Thank you D, I feel a little better knowing I am not alone in this aspect of life... It can be so difficult to remain calm and collected with people at times.. I know I must try harder in life to be the better man and to turn that other cheek.
All my life I have had that shortcoming. I have often failed to walk away from an issue and stop speaking with a person until after my ire has had a chance to cool. When I manage that better (my temper) I feel more in control. I have learned to place me emotions aside but sadly it took many years of arguments and self loathing to learn the meditative techniques to put that emotional distance into practice.
I am much better at walking away from a fight and a argument now. I think allot of that had to do with the martial arts classes, the counselling training, the theological courses and the teachings and time spent reading psychology manuals & criminalogical theory (sp) (Talk about some heavy reading and I mean that in two ways the books weighed a ton & the emotional content was weighty in itself)
Some of the weirdest stuff came in studying or reading on abnormal psychology, how to books classes on profiling criminal intent...plis some other things that just grossed me out. yuck ick and vomit I dropped the classes, I did not have the heart or stomach to keep reading it. The manuals are shoved to the far back of my bookcase, I can not bring myself to throw them out they did cost a small fortune.
I must say those where some incredably heavy subjects.. I think I learned more from the theological classes and the meditation classes plus all the time I spent studying and practising basic forms in some basic martial arts. Thanks to my teachers in all of the above, I can really put my mind at rest but I am still human just like the rest of humanity i have some buttons and when pressed they will sometimes result in a reaction not planned on.
I spent significant time in meditation or if you prefer to call it something else perhaps, silent prayer this was a significant factor at learning to step outside of myself and placing the anger, aside not by burying it, but by letting it be a part of me but distant at the same time. Learning to put my trust in a higher power and in my self...
But in my youth I was not good at it at any of those things at all... I was quick to look for offence & to take offence or if those failed, to cause offence I purposely would try goad some one on into anger in to fighting or arguing...
Now I am older and perchance even a little wiser maybe even a little better at controlling my temper, quicker to forgive and to let go of those things that angered me, I learned how to release what was bothering me with out using violence, I let it go rather than to hold on to that hate...
I am not perfect thank the light, but I am also not covered in tar. most of the time I do not respond with something said in anger, i no longer say things just out of anger to make some one else angrier. There is no longer a need to hurt others or to hurt myself. I learned to not say the things, that need not have been said at all...
With that no feelings are stepped on and best of all no one is hurt emotional or physically. Words wound just as much as a knife thrust, at times the word can be sharper than a sword I forget who said that... But those sharp swords have a way of causing more damage to someones id or psyche and the emotional wounds run deep, they can fester for years before coming to the surface many years later with anger hate & a whole lot of emotional upheaval.. those haunting words can some times kill...
Here is hoping tomorrow is cooler and every ones tempers will have a chance to cool off . I witnessed 5 fights in the east side today & all of them were basically grumpy people who let their tempers fly away from them because they are just to hot from this mild heat wave we are in...
We all need to learn how to curb what we say & take control with how we shall respond to what our fellow man says... That includes woman in that, when I say man I also mean women or Man as in mankind our whole human race.... Am I boring you all yet... lol.. it's hot plus time for a frosted glass and some fresca with ice, followed up by a cold shower and bed to try to sleep.
Goodnight every one.. may peace be your, today, tomorrow and for ever more...
