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What's the worst fashion problem you've fallen victim to?
 
 Mine would be stirrup pants, oversized sweater, shirt collar turned up, long strands of fake pearls and white Reebok high tops.  With "big bar hair".
 

[span id="article"][font face="Verdana,Sans-serif"][font color="black" size="2"][span id="article"][span id="intelliTXT"] OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) - Oklahoma already has the strawberry as its official fruit, so the state Senate cleared the way Tuesday to [span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 64);"]declare the watermelon the state vegetable[/span].[/p] The measure was introduced in the House by Democratic Rep. Joe Dorman of Rush Springs, site of an annual watermelon festival in August.
 [/p] Full Story: [a href="http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070418/D8OIO8780.html"]http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070418/D8OIO8780.html[/a]
 [/p] [/span][/span][/font][/font][/span]  

Here's a weblog of last meals from death row:
 [a href="http://www.deadmaneating.com/"]http://www.deadmaneating.com/[/a]
 
 Personally, I'd order steak and spaghetti.
   

[span id="article"][font face="Verdana,Sans-serif"][font color="black" size="2"][span id="article"][span id="intelliTXT"]CAPE CORAL, Fla. (AP) - A woman arrested for shoplifting has blamed the crime on irritable bowel syndrome, authorities said. Helen Gallo, 61, of Clearwater, was arrested Sunday after allegedly shoplifting from a Cape Coral grocery store, The Daily Breeze of Cape Coral reported.[/p]Gallo reportedly told authorities that she could not wait in line because she has irritable bowel syndrome, according to the newspaper.
 [/p] Full Story: [a href="http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070417/D8OI2LSO4.html"]http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070417/D8OI2LSO4.html[/a]
 [/p] [/span][/span][/font][/font][/span]  

Does The Clapper actually work?  Does anyone have one?  Have you seen one for sale lately?
 
 I keep falling asleep reading with the lights on, so I could probably use a Clapper.
 
 I can roll over my glasses (titanium frames), but it's damn annoying sleeping with the lights on every night!
   

[p align="right"][a href="/email.friend?postingID=313079142"]email  this posting to a friend[/a][/p]  [h2])i( LADIES, DO I HAVE A CAR FOR YOU ! )i( - $3000[/h2]   Reply to: [a href="mailto:[email protected]?subject=%20%20%20%20%20%20%7di%7b%20%20LADIES,%20DO%20I%20HAVE%20A%20CAR%20FOR%20YOU%20%21%20%7di%7b%20-%20$3000"][email protected][/a]
 Date:  2007-04-16, 1:54PM PDT
 
 
 Finally !!! After 2 1/2 years of dating my  wife and now being married to her for 1 1/2 years ..she has finally decided to  sell her ...get this...
 "BRIGHT HOT PINK 94 GEO TRACKER"
 Yes that's  right! She is selling it!!!!
 No more funny looks when Im driving it ,my 13  year old son never has to worry and "just die of embarrassment", if any of his  friends see him in it. And best of all, no more teen boys hooting out the window  at me, yelling "Let's see you TOPLESS!" Yah, I know my wife actually bought that  at the PNE ,a license plate frame "Wait til you see me topless" I'll even throw  that in with the car.
 She is asking $3000....but hey you can make me an  offer...any offer,I'll consider it!
 Now a "Hot Pink" car like this won't  last long,so give me a call
 Rod 604 671 9533 (my cell ,my wife doesn't have  to know!)
 
 PS $35 to fill the tank ...and really if you think about it,  you won't be driving it much your boyfriend or husband will prefer to drive his  car!
 The tires are new, great condition black soft top. 200km
 The  drivers side door has been fixed...wife opened the door while listening to the  radio , a song came on she liked ,forgot the door was open and bent it back  driving back into her parents fence.Past "Air Care"  [table summary="craigslist hosted images"]  [tbody] [tr] [td align="middle"]
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  [ul class="blurbs"] [li]This item has been posted by-owner.  [/li][li]Location: South Surrey  [/li][li]it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial  interests[/li] [/ul]
 PostingID: 313079142
   

