Life's Fortunes

trefilov · Jul 25 07 04:35

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[/td][td style="padding: 0in;"] [table class="MsoNormalTable" style="width: 100%;" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"] [tbody][tr style=""] [td style="padding: 0in; width: 22.5pt;" width="30"] [p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][!--[if gte vml 1]][v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="75" o:preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"] [v:stroke joinstyle="miter"/] [v:formulas] [v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"/] [v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"/] [v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"/] [v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"/] [v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"/] [v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"/] [v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"/] [v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"/] [v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"/] [v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"/] [v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"/] [v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"/] [/v:formulas] [v:path o:extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect"/] [o:lock v:ext="edit" aspectratio="t"/] [/v:shapetype][v:shape id="Picture_x0020_49" o:spid="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="http://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" style='width:22.5pt;height:.75pt; visibility:visible;mso-wrap-style:square'] [v:imagedata src="file:///C:\DOCUME~1\BIFF!\LOCALS~1\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.gif" o:title="spacer"/] [/v:shape][![endif]--][!--[if !vml]--][img]file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/BIFF%21/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image002.gif" alt="http://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" v:shapes="Picture_x0020_49" height="1" width="30"][!--[endif]--][/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [/td] [td style="padding: 0in;"] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]. [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]I guess it's inevetable. When you're jobless & you're sitting at home all those days, sooner-or-later you end up watching Jerry Springer. A show you would NEVER have watched when you were employed, because you didn't have time for that crap. Suddenly, here you are, watching & for the briefest of moments - forgetting that everything is staged & for one fleeting moment, you find yourself actually PULLING for that Redhead in the catfight on stage.
How did it come to this? This is the wake-up call I needed. The absolute proof, that I am in a depression. It's time to find motivation, somehow, somewhere & pick myself up & get out there again. When I see images of me, 5 - 10 years down the road, possibly on Longterm Disability, watching Springer, I cringe. My life is worth more, much more than that. Christ, I can't let that happen. I WON'T let that happen! I mean today, Springer. Tomorrow, who knows? I could sink so deep as to being a rabid fan of: Days Of Our Wives. Oh, GOD no! That's not gonna happen. I've since turned off the T.V., allowing my own thoughts to filter back in. I can see why they call it the Idiot Box, it really sucks all the life right out of you. Just like the Internet. Problem is: I have BOTH at my disposal & between these 2 distractions, it's so EASY to burn off a day. Before you know it, a week's past, a month, a YEAR. I mean, it's already been 20 days, since I lost my job. Nearly a whole month! & it just flew by like a day. f*ck, I've got to put the brakes to this cycle & start a new cycle - FAST! 'cause I don't like where I'm headed.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [/td] [/tr] [/tbody][/table] [/td][/tr] [/tbody][/table]

trefilov · Jul 26 07 09:43

[p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"] [/p][p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]02/20/2007 [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] I've always known that I was a morning person & I've never questioned it. It's just the way I am. What I DO question however, is why I seem to just close down after noon. [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] Witness today. I was able to get up at a reasonable hour & get to Blenz just after 8:10 A.M. It's just so damn HARD to motivate yourself, when you have no deadline. Oh, & here's the kicker – I have plenty of cash in my pocket from my severance pay, but I'm SO afraid of blowing it before my E.I. kicks in, that I have been extremely Miserly. I know this is wise, but I'm SO thrifty, I'm lucky if I'm spending like $20.00 a week on everything. So the irony, of course is; YES, I have plenty of money in my pocket, with all kinds of time & opportunity to spend it, but – as I said I'm so afraid of blowing it all before E.I. kicks in, that I can't enjoy any of it. I know I'll be thankful I DID hold on to it, in the long term, but you'd think I'd cut myself a LITTLE slack at least! Maybe, order a Pizza – or – have a nice dinner out. You see, with me I'm an all-or-nothing person & I can very easily see myself saying f*ck it, & ordering a pizza one night, promising myself this will be a one time only thing, but then I'll start making more & more allowances, then the dam will burst & before I know it, I'll be broke. [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] No, this is the correct course. I may be depressed & sitting at home all day, but I'm saving money that way. I just have to practice self control. So far, I'm doing it & the reward will be when I make it to my 1^st E.I. payout. Who knows? Maybe even have a little extra to spend by then. If it's a trade-off, I'd much rather walk around the streets knowing I HAVE money, as opposed to all those times I've wondered around broke, WISHING I had money.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] Two things a man's ego seem to be attached to, are his hair – inapplicable in my case & his wallet & having as little ego as I do, I sure depend on the money.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] As I said, I did make something of the morning & after my morning Blenz coffee, I went down to Sinclair Center & got the extra forms for my CPP Longterm. In light of the Province opening up the purse strings yesterday, now seems a good time to try to reap some of those benefits.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p]

