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I swear, I can't help but laugh every time I see this.

 Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis in the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis in the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Bill, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"My God, Bill, what happened?"

"I got fired."

"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

"Oh... she got fired too."

[Feminism and Programming Languages]

This HAS to be a joke. HAS TO BE.

Feminism and Programming Languages
http://www.hastac.org/blogs/ari-schlesinger/2013/11/26/feminism-and-programming-languages (http://www.hastac.org/blogs/ari-schlesinger/2013/11/26/feminism-and-programming-languages)

[If only our brains were made of bunghole meat, how much more obnoxious we would be when we pooped.]

"If only our brains were made of bunghole meat, how much more obnoxious we would be when we pooped."



A Twitter 'attribution troll' is showering threats on anyone who tweets a popular one-line poem: (http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20130211/20400521946/bizarre-attribution-troll-bullies-twitter-users-into-compliance-with-baseless-legal-threats.shtml)

On Press Inc., supposedly a division of Knopf Publishing (according to its Twitter profiles), was running a search and issuing tweet after threatening tweet to anyone who dared publish a short (really short -- under 140 characters) poem by reclusive poet, Shaun Shane, without attribution. The entire poem reads as follows: "If only our tongues were made of <we redacted some shitty writing here that sucks monkey balls IMHO>"  The threats--which have apparently escalated to imaginary police investigations over Amazon reviews, too--are baseless, writes TechDirt's Tim Cushing. Even if a tweet-length poem meets the expressive requirements for copyright protection, experts say it's unlikely to generate a credible lawsuit (http://www.canyoucopyrightatweet.com/).



Fascinating update:

*** This is an Official Notice asserting my rights pursuant to §512(c) of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act *** I am the Author Shaun Shane. My U.S. Copyright registered poem "Tongues Made Of Glass" published in my U.S. Copyright registered book " A Poem Is Nothing". page 7. U.S. Copyright registration #U.S. Copyright registration number TX0007685796. is being infringed upon and illegally used at the following Url : http://discoverseattle.net/forums/index.php?topic=8270.0 (http://discoverseattle.net/forums/index.php?topic=8270.0) ( per Whois in hosted by you) by using my poem without attribution to me or my permission in violation Moral Rights Statue  17 U.S. Code § 106A  and so is de facto  plagiarism and must be removed/and or access blocked by you per Statue §512(c),  §512(e)of the U.S. Copyright Law.The text of my copyrighted poem " Tongues Made of Glass." is as follows: if only our tongues were made of glass how much more careful we would be when we speak -  Shaun Shane Here are third party sources showing I am the Author of " Tongues Made of Glass" and that it is published in my book " A Poem Is Nothing".

Here is a link to the U.S. Copyright Office's listing of " A Poem Is Nothing " in which my Poem "Tongues Made of Glass is published.: http://cocatalog.loc.gov/cgi-bin/Pwebrecon.cgi?Search_Arg=poem+is+nothing&Search_Code=TALL&PID=JAeojvVb_WhlaktMCnzB6FGzVZFz&SEQ=20160531121219&CNT=25&HIST=1 (http://cocatalog.loc.gov/cgi-bin/Pwebrecon.cgi?Search_Arg=poem+is+nothing&Search_Code=TALL&PID=JAeojvVb_WhlaktMCnzB6FGzVZFz&SEQ=20160531121219&CNT=25&HIST=1) Additionally, the reported post is in violation of false Light statue 28 U.S. Code § 4101 by claiming that the Publisher On Press had contact with persons mention in the Post. Neither myself nor On Press have had contact with anyone mention in the post and so it is a false and defamatory statement and so is a violation of aforementioned Statue 28 U.S. Code § 4101.

Here's our new poem, inspired by

[Kitten Cannon (http://123game.net/game.php?id=318)]

Am I a bad person for liking this game??

Kitten Cannon (http://123game.net/game.php?id=318)

Very cool. The amount of technology involved in building these cars is incredible.

Automation tour de force: Tesla automobile manufacturing.

