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Yes you can do it all. Anything is possible. If you can't get pregnant the old fashion way you could always do inevtro that takes a long process though.
40 isn't what it used to be in having kids. We are living much longer now. By the time I croak for example the life expentance will probably be around 90.
greycat wrote:
Can one have it all?
No, and this is one of the big myths that is often repeated but rarely acheived. You're told you can have it all, but you can't. No one can. It's just not the way it is. You can come close, though, if you're willing to make some choices about what you want versus what you must have. Please don't believe anyone who claims that "you can have it all". Unless you're bloody f*cking rich, you can't. And if that were the case you probably wouldn't be asking the question, eh?
Any creative ideas welcomed! ???
I conciously made a decision several years ago to "get out of the loop" with respect to the 9-to-5 thing and stop working for someone else. I had to make some hard choices, and I certainly don't have it all. But I do have my freedom, the ability to do what I want when I want, and I can choose what I want to do. I also have no commute. What did I give up? Lots of things, but it turns out that with a few exceptions, they weren't all that important to begin with.
It may sound silly, but look into web design or (ack!) programming. These are all things that can be learned without a huge investment in time or money, and can be done from home or at a conventional job. There are lots of other possibilities too, it just depends on what you like to do. If you're a graphic artist you can leverage those skills fairly well.
I must say, 40 is a risky age to get pregnant. Think carefully before doing this as it can be a terrible mistake. I have friends that did this and now they wish they didn't. I won't go into details, but they have a child that is going to require full-time care for the rest of its life- not exactly what they'd bargained for. (//forums/richedit/smileys/Sad/10.gif)
anything is possible. But still renting at 40 and wanting to buy a place in BC, that could be tough. All of BC, though not as pricy as the Lower Mainland, has got pretty expensive. best of luck. You realize your will be well into your 60s when your kid is graduating!?!
Age should not matter although I must point out that the chances of getting pregnant and having a safe pregnancy decreases as you age. Once you hit the 35 years mark, you'll be needing a lot more attention but if your doctor gives the go-ahead and you're relatively healthy, then by all means do so.
Having a child in your life is one of the greatest reward ever. I can't imagine my life without my kids and if I had to do it all over again, I would do so without giving a second thought.
I think greycat, if you really want to have a child and be a sucessful graphic designer, you can do it. My cousin is in the same boat. She's a stay-at-home mother who's into graphic design. She started her own web company and gradually, through word of mouth, and the support of her family, she has enough of a income to bring into the family. She's very ambitious and has plans to upgrade her business in the future.
I believe you can do it!
like I said, anything is possible. you should get a house asap though!
I don't know what is a turning point. If I look at my life I'm at a turning point. I'm 20, spent two years in turmoil putting my life on hold to help out the family survive. Its been tough, especially for someone who still hasn't technically finished high school. (half of a class left should be done by american thanksgiving). Then I've got to write a college essay get in to the school and move to Seattle. Thats a lot for me in a short period of time.
Talk about a turning point. It will be like all of a sudden waking up and saying where am I? I am looking forward to that day, the day I can say I made. Came from behind, made something out of myself when everyone said you're crazy or okay whatever its just SD talking again. Its my time to show them, no more talk, I'll have actions to back up my ideas. I can do it. Plus I'm not even counting the drive I'm going to take to get there. All by myself, lol like a movie. Its weird looking into the future and seeing the unknown. I'd never would have thought I'd be in this situation. But I wouldn't ask for a redo. I've learned to much in the process about who I am and such.
I know for one thing I've out grown my surroundings. I must leave. There's nothing here for me. I've been in the process of cutting ties with this area. That probably wasn't the best decision because once those bridges are burned there burned and its hard to rebuild. But I just can't go on living in dull drums anymore. Must see the world. I don't have a midwest perspective on life anyway. Not much to be proud of here.
So as I walk towards the sunset I have no idea whats in the future, I could be great, sad or depressing or it could lead into a giant failure I don't know. But if its anything its better then saying I didn't try. Because not trying is worse then failing at something. Because if you failed you know you atleast tried and gave it your all. Not trying brings in what ifs and I'm tired of the what ifs.