[span id="article"][font face="Verdana,Sans-serif"][font color="black" size="2"][span id="article"][span id="intelliTXT"] LONDON (AP) - When it comes to wacky titles, a book on rogue shopping carts goes straight to the express lane for winners.[/p] "The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification" was named the winner Friday of the Bookseller/Diagram Prize for oddest book title.[/p] The book, written by Buffalo, N.Y.-based artist Julian Montague and published by Harry N. Abrams, offers a mock-scientific taxonomy of the varieties of lost shopping carts, from the simply discarded to the elaborately vandalized.
 [/p] Full Story:  [a href="http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070415/D8OGPH0G0.html"]http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070415/D8OGPH0G0.html[/a]
 [/p] Stray Shopping Cart Project:  [a href="http://www.strayshoppingcart.com/"]http://www.strayshoppingcart.com[/a]
 [span id="article"][font face="Verdana,Sans-serif"][font color="black" size="2"][span id="article"][div class="KonaBody"][span id="intelliTXT"][!-- Subject: Book Titles   --]
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Knut, the bear cub in the Berlin Zoo has teething pain.  Poor guy.  He's off display and "resting on his blanket" today.
 
 .
 
 [a href="http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=2007-04-16_D8OHP29O6&show_article=1&cat=breaking"]http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=2007-04-16_D8OHP29O6&show_article=1&cat=breaking[/a]
   

[Any predictions? State your choice and your virtual wager.]

Any predictions?  State your choice and your virtual wager.
 --
 
 I'm putting $50 cyberbucks on Vancouver.  Despite the injury list, I think they can come back with dogged determination.  This may be wishful thinking, mind you...
   

  Let's have a black celebration
  Black Celebration
  Tonight
  To celebrate the fact
  That we've seen the back
  Of another black day
  I look to you
  How you carry on
  When all hope is gone
  Can't you see
  Your optimistic eyes
  Seem like paradise
  To someone like me
  I want to take you in my arms
  Forgetting all I couldn't do today
 
 -Black Celebration by Depeche Mode
   

[a href="http://grouphug.us/"]http://grouphug.us/[/a]
 
 anonymous online confessions, in case there's something you need to get out of your system!
   

not that it matters...
 --
 
 I was all over the map.
 Took AP classes with the brainiacs.
 Ran sports with the jocks.
 Generally hung with the jokers, smokers and midnight tokers.
   

I thought we could use an Advice Column.  We're always asking each other questions and/or giving unsolicited advice, so let's condense it into a single thread.  Post your questions and answers!
 --
 
 
   

Not big life-changing things, but what are the little hurdles?
 
 I'd like to:
 do a 1-armed pushup
 overcome my fear of parallel parking
 take care of office paperwork more efficiently
   

Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits
 teh BEST Dire Straits song ever
 
 A lovestruck Romeo sings the streets a serenade
  Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
  Finds a streetlight steps out of the shade
  Says something like "you and me babe, how about it?"
 
  Juliet says "hey, it's Romeo, you nearly gave me a heart attack"
  He's underneath the window she's singing "hey la my boyfriend's back
  You shouldn't come around here singing up at people like that"
  Anyway what you gonna do about it?
 
  Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start
  And I bet that you exploded into my heart
  And I forget I forget the movie song
  When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong?
  Juliet
 
  Come up on different streets, they both were streets of shame
  Both dirty, both mean, yes and the dream was just the same
  And I dreamed your dream for you and now your dream is real
  How can you look at me as if I was just another one of your deals?
 
  When you can fall for chains of silver
  You can fall for chains of gold
  You can fall for pretty strangers
  And the promises they hold
  You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, yeah
  Now you just say "oh Romeo, yeah, you know I used to have a scene with him"
 
  Juliet, when we made love you used to cry
  You said "I love you like the stars above, I'll love you till I die"
  There's a place for us you know the movie song
  When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong?
  Juliet
 
  I can't do the talk so like the talk on the TV
  And I can't do a love song like the way it's meant to be
  I can't do everything, but I'll do anything for you
  I can't do anything except be in love with you
 
  And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
  All I do is keep the beat and the bad company
  Now all I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme
  Juliet, I'd do the stars with you any time
 
  Juliet, when we made love you used to cry
  You said I love you like the stars above, I'll love you till I die
  There's a place for us you know the movie song
  When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong?
  Juliet
 
  A lovestruk Romeo sings the streets a serenade
  Laying everybody low with a lovesong that he made
  Finds a convinient streetlight, steps out of the shade
  Says something like "you and me babe, how about it?"
 
  "You and me babe, how about it?"
   