4 minutes of pure fascinating:

http://www.youtube.com/embed/8_lfxPI5ObM (http://www.youtube.com/embed/8_lfxPI5ObM)

These people need to be eradicated...attacking a school and burning children alive? Don't expect me to support your "cause".


POTISKUM, Nigeria (AP) -- Islamic militants attacked a boarding school before dawn Saturday, dousing a dormitory in fuel and lighting it ablaze as students slept, survivors said. At least 30 people were killed in the deadliest attack yet on schools in Nigeria's embattled northeast.

Authorities blamed the violence on Boko Haram, a radical group whose name means "Western education is sacrilege." The militants have been behind a series of recent attacks on schools in the region, including one in which gunmen opened fire on children taking exams in a classroom.


Full Story (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/A/AF_NIGERIA_VIOLENCE?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2013-07-06-06-48-15)

I hate it when people park like this........

The Pope says even we dirty, despicable atheists go to heaven: 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/22/pope-francis-good-atheists_n_3320757.html

If that's true, then why bother believing?

Heh heh heh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O95DBxnXiSo

[Three brothers 'who kidnapped three girls and kept them captive for 10 years':]

These guys are SOOO dead, they'll probably be in protective custody for the rest of their lives.

Three brothers 'who kidnapped three girls and kept them captive for 10 years':

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2320519/Amanda-Berry-Gina-DeJesus-Michele-Knight-Ohio-trio-went-missing-TEN-YEARS-ago-ALIVE.html

Lets all cheer for God's Master Plan in action:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2316112/

Isn't it wonderful?

All replicants, please pay attention.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rO-I7butL4

Very cool...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2l0qklSzks#!

Wow.

[Green Dragon]

Behind the bars of some of the nation's finest cocktail joints, there are secrets: secret recipes, secret bottles for friends only. One of these is the Green Dragon, a liquor potently infused with marijuana.

But one prominent New York bartender (I'll call him Jon) has been responsible for bringing the infusion up to date with modern, artisanal cocktail culture. Jon is a serious, technologically minded craftsman of beverages; he works as a cocktail consultant, and has designed the cocktail programs of more than one Manhattan bar.

"Ten years ago, I had gotten my hands on this ungodly amount of hash. We couldn't smoke it all. So we started putting it into neutral grain spirit, and it dissolved in, but the thing was, we couldn't get as high. So we gave up and forgot about it for a week, and meanwhile it sat in the car in the 120° sun for a week. The next time, we took a couple of drops and it destroyed us."

"What happened? THC [the main active ingredient in cannabis] normally has a carboxyl group that's attached to it. In order for it to fit into the lock-and-key mechanism of our bodies' cannabinoid receptors, you have to break off the carboxyl group. That takes 30 years--or heat."

He's refined a method that's quick, gives precise, predictable results, and reportedly maximizes the delicious herbal flavor of the drug, to provide a civilized sippable for the beverage connoisseur.

Nitrous Green Dragon (http://www.popsci.com/diy/article/2013-04/mystery-nitrous-powered-pot-infused-liquor)

Here's how Jon does it:

Ingredients:

   a one-liter whipped-cream whipper (http://www.popsci.com/technology/gallery/2012-12/gifts-technically-minded-cook?image=3)
two nitrous oxide chargers
a double boiler large enough to accommodate the whipper bottle
750 ml mezcal at room temperature (Jon uses Vida or Sombra)
3.5 grams (1/8 ounce) of cannabis (Jon uses "indoor high-grade sativa")

   Roughly break up the cannabis.
Put the cannabis and the mezcal in the whipper bottle.
Close the canister and charge it with two charges of N2O according to the instructions.
Let it sit for 5 minutes.
Vent out the pressurized gas. NOTE: you are venting aerosolized ethanol with THC dissolved in it, as well as laughing gas. Jon says "Probably nobody would want to inhale this."
Stir the liquid and let it sit until the gas boils off.
Place the sealed canister in a double boiler and let it simmer for an hour.
Strain the solids out of the liquid and discard them or dry them for other uses. The liquid is nitrous green dragon.

