Today I was called to come in to the Doctors office. You may ask when getting a phone call to come in and see your Physician is a good thing. Well when your doctor calls you and E-mails you herself to come in. It is not for good news. Sadly, I found out that my liver has decided to pack it in. Right now my health is pretty bad and has been getting worse for the past month. Starting, today I will be doing weekly blood tests once more to monitor the situation.
Should things get worse it will be another stay in the hospital. Mind there is not much they can do except ease the pain and help me in passing from this life in to the next. Even if it is at the cost to ones own dignity. But that is one thing that wont happen again. Not if I can help it, but things are out of my hands. I wish they had a reason for the liver failure but they never did so it makes things that much harder for me.
If I am going to die, I am going to die at home! mind that's only if things get worse. I will not die in a hospital bed. I will stay at one if they can help me and possibly heal me. However they never knew what caused my liver failure the The first time in 2008 or the Second time in 2009. So I doubt they will have any answers for me this time. If it ends up being another extended hospital stay I think I would rather spend it at home in comfort instead.
Everything is now out of my Hands. I have no control over liver failure. I can only live or die taking things one day at a time. No one wants to die but I am ready if I should. It once again looks like I might find out what happens next sooner than I had planned. If I don't make it, it has been great knowing you all.
Peace be with you today. tomorrow and always. May you all always have peace in your hearts, minds and lives.
Signed
That Fat Bastard
Devan