 [a href="http://www.norcalblogs.com/commission/archives/2007/04/remember_the_ja.html"]http://www.norcalblogs.com/commission/archives/2007/04/remember_the_ja.html[/a]
 
 As we celebrate Easter and bunnies get the spotlight, please remember the Jackalope.
Please sign the petition.
 

[April 4, 2007, 2:00PM]

     [span class="timestamp"]
 April  4, 2007,  2:00PM
[/span]    [span class="storyheading3"]Food spill #1: Blue cheese dressing derailed
[/span]            [/p] [div class="inlinead" style="margin-top: 0px; width: 260px;"][div style="padding-bottom: 3px; width: 260px;" class="noPrint"][table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="260"][tbody][tr][td height="20"]
 [/td][td height="20"]
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 [/td][td][/td] [/tr] [tr] [td colspan="2"][div style="margin-left: 6px;"] [script type="text/XXXXscript"]    if (MCP_PLUCK) (       gSiteLife.Recommend("ExternalResource",PluckItemID);    )    [/script] [/div][/td][/tr] [/tbody][/table] [/div][!-- end toolbox --] [!-- Airport Code (Kayak) --]  [!-- end Airport Code (Kayak) --]          [!-- [TM  PL_VAR NAME="f.component.6"]  --]   [/div]    [!--  rbox ends here --]     MECCA, Calif. — A train derailment in the Southern California desert spilled gallons of blue cheese dressing into a canal leading to the Salton Sea.[/p]   Cleaning up the smelly mess will take a few days, Union Pacific officials said Wednesday.[/p]   The 52-car train was carrying a variety of cargo from Dupo, Ill., to Los Angeles, said Union Pacific spokesman Joe Arbona.[/p]   Nineteen of the cars derailed, dumping bulk containers of the dressing, other food products and concrete sealant. The cause of the Tuesday afternoon derailment and the amount of materials spilled had not been determined.[/p]   The spilled dressing and other materials flowed into the Coachella Canal about a mile from the north shore of the Salton Sea, hazardous materials specialist Robert Becker said.[/p]   "There was blue cheese — a lot of it," Becker said.[/p]   The canal was dammed and there was no threat to the salty Salton Sea, Becker said.[/p]   The train's three crew members were uninjured but a Riverside County firefighter was taken to a hospital for treatment of heat exposure, Battalion Chief Jorge Rodriguez said.
 [/p] Full Story: [a href="http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/bizarre/4688034.html"]http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/bizarre/4688034.html[/a]
 [/p]  

 BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese woman survived a plunge from a sixth-floor balcony thanks to a convenient pile of excrement which broke her fall, local media said.The accident happened when the woman was hanging out laundry on Monday in Nanjing, capital of the eastern province of Jiangsu, the Kuaibao tabloid said on its Web site (www.kuaibao.net)."Workers happened to be emptying the building's septic tank, which had not been tended for a long time and had regularly blocked sewage pipes," the newspaper said."She probably stretched out too far and fell ... right on to a 20 cm-thick heap of excrement."
 The woman suffered only slight injuries, the newspaper said.In March, a six-year-old girl broke only her left leg when she fell six floors on to a pile of snow in the northeastern province of Heilongjiang.
 © Reuters 2007. All Rights Reserved.

What are they?  Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens?
 
 

Scotty's ashes to be sent into space later this month.  They'd better hurry up before Keith Richards gets ahold of them.  
 [a href="http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0402Doohan02-ON.html"]
 http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0402Doohan02-ON.html[/a]  

I'll start:
 
 wankle rotary engine
 Regina
   

Let's make her a virtual gift basket, now that she's quit her job.  Feel free to throw in some money, or some nice little presents.
 
 I'll start with:
 
 bottle of homemade red wine
 jar of homemade red pepper jelly (made by my cousin)
 
   

Smells like a lawsuit scam to me!  Read on:[a href="http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0326petfood-woman26-ON.html"] http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0326petfood-woman26-ON.html[/a]  

Bruce Allen suggested today on CKNW that the excessive number of Stanley Park geese could be fed to homeless people.  Apparently, Detroit is suggesting just that- serving Goose for Easter dinner!?
 News Link [a href="http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news/story.html?id=3c0ac67a-1c35-4e56-9061-d8e297f50677&k=71745"]http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news/story.html?id=3c0ac67a-1c35-4e56-9061-d8e297f50677&k=71745[/a]
     

...or the B.C./Washington areas.  Just wondering.  If you don't reside here in the past or present, or plan to move here in the future---brought you to DS/DV?

