Living with someone who has Dementia

Started by Sportsdude, Dec 09 08 07:50

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Sportsdude

I don't know what to do. My grandmother was diagnosed with Dementia a couple weeks ago after getting out of the hospital after a fall/stroke/battery died 'low sodium' incident. I talked to her on the phone today and she didn't know I was in Canada.

what do I do?
 
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

P.C.

Awww, that's too bad SD.  I don't think there's a lot you CAN do.  Treat her the same as you always did....that's all I can think of.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Sportsdude

Yeah well I don't know what to do there either. It's slight dementia at the moment, it goes in waves apparently. She's always gotten my name mixed up with other cousins, but the fact she didn't know I was living in Canada was a bit shocking. I'm lost.  
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

Gopher

 Soportsdude, I lived with someone with dementia for about 15 years. It's hard going and - in my experience - far worse for the people close to than it actually is for the sufferer. You'll need lots of patience, energy and most of all an ability to laugh sometimes...I can only wish you, and everyone concerned, the best of luck.  
A fool's paradise is better than none.

P.C.

Soportsdude, I lived with someone with dementia for about 145 years. It's hard going and - in my experience - far worse for the people close to than it actually is for the sufferer.

    Do you think so Gophie ?  I suppose in its advance stages, but I know of people who KNEW that they couldn't think of their loved ones names....or other such situations.  In other words, the awareness of their failing mind was still intact.   That frightens me.      
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Gopher

I found that the awreness of the failing mind didn't last very long - nor, in the case I witnessed did it seem to cause any major distress at all. Whgat used to worry me the most was whether or not she were in pain and unable to let anyone know - in the end her speech became very garbled and then more or less faded away.  
A fool's paradise is better than none.

Sportsdude

Well my concern is that while I talked to her everyday and drove her everywhere when I was living at home, now I'm not. I'm dreading the whole, welcome home from SD from everyone and she forgets who I am. Its like dealing with my cousin's kid who is going to be 3 now. Every time I see him he runs away thinking I'm a stranger and having his mother say who I am 4,000 times. I'm afraid of that happening with my grandmother. She doesn't have any major health problems, but over the past 5 years she just zones out, like someone falling asleep when you're talking to them, except she's not falling asleep.

It goes in waves though, some days are really bad like she didn't know what a microwave was 2 weeks ago. Or on the phone where she went Canada?

Then some days she remembers German phrases from her school days.

But since the mid 90s it was always mixing of names, but that was it nothing else. I only started noticing when my cousin was born in '94, and his name has the same 's' ending pronunciation. His and my name were the first ones to get confused, then slowly everybody was being called somebody else in the family. Nobody thought any of it though.

 
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

P.C.

  I'm in no way minimizing your grandmas condition, but I have to say the mixing of names ?.....I think that comes with motherhood, and knows no age or particular ailment.  

  I'm sorry about your gramdma SD....but you know....in the scheme of things....if she is otherwise healthy, I think you have to find any glimmer of positive.  And the glimmer here, would be that she is not laying in a hospital bed somewhere suffering in agony.  I don't think that is very helpful in terms of how to deal with the situation....but it's a little something anyways.[/DIV]

 
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Lil Me

I'm sorry to hear about this SD.  I went through this with one of my grandfathers and now one of my grandmothers has it (early alzheimer's).
 
 Remember that the person's long-term memory usually remains intact, so it's good to ask them questions about the past.  
 
 But yeah...I know it's kinda scary to deal with and really frustrating at times....
   
"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it."  Robert Heinlein

Sportsdude

The memory of the past stays in tack? hmm. okay thanks for the advice lil me. :)
 
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

P.C.

I always thought dementia and Alzheimers were two separate afflictions.  I had to look it up....and I'm still not sure.

  Anyways, there are some informative suggestions here [A href="vny!://www.vac-acc.gc.ca/clients/sub.cfm?source=health/dementia"]vny!://www.vac-acc.gc.ca/clients/sub.cfm?source=health/dementia[/A]  SD.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Sportsdude

Hmm. Dementia is just memory loss, Alzheimer's destroys the brain. That's what I think the difference is.  
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

P.C.

I have always wondered, because I remember a friend talking about a nephew who had dementia...and he was in his twenties.  So if I'm understanding what I'm reading, dementia can accompany alzheimer's...but they have a separate set of individual criteria (?)

  *did you find anything useful there ?
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

P.C.

ok....I think my last post is wrong.  I'm back to being confused.  I'm reading where is says that they are different, but then the article goes on and uses the terms interchangeably.

  Anyways.....none of this is helping you with your question.

  I think compassion, understanding, patience and more patience would be a good place to start.
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Sportsdude

 My mother told me the difference. But yes the link was useful.
I can put it this way. My grandmother's farm house she grew up in burned down, and the lady living in it had Alzheimer's, she didn't make it out (well her son was only gone for 15mins to get some food, he came back it was too late). She couldn't figure out where the exit was apparently. She was that disoriented. She had to be fed. Dementia you don't lose basic functions, at least that's how I always saw the difference between the two.
   
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."