trefilov · Jul 26 07 02:25

[p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 10pt;"]Not mine (I WISH!) – But I had to share with everyone. It's brilliant.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [h3][a href="http://www.4guysfromviewpoint.com/?p=76" title="Permanent Link to If WWII was an MMORPG"]If WWII was an MMORPG[/a][/h3] [p class="MsoNormal"]by [span class="storyauthor"]Rick [/span]@ 10:52 am. Filed under [a href="http://www.4guysfromviewpoint.com/index.php?cat=1" title="View all posts in General"]General[/a], [a href="http://www.4guysfromviewpoint.com/index.php?cat=5" title="View all posts in Funny"]Funny[/a], [a href="http://www.4guysfromviewpoint.com/index.php?cat=8" title="View all posts in Gaming"]Gaming[/a] [o:p][/o:p][/p] [!-- meta --] [span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has joined the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: blue;"]Eisenhower[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has joined the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has joined the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has joined the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has joined the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has joined the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: brown;"]Roosevelt[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has joined the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has joined the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: darkblue;"]deGaulle[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has joined the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: brown;"]Roosevelt[/span]: hey sup
[span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span]: y0
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: hi
[span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span]: hi
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
[span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span]: lol more like panzy tanks
[span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span]: lol
[span style="color: brown;"]Roosevelt[/span]: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
[span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span]: haha america sux
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: sure whatever
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: cool
[span style="color: darkblue;"]deGaulle[/span]: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: lol byebye frenchy
[span style="color: brown;"]Roosevelt[/span]: i dont got crap to help, sry
[span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span]: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
[span style="color: brown;"]Roosevelt[/span]: get antiair guns
[span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span]: i cant afford them
[span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span]: u n00bs know what team talk is?
[span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span]: stfu
[span style="color: brown;"]Roosevelt[/span]: o yah hit the navajo button guys
[span style="color: darkblue;"]deGaulle[/span]: Eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
[span style="color: blue;"]Eisenhower[/span]: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
[span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span]: yah hurry the fock up
[span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span]: d00d im gettin pounded
[span style="color: darkblue;"]deGaulle[/span]: this is fockin weak u guys suck
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: darkblue;"]deGaulle[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has left the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: brown;"]Roosevelt[/span]: im gonna attack the axis k?
[span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span]: with what? ur wheelchair?
[span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span]: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: ROFLMAO
[span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span]: lol o no america im comin 4 u
[span style="color: brown;"]Roosevelt[/span]: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
[span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span]: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
[span style="color: brown;"]Roosevelt[/span]: u little biotch ill get u
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: wtf
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
[span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span]: lol no more france for u hitler
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: tojo help me!
[span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span]: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: fine ill clear you a path
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: i changed my mind lol
[span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span]: haha
[span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span]: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
[span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span]: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: im 2 busy 2 help
[span style="color: brown;"]Roosevelt[/span]: yah thats right biznitch im comin for ya
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: church help me
[span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span]: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: dont be an arss
[span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span]: dont be a commie. oops too late
[span style="color: blue;"]Eisenhower[/span]: LOL
[span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span]: hahahh oh sh1t help
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: o man ur focked
[span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span]: oh what now biotch
[span style="color: brown;"]Roosevelt[/span]: whos the cripple now lol