For Russ.

link here to [A href="http://www.snopes.com/critters/mishaps/chain.htm"]full story[/A]

    Two guys are walking thru the woods and come across this big deep hole.  "Wow . . . that looks deep."  "Sure does . . . toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."  They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise.  "Jeeez. That is REALLY [NOBR]deep . . .[/NOBR] [NOBR]here . . .[/NOBR] throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise."  They pick up a couple of football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and [NOBR]wait . . .[/NOBR] and wait. Nothing. They look at each other in amazement.  One gets a determined look on his face and says, [NOBR]"Hey . . .[/NOBR] over here in the weeds, there's a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in, it's GOTTA make some noise."  The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a sound comes from the hole. Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as its legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole. The two men are astonished with what they've just seen.  Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over. [NOBR]"Hey . . .[/NOBR] you two guys seen my goat out here?"  "You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen. It came running like crazy and just jumped into this hole!"  "Nah", says the farmer, "that couldn't have been MY goat. My goat was chained to a railroad tie."

Rules: Category and Answer are given.  Next player gives the question- then posts a new category and Answer.  Got it?

  Category: Rock Music

Answer: Band from Sheffield, England with a one-armed drummer.

  Question:

What's yours?  Mine is my eyesight.  If these were ancient times, I'd be long dead by now (trampled or eaten).  

  [h2]It was my wife's vibrator that distracted me, says man accused of impaired driving[/h2] [div class="feed_details"][h4]Neal Hall,             Vancouver Sun[/h4][span]Published: Friday, March 16, 2007[/span][/div] VANCOUVER - A Langley man offered a novel defence at his impaired driving trial to explain why his car was weaving on Highway 1, causing him to be pulled over by police.[/p] Kristopher Lind said it wasn't the 10 beers and a double cocktail he had consumed. He said his attention wasn't fully on his driving because his wife was using a vibrator bought that day at a sex show in Vancouver.[/p] "Would it be fair to say that you found this distracting?" asked defence lawyer Bruce Ralston, who took on the case before he was elected MLA for Surrey-Whalley.[a class="additionals" href="jvascript:void%20window.DOH%21%28%27/components/email.aspx?id=0a669ad1-34c4-4752-879a-d8f138a4f03a&referrer=http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/westcoastnews/story.html?id=0a669ad1-34c4-4752-879a-d8f138a4f03a%27,%20%27%27,%20%27width=450,height=410,location=no,toolbar=no,menubar=no,scrollbars=yes,resizable=no%27%29"][span][/span][/a]
 [/p][a class="additionals printer" href="jvascript:void%20window.DOH%21%28%27/components/print.aspx?id=0a669ad1-34c4-4752-879a-d8f138a4f03a%27,%20%27%27,%20%27width=700,height=400,location=no,menubar=yes,scrollbars=yes,resizable=yes%27%29"][span][/span][/a][div class="fontsize_label"][a href="jvascript:setClassName%28%27article%27,%27para16%27%29;%20setClassName%28%27fontsizecontainer%27,%27size03%27%29;"][span][/span][/a]The 28-year-old car rental firm employee agreed.[/div] Crown prosecutor John Caldwell asked: "It never occurred to you at any point to stop over on the shoulder?"[/p] "No," Lind replied.[/p] Lind testified in Port Coquitlam Provincial Court he and his wife were driving in Vancouver, heading for Highway 1, when he and his wife decided to check out the vibrator.[/p] The package proved difficult for his wife to unwrap, so she handed it to him while he was driving. He said he opened the package with one hand, using his knee to help steer the car, and did the same again to insert batteries.[/p] Once the device was working, he said, his wife began using it while Lind drove east on Highway 1.[/p] "She was really enjoying it, obviously, and I was . . . driving along and I saw a car . . . on the shoulder pull out quickly . . . and the police lights came on."[/p] He was arrested after he failed a roadside breathalyser test.[/p] Lind denied he was driving while drunk.[/p] The judge will render his verdict March 28.
 [/p] Full Story: [a href="http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/westcoastnews/story.html?id=0a669ad1-34c4-4752-879a-d8f138a4f03a"]http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/westcoastnews/story.html?id=0a669ad1-34c4-4752-879a-d8f138a4f03a[/a]
 [/p]    

almost
 
 Anyone doing anything to celebrate da green?
 
 I'm going to the dentist on the 17th.