The effect of the drug should remain steady for about four hours. One to one-and-a-half ounces is what Jon considers a single serving; six ounces is his maximum imaginable dose.

Full story: http://www.popsci.com/diy/article/2013-04/mystery-nitrous-powered-pot-infused-liquor (http://www.popsci.com/diy/article/2013-04/mystery-nitrous-powered-pot-infused-liquor)

Have a look:

http://imgur.com/a/sUrnA

Credit to 4Chan for crowdsourcing the image searches. These f*ckers are so busted.

[Heh]

Heh    See more at the Link (http://piraku.ru/chudesa/svetlana-kolosova-kartiny-na-ladoshke) (Translation (http://translate.google.com/translate?sl=ru&tl=en&js=n&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&eotf=1&u=http%3A%2F%2Fpiraku.ru%2Fchudesa%2Fsvetlana-kolosova-kartiny-na-ladoshke))

Oh yeah, the stuff nightmares are made of. Say hello to "PETMAN".


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFrjrgBV8K0

Used to test the performance of protective clothing designed for hazardous environments. The video shows initial testing in a chemical protection suit and gas mask. PETMAN has sensors embedded in its skin that detect any chemicals leaking through the suit. The skin also maintains a micro-climate inside the clothing by sweating and regulating temperature.

[The Venn Diagram of Irrational Nonsense]

The Venn Diagram of Irrational Nonsense

It's snowing here, and not just a little bit.

Thank goodness the first day of Spring was yesterday. *cough*

A friend is getting married and he asked me what it's like. I sent him this pic and said, "It's like this........"

(http://discoverseattle.net/image/gettingmarried.gif)

Try not to gasp at the awesomeness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pii4G8FkCA4

['This Is Your Second and Final Notice' Robocallers Revealed]

'This Is Your Second and Final Notice' Robocallers Revealed

You've probably gotten calls from these a**holes. They also run the "Rachel from account services" robocalls.

Now YOU can call them TOLL FREE and let them know how much you enjoy their calls! Every call to them costs them about a dollar.

You can call them at 855-462-3833 and explain to them why they should die in a fire. Here's part of the story on them:


A New York Times consumer columnist tracked down the people who run a 'This is your second and final notice" robocall operation (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/24/your-money/telemarketers-tactics-and-regulators-response-elicit-complaints.html?_r=3&). The calls came from Account Management Assistance, which promises to negotiate lower credit card rates with banks. One woman paid them $1,000, and all they did was give her a limited-time zero-percent credit card that she could have gotten herself. AMA has a post office box in Orlando, Florida.

The Better Business Bureau has a page for Your Financial Ladder, which does business as Account Management Assistance, and as Economic Progress. According to a Florida incorporation filing, Economic Progress is operated by Brenda Helfenstine, with her husband Tony. The Arkansas attorney general has sued Your Financial Ladder for violating the Telemarketing Consumer Fraud and Abuse Prevention Act.

The Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services investigated Your Financial Ladder, but the investigator went to 1760 Sundance Drive, St. Cloud, which turned out to be a residence, and gave up. The Times notes that you can type their phone number (855-462-3833) into http://800notes.com/ (http://800notes.com/) and get lots of reports on them.

[Operation Unintended Consequences]

Enjoy...



I live near Seattle in a small town that has a Planned Parenthood clinic. Quite often when I go by it there are protesters out front with signs, protesting the presence of the clinic. I really detest these meddling a**holes, and I decided to mount a demoralization operation against them. I call it Operation Unintended Consequences, the reasons for which will become clear in a moment.

So anyway, today my son and I drove by, and there they were, a little group of moralistic f*cktards. We parked near them and I got out, made a show of counting how many of them there were (there were 6 of them today), and then I went into the Planned Parenthood clinic.

I asked the lady at the front desk if she would like to see the protesters go away, or failing that, if she'd like to see them go home demoralized and unhappy. She said she would.