That's deep, brother, really deep. (http://discoverseattle.net/forums/richedit/smileys/Happy/20.gif)
No, and this is one of the big myths that is often repeated but rarely acheived. You're told you can have it all, but you can't. No one can. It's just not the way it is. You can come close, though, if you're willing to make some choices about what you want versus what you must have.
I agree TehBorken. I believe one can have it all, but SOMETHING is going to suffer. I've never wanted it all, so perhaps I have no business commenting. I think you can only divide yourself into so many sections before something isn't going to get the proper 'share'. Having said that, working from your home is at least a step in the right direction when you have children. (and just to clarify, NO, I don't think that mothers who aren't working at home are bad mothers)
But I believe that you DO end up taking from one area to give to another because some things require more of you. You run the risk of having nothing left of yourself.
Thanks Lise, you yourself have one of those stories in my eyes. Look how far you've come.
Thats my biggest problem I've had to deal with in my life. I've lived to much in the legend of my grandparents. Grandpa lived in a house in Hungary that had dirt floors. At 13 said he'd had enough of being a peasant to his mom said goodbye never saw her again and walked across to the Austrian border with a friend and brother. Found work for a count who lived on a giant farm became a farm hand ate out of a giant soup kettle with 20 other people. Was a good worker was rewarded with a dog named Ralphie. Was forced into the German army when hitler took over Austria. Drove a truck. Escaped when driving in a convoy evaded SS army guys who were shooting at him. Used his Austrian passport to get out of the country while hiding at his bosses farm. Was taught english. Left Ralphie and Europe behind.
Grandma was born in her never learned english until the 60's. Went back to Hungary before the war with her family they had some land there and was going to stay there. Stalin and his gang of fools took over Hungary. She was sent to a force labour camp in Eastern Poland for 3 years. Watched people die in front of her. Took mold of off bread. Worked in the coal mines got eventually developed black lung disease from it.
My great aunt was caught in East Germany when the wall came up. Her and a bunch of other people escaped under the wall at Check Point Charlie. Was shot at by Russian snipers. One bullet killed the person in front of her. She made it out. But her husband died in the war.
Thats my problem. I've been trying to live up to that ever since I was born. I'm the only one in the family who cares about my grandparents and what they went through.
The frank KING! wrote:
anything is possible.
That is such a load of newage feel-good shit. Anything is not possible, so quit winding her up. Yes, if your rich like Bill Gates anything is possible but shes not so quit telling her it is.
Just like the American dream is a sham. I can't believe how many people in this country who are poor or middle class think they'll be driving porsches in 5 years. Or blue collar people voting republican because they make them fell good with all this tax cut crap when the party is only looking to give the rich a huge tax cut and could careless about the poor. American dream is dead.
Sportsdude wrote:
Just like the American dream is a sham.
Yep. That's why they call it a 'dream'. It's not real, but no one seems to notice that....they just keep on watching American Idol and voting republican, as if everything is going to work out okay. It's not. The US is in for some very rough times ahead and it's going to get a lot worse. A lot worse. We'll look back on this and refer to it as "the good old days". Mark my words.
Ever since I've been reading Roman history since 2nd grade I put two and two together and figured out America is in its Pax Romana. That was when the Roman Empire was at its best. Then when I knew a 9/11 was going to happen I soon realized the Pax Romana was over and we are on our way down. Now I know for a fact we are out of our Pax Romana days and into our decline.
I don't know if they are still around, but there used to be houses for sale that were classed as fixer-uppers. The framework was sound, but the interior and wiring and plumbing all needed repairing or upgrading. It you and your husband are handy with tools, it might be a cheaper alternative. I doubt there would be many in the Lower Mainland, but it is something to consider.
I looked at housing sales for fun a couple of weeks ago and it seems Mission has the cheapest homes but thats in the middle of nowhere I think.
Mission is in the middle of nowhere. Surrey is getting expensive as well. Can't believe the prices of houses these days.
It will drop.....someday.
Drop someday? Dunno. The way the housing prices are going, I can't see that happening. Perhaps after the 2010 Olympics.
Another reason why I did not support the 2010 Olympics. I've seen it happened in Sydney to know the effects of the Olympics. *sigh*
What happend in Sydney?
Please, please dont turn this thread into an argument about housing prices dropping or getting worse...thats what www.realestatetalk is for. I know where to find a house for under $200,000 and that is part of the plan.
I lived in Mission for a few years. I never thought it was in the middle of nowhere.