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has been eliminated.*[/span]
[span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span]: lame
[span style="color: brown;"]Roosevelt[/span]: gj paTTon
[span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span]: thnx
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: WTF Eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
[span style="color: blue;"]Eisenhower[/span]: Nuts!
[span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span]: wtf that mean?
[span style="color: blue;"]Eisenhower[/span]: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
[span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span]: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: rofl
[span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span]: HAHAHHAA
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: u guys are fockin gay
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: ur never getting in my city
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has been eliminated.*[/span]
[span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span]: OMG u noob you killed yourself
[span style="color: blue;"]Eisenhower[/span]: ROFLOLOLOL
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: OMG LMAO!
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has left the game*
[span style="color: green;"][/span]paTTon[/span]: hahahhah
[span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span]: WTF my teammates are n00bs
[span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span]: shut up noob
[span style="color: brown;"]Roosevelt[/span]: haha wut a moron
[span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span]: wtf am i gunna do now?
[span style="color: blue;"]Eisenhower[/span]: yah me too
[span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span]: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
[span style="color: blue;"]Eisenhower[/span]: fock u
[span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span]: lemme go thru ur base commie
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: go to hell lol
[span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span]: fock this sh1t im goin afk
[span style="color: blue;"]Eisenhower[/span]: yah this is gay
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: brown;"]Roosevelt[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has left the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: red;"]Hitler[AoE][/span]: wtf?
[span style="color: blue;"]Eisenhower[/span]: sh1t now we need some1 to join
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: pink;"]tru_m4n[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has joined the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: pink;"]tru_m4n[/span]: hi all
[span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span]: hey
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: sup
[span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span]: hi
[span style="color: pink;"]tru_m4n[/span]: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
[span style="color: pink;"]tru_m4n[/span]: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: d00d gimmie some plz
[span style="color: pink;"]tru_m4n[/span]: no way i only got like a couple
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
[span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span]: wtf is nukes?
[span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span]: holy sh*tholysh*thoylshti!!!111
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has been eliminated.*[/span]
*The Allied team has won the game!*
[span style="color: blue;"]Eisenhower[/span]: awesome!
[span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span]: gg noobs no re
[span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span]: thats bullsh*t u fockin suck
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: fuchsia;"]T0J0[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has left the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: blue;"]Eisenhower[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has left the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
[span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span]: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
[span style="color: pink;"]tru_m4n[/span]: l8r all
[span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span]: bye
[span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span]: l8r
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: fock u all
[span style="color: pink;"]tru_m4n[/span]: shut up commie lol
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: pink;"]tru_m4n[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has left the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span]: lololol u commie
[span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span]: ROFL
[span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span]: bye commie
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: orange;"]Churchill[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has left the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: lightgreen;"]benny-tow[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has left the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span]: i hate u all fags
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: aqua;"]Stalin[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has left the game.*[/span]
[span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span]: lol no1 is left
[span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span]: weeeee i got a jeep
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has been eliminated.*[/span]
[span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span]: o sh1t!
[span style="color: darkgrey;"]*[/span][span style="color: green;"]paTTon[/span][span style="color: darkgrey;"] has left the game.*[/span] [/p]

