Relationships - how to maintain them

[purelife]

Someone I know is going through a horrible time.  He just found out that his wife has had enough of the relationship.  She's been thinking about leaving for 5 years now but has never communicated this to him.  They have built a solid foundation together:  kids, property, businesses, homes, kids (8 and 9), friends, etc.  I don't know the entire situation but I think that she didn't feel together with him anymore.  He thought that she was happy.

  It is truly hard to maintain years and years of a relationship (that "foreverness") with someone and still have that excellent communication and togetherness.  I know this one couple where after 20 years of marriage, decided to part seperate ways.

  There seems to be no secret magic or formula to make lasting relationships.

  But, I heard this one old couple (of many years of happy marriage) say "We hold hands together before we fall asleep together everyday."  That was their secret to a lasting marriage.

[Lil Me]

yikes.  The communication part is important.  

[Lise]

Everyone has a different recipe or formula for having a long, lasting relationship so what works for one might not work for another.

  I think it's most important to find balance in any relationship. Not every relationship will be perfect so you have to compromise and work together to find the balance that will work for both of you. It isn't all peaches and cream, it's work and commitment. Blood and sweat, so to speak but if you work hard at it (and more importantly, you want it hard enough) the rewards are so much greater.

  Trust is such a big issue too. How can you be with someone if you don't trust him or her? There's got to be open communication, honest and trust for one another. If you cannot trust the one you love then it's not worth keeping the relationship.

  Well, that's my tidbit on relationship. Mine is not the perfect relationship but we understand each other. We're equals. He's my partner, my confidant and my right-hand general in whatever mess we come across. He makes me laugh through thick and thin and that, my friend is key to any relationship.

  A good laugh.  

[Lil Me]

The secret to our relationship is that Mr LM travels for work and he's never home.  LOL  

[purelife]

Trust is such a big issue too. How can you be with someone if you don't trust him or her? There's got to be open communication, honest and trust for one another. If you cannot trust the one you love then it's not worth keeping the relationship.

  I totally agree!  Our friend's g/f wouldn't even let him look at girls, not even watch movies with hot babes on.  OMG, you might as well blindfold the poor guy and hold his hand!  

  In this topic, I'm just looking for general discussion.  My relationship with my guy is perfect.  Perfect in my eyes and my definition. )))  

[Lise]

No wonder Lil Me is always and about playing with the boys. When the cat's away.... *humming* (JUST KIDDING!)

  I can't believe your GF is not letting his guy watch movies with hot babes in them. Not even looking at another girl. There must have been something in the relationship that must have shatter that trust so deeply. That's pretty extreme.

  A couple I know is in that sort of relationship. Just before the wedding, she refused to let him go to strip clubs for his stag night. I mean, c'mon. Nothing's going to happen for crying out loud. And each time we bring a new lady friend to the group, she goes green with envy. They're sorta settled now (they have a kid) so it's not daggers and knives at this point.

  Still.... if you can't trust him, who can you trust?  

[purelife]

The girl is definitely insecure, but yet, she allows other guys to chase her.  (even though she was in a relationship)  I'm glad that he left that beeyotch.  When I heard stories of what she does, I was kinda surprised of why he didn't leave her earlier.  She doesn't deserve him.  

[P.C.]

I always think it's helpful when things may seem dull or stale, to visualize what attracted you to your mate in the first place. Most often you can find it and with it comes the same feelings you had during those early times.  

[Lise]

Meh. Men are such visual creatures. They can't help it. Walk down the street with your man and a pretty girl walks by and he swings his head 180 degrees just to see her. My man swears he doesn't do that as often but c'mon. I see his eyes go wide and rotate. Hehe. I guess they can't help it.

  Now I just wish there's a big ass chocolate bar walking down the street so I can do that to my man! Revenge!!!

[purelife]

LOL Lise.  Guys flirt and look at girls. It's in their nature.  The more a girl tells him NOT to, the more they'll do it.  If the girl was secure and was ok, the less of a big deal it is to him.  Just my opinion.

  Heck, I look at girls, but it's obviously not the same as my guy.  It's not often that I see a good-looking guy, especially one that smells of D&G!!!!!!!  

[ripper]

There is no magic formula for relationships. People change. That's why it's extremely important for the guy to have a prenup. As for the guy with the insecure girlfriend, she probably has her reasons. Women know that men are visual. That said, she also knows that women have a shorter shelf life. Iknow iknow i'm a pig. Notice how she relaxed after he became trapped. Baby. If he was to leave her, he'd be paying out of his ass for years to come and she knows it.

[Gopher]

Apathy on both sides seems often to be why some folks stay together.....sad, but true -  and it evidently works!    

[Hobbit]

I think a good relationship takes lots of hard work. If a relationship is taken for granted then it's doomed to failure. For instance, it's nice to every once in a while ( if not every day ) pay your wife a compliment and tell her that you love her. Sometimes I just love to stare into my wife's eyes and remember how she captured my heart all over again.

[P.C.]

Awww Hobbit.....that's lovely.  [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="vny!://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/froehlich/c020.gif" border=0]

[Lise]

Qui. I think that deserves a bless point from me.