Okay then greycat sorry, then the final answer is really up to you. Its not our life its yours you do what you think is right.
I am a horrible decision maker...it takes forever...obviously. I just wondered how this situation looks from an objective point of view and if there were any others out there who were still struggling with their lives at this late date, or still trying to make major life decisions. Seems ppl get married in their 20s or 30s, start spittin out the babies, get mortgaged up and by the time they are 40 they are having a midlife crisis! I feel like i am just starting out all the time, its crazy.
Sportsdude wrote:
What happend in Sydney?[/DIV]
Sorry greycat, at the risk of hijacking your thread - the housing prices in Sydney skyrocketed with the Millenium games. Has never come down. Sydney is still paying for the game, they're in debt right now.... as with any other countries who have hosted the games.
LOL. Greycat you dissed me earlier saying I couldn't be going through the same thing but truely I am. I'm 20 still haven't finished high school because I had to 'drop out' to help the family. Working on finishing it but all my friends now are away in college. Sophmores already and here I am still stuck in the mud. I feel like I haven't experienced anything in life. I feel I've missed out on the world. I feel that once I get to university I'll just be taken advantage of because I'll be of legal drinking age and the 16,17,18 year old freshman will just use me for beer. I worry about being the oldest in my class. I feel like I'm missing out on life and life has passed me by. People out there are having fun, exploring the world and I'm still doing this thankless job and come home and get yelled at because I didn't do enough. LoL, I know how you feel.
I really don't have any friends.
I've never had a girlfriend of any kind. (but thats mostly my fault I signed a pact with myself back in 5th grade never to date anyone from the midwest)
I'm all by myself.
Yeah I know how it feels you feel like you are in the grey area and are lost.
Hey Greycat. This is just my impression of your posts so far in this thread. I don't mean to offend.
[hr style="width: 100%; height: 2px;"]It's called procrastination. You're putting things off, probably not on purpose, so that you could get other things done. In your mind, marriage and having kids wasn't that important as having a stable job first. So, you procrastinated throughout your years in life and then it's just recently that you start to really sit down and think about what you have done thus far.
I find that many people stop or don't do much because they put their age first. Why is that necessary? I hear, "oh, I'm 45, I can't lose the weight like I used to" or "Oh, I get so tired these days when I get older." The more someone tells him/herself that, the more the body and mind start to make it real. Then your heart believes it and guess what, he/she gets depressed and depression may lead to diseases. Disease is merely a dis ease. Anyways, I feel that you could really have your child and buy that house when you take the steps to get there. Take one step at a time. Sit down and do up a flow chart. When you have given your all, and nothing turns out the way you wanted it, at least you will continue living your life with no regrets.
Like SD mentioned, no more what "if's." Try now and see where it'll lead you.
I hope this makes sense and have helped you.
Greycat....prioritize your goals. If you and your husband seriously want a kid then set this as your first priority as ageing is out of your control. Buying a house or changing career will depend on your finacial situation and the cost of raising that kid.
Dargon wrote:
The frank KING! wrote:
anything is possible.
That is such a load of newage feel-good shit. Anything is not possible, so quit winding her up. Yes, if your rich like Bill Gates anything is possible but shes not so quit telling her it is.
I guess your mind is pretty simple.
Do you know what "anything" means? It is a wide range of possibilities. Anything can range from going to jail, or to winning the lottery and going to Barbados.
Dargon..tsk tsk!!
Lise wrote:
Mission is in the middle of nowhere. Surrey is getting expensive as well. Can't believe the prices of houses these days. [/DIV]
A place like Mission would be great, if a person worked in Mission instead of having to commute into Vancouver.
My dad said he remembers people saying house prices would drop after Expo 86 too. Hahhaaa! That is funny, after seeing what happened in the Lower Mainland.
greycat wrote:
I know where to find a house for under $200,000 and that is part of the plan.
In Idaho??
If you want to have kids greycat you will, there's really nothing stopping you on that front. For the first 2 years of my life I lived out of an apartment, then my parents found a house only to have it burn down a year later. (oh well). I don't want this to turn into the regrets thread but if you do not have kids I can almost garuntee you'll what if yourself later on in life. I say go for it.
Thanks Sportsdude, i have a feeling you are right about that!
...and thanks for the karmas kind folks : )