[/li][/ul]      [/li][/ul][h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Forum Settings[/h3][ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Word censoring, either full word or partial.[/li][li]Ability to break up long words.[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Boards and Categories[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Group boards into collapsable categories.[/li][li]Set categories as non-collapsable.[/li][li]Reorder boards within categories, or reorder categories.[/li][li]Create child boards under other boards. (sub boards)[/li][li]Assign moderators to boards.[/li][li]Allow certain membergroups to access a board, including guests [em]only[/em].[/li][li]Configure permissions for each membergroup on the board level.[/li][li]Ability to indicate new posts to child boards but nothing new in parent.[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Member Registration[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Require registration before forum entrance.[/li][li]Require a user to agree to terms before they register.[/li][li]Disable member registration completely (allowing only moderators to register people).[/li][li]Require email authentication by sending an authentication link.[/li][li]Require a moderator to approve registration.[/li][li]Register new members from the admin center.[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Member Navigation and Authentication[/h3][ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Password reminder option, by email with confirmation. (doesn't automatically reset your password.)[/li][li]Both cookie and session based authentication (works without cookies.)[/li][li]Cookies can be set local to a path, global to all subdomains, or normally.[/li][li]Adjustable expiration time for authentication cookies.[/li][/ul][h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Statistics[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Several board statistics (accessible by permission.)[/li][li]Tracking of member's online time in seconds.[/li][li]Tracking of topics, messages, new members, and hits per day.[/li][li]Individual member statistics accessible from their profile.[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]News and Announcements[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Ability to create announcement boards (members receive a notification of topics automatically.)[/li][li]Member option to disable receiving announcements.[/li][li]Email or private message your members by membergroup.[/li][li]Show a news ticker or news fader.[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Communication[/h3][ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Ability to send a topic to a friend.[/li][li]Private messaging system for registered users
[/li][li]Ability to view a "printer friendly" version of topics.[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Membergroups[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Create membergroups to group members on permissions, access rights, and/or appearance.[/li][li]Assign several membergroups to a single member, with one membergroup as the primary group.[/li][li]Define membergroups that are auto-assigned based on the amount of posts a user has.[/li][li]Determine the maximum number of personal messages a membergroup is allowed to have by group.[/li][li]Assign graphical symbol(s) to a membergroup - by primary group.[/li][li]Determine which membergroups are allowed to access a board.[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Banning[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Ban members based on their username, email address, IP address or hostname.[/li][li]Support of wildcards for email address, IP address, and hostname.[/li][li]Include a ban reason (viewable for the banned user).[/li][li]Include a ban note (only viewable by the admins).[/li][li]Chose between full ban, 'no post' ban, or registration ban.[/li][li]Include an expiration time for bans.[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]External integration[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]         Integrate parts of forum software into existing website using SSI or PHP.         [ul][li]Recent topics or posts.[/li][li]Recent news posts in a board.[/li][li]Recent polls.[/li][li]Several forum statistics.[/li][li]List of users online.[/li][li]The menu bar.[/li][li]News.[/li][li]Search.[/li][li]Login/logout.[/li][li]Today's events/birthdays/holidays.[/li][/ul]      [/li][li]         Export forum data using XML/RSS         [ul][li]Latest members.[/li][li]News.[/li][li]Recent posts.[/li][/ul]      [/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Wireless access[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Support for WAP, WAP2 and I-mode protocols.[/li][li]Browse through boards/topics/messages with reduced page size.[/li][li]Ability to login and logout (not with WAP 1.)[/li][li]Ability to see new topics/boards with new replies.[/li][li]Ability to jump to first unread reply.[/li][li]Ability to post new messages (not with WAP 1.)[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Theming and Templating[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Default templates are XHTML 1.0 Transitional and CSS 2.0 compliant.[/li][li]Admin can add smileys and smiley sets.[/li][li]Members can choose which smiley set they wish to use (or none.)[/li][li]Themes can be installed by way of the "latest and greatest themes" panel.[/li][li]SSI can have and show layers and the like from the template system.[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Posting Features[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Spell Check.[/li][li]         Quick Reply         [ul][li]Members can disable it or collapse it.[/li][li]Can be used with "Quote".[/li][li]Also contains "Spell Check".[/li][/ul]      [/li][li]Vast number of "bulletin board codes" to use (including rtl, acronym, and others.)[/li][li]Optional editing grace period before a post is shown as modified.[/li][li]Built-in "Karma" management (optional)
[/li][li]'Insert Quote' feature on posting screen to quickly quote previous replies.[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Polls[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Can be added or removed to existing topics.[/li][li]Ability to set expiration date.[/li][li]Ability to hide results till expiration of poll.[/li][li]Ability to hide results until after people have voted.[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Attachments[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Allowed on a per member group or board basis.[/li][li]Optional restriction on what filetypes may be uploaded.[/li][li]Ability to restrict such that only registered members can view them (disables hotlinking, mostly.)[/li][li]Images can be embedded into posts.[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Calendar Support[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Shows Birthdays, Events and Holidays.[/li][li]Display calendar information on board index.[/li][li]Link an existing topic to the calendar.[/li][li]Allow only certain members/groups post events.[/li][li]Event poster can edit event.[/li][li]Events can span multiple days.[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]Moderation Tools[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]         Ability to lock and unlock a topic.         [ul][li]Topics which are locked by an administrator can not unlocked by anyone else.[/li][/ul]      [/li][li]Ability to allow members to use moderation on just topics they posted.[/li][li]"Report to moderator" link.[/li][li]Delete or modify posts.[/li][li]Ability to Merge/Split topics.[/li][li]Move or delete topics.[/li][li]Sticky or unsticky topics.[/li][li]Moderation log which shows moderation activity and disallows log removal outside of 1 day.[/li][li]AJAX editing:         [ul][li]Edit a post without page reloads.[/li][li]Double click to edit topic subjects on message index.[/li][/ul]      [/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]User Profiles and User Options[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Ability to hide user's email address from the public.[/li][li]Select favorite theme among the activated forum themes.[/li][li]Select their smiley set from the ones available.[/li][li]         Email notification         [ul][li]New topics per board.[/li][li]Single topics.[/li][li]Private messages.[/li][/ul]      [/li][li]Options to hide other members' avatars and signatures.[/li][li]Ability to download and resize uploaded avatars.[/li][li]Personal text, avatar, signature, and all the niceties of forums can be used and are kept up to date in all your posts.[/li][/ul]   [h3 style="font-family: Verdana;"]User Resources[/h3]   [ul style="font-family: Verdana;"][li]Icons for topics you've posted to.[/li][li]Show new replies to [em]your[/em] posts.[/li][li]Collapsible 'Additional Options' on post screen.[/li][li]Ability to view most recent messages.[/li][li]List all topics that have new replies since your last visit.[/li][li]See who is browsing the same boards or topics as you.[/li][li]Topics that span multiple pages have the page numbers listed as well as an "all" link.[/li][/ul][font style="font-family: Verdana;" size="2"]
[/font]

Oops, his clever [span style="text-decoration: line-through;"]spam[/span] post was tragically erased.

I'm thinking it may be time to turn on the Karma options on the board.