trefilov · Jul 28 07 08:21

[p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]02/21/2007 [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [table class="MsoNormalTable" style="width: 100%;" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"] [tbody][tr style=""] [td style="padding: 0in; width: 22.5pt;" width="30"] [p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="75" o:preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"] [v:stroke joinstyle="miter"] [v:formulas] [v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"] [v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"] [v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"] [v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"] [v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"] [v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"] [v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"] [v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"] [v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"] [v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"] [v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"] [v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"] [/v:f] [v:path o:extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect"] [o:lock v:ext="edit" aspectratio="t"] [/o:lock][v:shape id="Picture_x0020_51" o:spid="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="http://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" style="width: 22.5pt; height: 0.75pt; visibility: visible;"] [v:imagedata src="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CBIFF%21%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_image001.gif" o:title="spacer"] [/v:imagedata][/v:shape][/v:path][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:formulas][/v:stroke][/v:shapetype][/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p]
[/td] [td style="padding: 0in;"] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]Captain's log: Supplemental. I have just finished watching the movie Castaway for the 2^nd time. The 1^st time I saw it, was around 2000 & I don't remember being as moved back then & inspired as I am now. The only thing stopping my from crying is the dope. [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] It truly is a beautifully written movie & it's got me thinking a lot about my own life & where I am right now. Here's a movie, a message I take it as – about a guy, whom loses everything & finds his own source of inspiration to carry on & survive. I know it's only a movie, but to me, THAT'S what MOVIE means. A show that MOVES you & I was moved.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] It really helps put in perspective my current situation. I spend so much time feeling sorry for myself & wishing I had things & lamenting that, which I have lost, but here is a story about a guy who loses MORE, including his wife – whom not only has the strength & the courage to come back – not only that, but is strong enough to let his wife go, because he HAD to, the way she had to when she thought he was dead. Here is a true message of triumph of spirit! How DO you let someone go, who was your whole life. I think that may be part of the reason I never got into a serious relationship, because I don't know if I am that strong. [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] Again, acknowledging that it was only a movie, if it's enough to at least get you thinking, let alone re-evaluating your whole life, then it must count for something, right?[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] I draw the greatest inspiration from the blatantly symbolic last scene, where he literally is standing at the crossroads & you are given the impression that the options are HIS & that HE is in control of his own destiny & the sense of optimism in that knowledge. That he has a brand new life path before him & because of what he's come through, he's not afraid of what lies before him.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]Sound familiar Alec? (Looks in mirror)[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][a href="http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=157088588&blogID=233197827&Mytoken=9CB4EC37-D0F0-4663-B36E2CF4DFE065AA77462289"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; color: blue;"]
[/span][/a][a href="http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.confirmRemove&blogID=233197827&Mytoken=9CB4EC37-D0F0-4663-B36E2CF4DFE065AA77462289"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; color: blue;"][/span][/a][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [/td] [/tr] [/tbody][/table]

trefilov · Jul 29 07 12:23

[p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]02/22/2007 [/span][/p] [table class="MsoNormalTable" style="width: 100%;" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"] [tbody][tr style=""] [td style="padding: 0in; width: 22.5pt;" width="30"] [p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="75" o:preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"] [v:stroke joinstyle="miter"] [v:formulas] [v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"] [v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"] [v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"] [v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"] [v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"] [v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"] [v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"] [v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"] [v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"] [v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"] [v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"] [v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"] [/v:f] [v:path o:extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect"] [o:lock v:ext="edit" aspectratio="t"] [/o:lock][v:shape id="Picture_x0020_53" o:spid="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="http://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" style="width: 22.5pt; height: 0.75pt; visibility: visible;"] [v:imagedata src="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CBIFF%21%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_image001.gif" o:title="spacer"] [/v:imagedata][/v:shape][/v:path][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:formulas][/v:stroke][/v:shapetype][/span][/p] [/td] [td style="padding: 0in;"] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]Ugh! I've done so much writing these last few days, that it's actually becoming a chore.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] Ok, lessee...where to start...Well, of course I worked some more on my Autobiography this morning at Blenz. f*ck, this is hard! I'm actually disappointed with this entry already.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]Talk about writers block![o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]Ok, I'm just gonna have to sum up the day's events then – sans my witty insights, cause frankly, I just don't feel up to it right now. [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] Ok, I went to visit Mother at Evergreen & shared what I had written so far & she seemed to like it. This is encouraging.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] I also met a couple of 50 yr old women, one of which, I flirted a bit with & I wouldn't mind banging, if just for the experience. I bet she'd appreciate a younger guy.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] Went to the doc & was disappointed when he wouldn't sign my Longterm Disability form. I'm a f*cking Retard Doc! How the HELL do you think I'm employable? He DID sign the Shortterm, which at least buys me a little time. [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] So, maybe that's why I'm so tired tonight. I actually got off my ever expanding ass & did something today.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [/td] [/tr] [/tbody][/table]

