The Golden Years

Started by Gopher, Apr 20 08 11:47

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Gopher

Apr 20 08 11:47
                                      SENIOR CITIZENS

           ARE THE NATIONS LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS

  Hearing aids, Band aids, Rolaids, Walking aids, Medical aids,

Government aids, and most of all Monetary aids to the children.

           THE GOLDEN YEARS HAVE COME AT LAST

  I cannot see, I cannot pee, I cannot chew, I cannot screw.

My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks, no sense of smell, I look like hell.

My body's drooping, got trouble pooping.

          SO THE GOLDEN YEARS HAVE SOME AT LAST  -

          WELL, THE GOLDEN YEARS CAN KISS MY A**!

                                                                                                                    Anon      
A fool's paradise is better than none.

Sportsdude

#1
Apr 20 08 11:57
hahahahaha
brilliant!
 
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

49er

#2
Apr 20 08 01:01
   [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT id=EC_role_document face="Comic Sans MS" color=fuchsia size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"]'Golden Years' IS WHEN...[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=navy size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"] Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,  'Pick one; I can't do both!' [/SPAN][/FONT][/DIV][/DIV]

  [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT id=EC_role_document face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]
[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=fuchsia size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"]'Golden Years' [/SPAN] IS WHEN...[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=navy size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"] Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.[/SPAN][/FONT][/DIV][/DIV]

  [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT id=EC_role_document face=Arial color=black size=2][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"]
[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=fuchsia size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"]'Golden Years' [/SPAN]IS WHEN...[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=navy size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"] A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door, [/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Arial color=blue size=2][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/DIV]

 [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT face="Times New Roman" size=3][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"][/SPAN][/FONT] [/DIV][/DIV]

  [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT id=EC_role_document face="Comic Sans MS" color=fuchsia size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"]'Golden Years' [/SPAN]IS WHEN...[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=navy size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"] Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. [/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Arial color=blue size=2][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/DIV]

 [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT face="Times New Roman" size=3][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"][/SPAN][/FONT] [/DIV][/DIV]

  [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT id=EC_role_document face="Comic Sans MS" color=fuchsia size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"]'Golden Years' [/SPAN]IS WHEN...[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=navy size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"] You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. [/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Arial color=blue size=2][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/DIV]

 [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT face="Times New Roman" size=3][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"][/SPAN][/FONT] [/DIV][/DIV]

  [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT id=EC_role_document face="Comic Sans MS" color=fuchsia size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"]'Golden Years' [/SPAN]IS WHEN...[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=navy size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"] You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. [/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Arial color=blue size=2][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/DIV]

 [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT face="Times New Roman" size=3][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"][/SPAN][/FONT] [/DIV][/DIV]

  [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT id=EC_role_document face="Comic Sans MS" color=fuchsia size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"]'Golden Years' [/SPAN]IS WHEN...[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=navy size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"] 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber today. [/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Arial color=blue size=2][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/DIV]

 [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT face="Times New Roman" size=3][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"][/SPAN][/FONT] [/DIV][/DIV]

  [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT id=EC_role_document face="Comic Sans MS" color=fuchsia size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"]'Golden Years' [/SPAN]IS WHEN...[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=navy size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"] 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot. [/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face=Arial color=blue size=2][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"] [/SPAN][/FONT][/DIV]

 [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT face="Times New Roman" size=3][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"][/SPAN][/FONT] [/DIV][/DIV]

  [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT id=EC_role_document face="Comic Sans MS" color=fuchsia size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"]'Golden Years' [/SPAN]IS WHEN...[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=navy size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"] An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.[/SPAN][/FONT][/DIV][/DIV]

  [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT id=EC_role_document face="Comic Sans MS" color=navy size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"]
AND [/SPAN][/FONT][/DIV][/DIV]

  [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT id=EC_role_document face="Comic Sans MS" color=fuchsia size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: fuchsia; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"]'Golden Years' [/SPAN]IS WHEN...[/SPAN][/FONT][FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=navy size=5][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"] You are not sure these are jokes?[/SPAN][/FONT][/DIV][/DIV]

[DIV style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt"] [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT id=EC_role_document face="Times New Roman" size=3][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"][/SPAN][/FONT] [/DIV]

 [DIV class=MsoNormal][FONT id=EC_role_document face="Times New Roman" size=3][SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"][/SPAN][/FONT] [/DIV][/DIV]

al the weird

#3
Apr 20 08 01:30
[FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#000080 size=5]'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.[/FONT]

[FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#000080 size=5][/FONT]

[FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#000080 size=5]\[/FONT]

   [FONT face="Arial Narrow" color=#000080 size=2]Love it![/FONT] [/DIV]

also, your back goes out more often than you do.

P.C.

#4
Apr 20 08 02:43
GOOD one al !  Another classic is from Betty Davis....Getting old isn't for sissies !
Sir Isaac Newton invented the swinging door....for the convenience of his cat.

Lil Me

#5
Apr 20 08 08:02
Is anyone else singing Golden years, gold whop whop whop....
 
 or is it just me?
   
"In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it."  Robert Heinlein

Van

#6
Apr 21 08 10:28
LOL at Lil Me.

I thought this was a David Bowie tribute too!! haha!
When the End comes, don't worry if your party shoes are clean or not. Just make sure you have them on!
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