So I took out an checkbook from an old, no longer valid bank account, and I wrote a bogus check for $6000.00. I tore up the check and told the front desk lady to wait until I left, and then go out and wave to the protesters and shout "Thank you!".

I left the clinic and and walked over to the protesters. I said hello, and then I launched into my story. Here's what I told them...

"I'm (fake name) and I noticed you out here. You know, I may not look like much, but the fact is, I'm pretty damn well off. To put it bluntly, I'm f*cking rich. I started a software company in the 1980's; we made a bit of software that ended up being bought by Yahoo for a little over a five and a half million dollars. After that I started two other software companies and they've also done quite well. (BIG GRIN) So even though I may live a simple life and don't dress fancy, the truth is that I have more money than I know what to do with."

"In short, I think what you're doing is wrong, so I just wrote a check to Planned Parenthood. I gave them a thousand dollars for each one of you out here." I opened my checkbook and let them get a good close look at the carbon copy part of the check for $6000.00, payable to "Planned Parenthood". They couldn't hide their shock at seeing the check, lol. A couple of them reacted like they'd been slapped. The consternation in the air was palpable (and delicious, lol).

But I wasn't done, oh no. I went on...

"So here's the deal- I come by here once or twice a week, and every time I see you a**holes out here I'm going to write Planned Parenthood a check, and it's gonna be a thousand bucks for each one of you that are here that day."

"If three of you idiots show up, they'll get three thousand bucks. If five of you are here, they'll get five thousand bucks. I'll probably cap it at ten grand per check, but honestly, I can do this every single week for the rest of my life if I want and it won't even put a dent in my bank account."

"In other words, the more you show up, the more money Planned Parenthood gets." I smiled, looking each of them in the eye.

The look on their faces was f*cking priceless.

I told them to "Have a nice day", and I got in my car and drove off.

I'm going to do this every time I see them. Let's see how long the protesters last.

[nothing]

Great reaction to the Russian meteor...apparently nothing phases this guy. 100% total bad ass.


(http://discoverseattle.net/image/russian_meteor_reaction.gif)

A 15th century manuscript showing cat prints. Cats- f*ckin' yer shit up since, well, forever.

[Georgia state Rep. Earnest Smith is pure comedy gold.]

Georgia state Rep. Earnest Smith is pure comedy gold.

The brain-damaged state lawmaker from Georgia is terribly, terribly upset that someone used Photoshop to put his head on a porn star's body....and he's soooooooo upset that now he wants to propose legislation (!!) that would ban any kind of "lewd Photoshopping".

"No one has a right to make fun of anyone," he says.

That's right, one of our elected representatives is so unfamiliar with the 1st Amendment that he actually thinks that it's illegal to make fun of someone or parody them.

Needless to say, this is utter horsecrap, and it shows an appalling lack of understanding of the law, the 1st Amendment, and most importantly, the Streisand Effect (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streisand_effect). It should come as no surprise that he's from Georgia, where the official state motto is "At Least We're Not Alabama".

Earnest Smith Wants to Outlaw These Images. Tell Him What You Think (http://georgiaunfiltered.blogspot.com/2013/02/earnest-smith-wants-to-outlaw-these.html)

A couple of articles on the incredible stupidity of Earnest Smith:
http://www.opposingviews.com/i/politics/georgia-state-rep-earnest-smith-wants-ban-vulgar-photoshopping

http://savannahnow.com/latest-news/2013-02-11/nude-photo-spurs-action-georgia-house-bill#.URlH8aW7PGA

[really]

Damn, I really want to do this to my car.

Plasti Dip is a coating often used on the handles of tools, but car modders have found that it is way way cool to do to a car. If you don't like the result, it just peels right off, doesn't hurt the paint, doesn't leave any permanent mark. Frickin' awesome!

http://youtu.be/qgWD2mMDsEI

The moment George Takai became gay....

(http://discoverseattle.net/image/The_moment_George_Takai_became_gay.gif)