GORDY GAMBINO · Jul 29 07 12:51

Ever thought of being a counter weight on an excavator?

trefilov · Jul 30 07 12:23

[table class="MsoNormalTable" style="width: 100%;" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"] [tbody][tr style="height: 369pt;"] [td style="padding: 0in; width: 22.5pt; height: 369pt;" width="30"] [p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][img]file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/BIFF%21/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image002.gif" alt="http://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" v:shapes="Picture_x0020_55" height="1" width="30"][!--[endif]--][/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [/td] [td style="padding: 0in; height: 369pt;"] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]02/23/2007 [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]
[/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] Gonna take a different tack here. Gonna try making my entries at the beginning of the day, when I seem to be at my most insightful. [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] As I was walking to Blenz, in my usual half awake state, I heard a girl from behind me say: "Sup?" Recognizing the youthspeak & quickly translating it in my head as: "What's up?" I quickly looked behind me to see whom she was talking to. I couldn't see anybody else in the immediate vicinity, but my damaged ego, as always prevented me from believing it was directed toward me. I quickly darted into Blenz, & she walked on by, where I could get a good look at her. She looked to be anywhere from about 18 – to maybe 20. I also noticed she was carrying a purse. CONCLUSION: she was either a Crackhead, or Ho. When did the stigma of a middle class girl carrying a purse turn into them being Ho's? Am I that far out of the loop, or is it more-or-less accurate today?[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] Anyway, as I pondered the awkward interaction, I never answered her address. Speaking of which, I have noticed a gradual degeneration of the English language amongst the youth of today. In more enlightened times, when one wished to address a stranger, they would say such things like: "Pardon me sir..." –or- "Excuse me but..."[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] But these kids seem to be gradually regressing to the Paleozoic era, where the Cavemen communicated by grunts.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] Think about for a moment. How far is: "Sup?" from: "Ugh." See what I mean?[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]It's signs like these that discourage my confidence in the evolution of man.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] Although I desperately wished she was hitting on me, my logic quickly substitutes alternate scenarios like: She was talking to someone else, you just couldn't see them. / She WAS talking to you, but she was only interested in bumming a smoke, or money. / She was a Ho & you can't afford it. You see? Anything to protect my ego.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] Geez, that's a lot of thinking for 10:00 A,M, I think this MIGHT be the best time to do these, as I seem to be on a bit of a roll here.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] Is it me, or are there absolute BABES in the Davie district? I mean, I found it hard concentrating on my book, as I found myself constantly looking out the window & evaluating the various women I'd love to bang. I mean, if any percentage of the girls I see are single, but I wasn't so dam f*cked up, I would be having a field day. Oh, how I would love to be a player & have a different girl for every day of the week! And the real tragedy too, is now that I've cut back on the dope, I could keep up with them all too! Seriously. I seem to be up to 3 beat-offs a day, Christ, imagine if I was in the game! Ok, I'm getting frustrated just thinking about this self-imposed barrier, so time to change the subject[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] So, no doubt, I do feel my sharpest in the morning, so I think from now on, I'll make these entries then.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [/td] [/tr] [/tbody][/table]

trefilov · Jul 31 07 07:15

[p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]02/24/2007[/span][/p] [table class="MsoNormalTable" style="width: 100%;" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"] [tbody][tr style=""] [td style="padding: 0in; width: 22.5pt;" width="30"] [p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="75" o:preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"] [v:stroke joinstyle="miter"] [v:formulas] [v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"] [v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"] [v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"] [v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"] [v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"] [v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"] [v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"] [v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"] [v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"] [v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"] [v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"] [v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"] [/v:f] [v:path o:extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect"] [o:lock v:ext="edit" aspectratio="t"] [/o:lock][v:shape id="Picture_x0020_57" o:spid="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="http://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" style="width: 22.5pt; height: 0.75pt; visibility: visible;"] [v:imagedata src="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CBIFF%21%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_image001.gif" o:title="spacer"] [/v:imagedata][/v:shape][/v:path][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:formulas][/v:stroke][/v:shapetype][/span][/p] [/td] [td style="padding: 0in;"] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]CHRIST I'm horny lately! I must have gotten off about 5 beat-offs at LEAST, yesterday. And of course, no Cum-Catcher to reap the benefits. Uh-oh, here comes the Misogyny again. Let's leave that alone. Although, I do seem to be in a negative mind frame today. [o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]Witness what I was writing to myself as I was eating breakfast at Denny's this morning:[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] [span style="color: red;"]Thank god i have this phone to distract me by jotting down my feelings when I'm anxious. Why do I HATE bitches, & youth culture SO much? I have an idea whyI Hate the twenty something's & that of course being that I'm jealous & envious that they're so young, with bright futures ahead, while me, i lost virtually my entire 20's to first, Hair Loss & then Social Anxiety. I resent them for daring to be so young in my presence. (You see now just how f*cked up I truly am?) I have SO MUCH anger inside me, I can't believe it hasn't manifested itself in the form of Cancer. After all, they DO say anger eats you up. As does Cancer.
Look at those 2 Chugs over there. Sitting at the window I had been gazing out. How DARE they take a seat there & obstruct my view! God, LISTEN to me, will you? Where is all this venom coming from? I'm feeling more anxious now, as more people enter Denny's & are seated around me. f*ck! Why couldn't you all have stayed home this morning? It's a rainy, grey Saturday morning for Chrissake! What POSSIBLE motivation could you have for going out at ALL today?[/span][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; color: red;"] [/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]Yes. Those thoughts are what I was actually thinking to myself as I sat down to breakfast this morning. Proof that not ALL Mentally Ill people live on the street, although if my former Employer doesn't get their shit together quick, I just MAY end up on the street.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]See my latest pleading email to them:[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] [span style="color: blue;"]Hi Debbie.[/span][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; color: blue;"] I'm sorry to keep pestering you, but I thought I should
let you know, it is now Friday, Feb. 23 & I still have not received my R.O.E. I have researched & found that under Canadian Law,it is not unreasonable to expect this document within (5) calendar days of a persons cessation of employment. [/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; color: blue;"] SEE BELOW:[/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; color: purple;"] [/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]
Canadian jurisdiction.[/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]Eligible Activities[/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]All employment under Canadian jurisdiction.[/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] [/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]Summary:[/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] The Employment Insurance Act and its Regulations require every employer to complete a Record of Employment (ROE) when an employee stops working and when an interruption of earnings occurs. This happens when an employee is laid off, quits, leaves without pay or is dismissed, or when an employee is temporarily away from work due to pregnancy, injury, illness, adoption leave or provides care and support to a gravely ill family member. A penalty under the Employment Insurance Act for non-compliance may apply to employers who fail to issue a ROE as required. [/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]The information on the ROE determines if a person qualifies for Employment Insurance (EI) benefits, the benefit rate and the duration of his/her claim. The ROE also plays an important role in controlling the misuse of EI funds and it must be issued even if the employee has not intention of filing a claim for EI benefits.[/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] [/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]When to issue a Record of Employment?[/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"] [/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]Generally, a ROE must be issued within five calendar days or the interruption of earnings or the date the employer becomes aware of the interruption.[/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]
[span style="color: blue;"]As I write this, it has now been (22) days since my departure from the company Again, I am sorry to be persistent in this matter, but please understand I have bills & rent to pay & no way to pay these without my E.I. coverage. I have pleaded with them & they maintain that they cannot & will not even come to
a decision re: my claim, without my R.O.E.If there's any thing I can do on my end to expedite this process, then please let me know.[/span][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; color: blue;"] Regards.[/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; color: blue;"] Alec.[/span][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]
Obviously, I'm in Ass-Kicking mode, but when your very livelihood hangs in the balance & you're at the mercy of whether-or-not somebody you've never even met has remembered to send a simple letter, you HAVE to be. I've never liked a**holes & I never thought I'd have to be one myself, but among the many lessons I've learned in this life, is that – sadly, just to simply SURVIVE sometimes you have to be one.[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [/td] [/tr] [/tbody][/table]

trefilov · Aug 01 07 04:32

[p class="blogcontent"]Captain Janeway in this case. My obsession with women shitting, & mysnginy in general isn't helped much when I sit right outside the Ladies room at the Coffee shop. But when there's simply just no other seats available because everyone & their dog (You can take that litterally in Vancouver) wants to duck-in, out of the cold rain - well, what are you going to do? I can see, or rather SMELL why you women try to be so discreet about shitting, because I gotta tell ya. You REEK! I know, I Know, I can already hear you challenging me to find a person who's shit DOESN'T smell, but seriously, I've never smelled anything so FOUL. I'm so glad I'm not a woman. My shit stinks bad enough. GOD, it's like a WAVE of STINK everytime that door opens. I've always wondered why some women absolutely BATHE themselves in perfume. You know the type. Just catching a whiff of them as they pass on the street, & your eyes water. My guess is they've just taken a huge dump, & are trying to cover the smell.
Man, I'm really ripping on bitches today. Marc Lepine would be proud. Ugh! I gotta bolt. The smell that keeps coming outta there is making me sick.[/p]

trefilov · Aug 02 07 12:54

[p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]02/24/2007[/span][/p] [table class="MsoNormalTable" style="width: 100%;" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"] [tbody][tr style=""] [td style="padding: 0in; width: 22.5pt;" width="30"] [p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"][v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="75" o:preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"] [v:stroke joinstyle="miter"] [v:formulas] [v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"] [v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"] [v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"] [v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"] [v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"] [v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"] [v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"] [v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"] [v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"] [v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"] [v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"] [v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"] [/v:f] [v:path o:extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect"] [o:lock v:ext="edit" aspectratio="t"] [/o:lock][v:shape id="Picture_x0020_265" o:spid="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="http://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif" style="width: 22.5pt; height: 0.75pt; visibility: visible;"] [v:imagedata src="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CBIFF%21%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_image001.gif" o:title="spacer"] [/v:imagedata][/v:shape][/v:path][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:f][/v:formulas][/v:stroke][/v:shapetype][/span][/p] [/td] [td style="padding: 0in;"] [p class="MsoNormal" style="lineh-eight: normal;"][span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"]So I'm in a philosophical frame of mind this morning, as I drink mein coffee, & I was thinking; since DEATH is the ultimate unknown, & since FEAR is the default emotional response we have of the unknown, I was thinking would it be a good thing, or a bad thing if the fear of death was eliminated? In other words, would mankind thrive & better himself & ultimately evolve into a higher form of being, or would his demons overcome him & cause him to spiral down into a vicious cycle of debautchery & self-serving?
It really IS almost a Zen-type of question, & perhaps that's why man was made to be mortal, with only an alotted time frame in which to exist, for that question may be so great, that Mankind is simply not ready to contemplate it.
What-on-earth, then am I doing - comming up with such a question? Suddenly, I feel VERY small & insignifigant in the Universe.
You see what Coffee does to a person?[o:p][/o:p][/span][/p] [/td] [/tr] [/tbody][/table]

trefilov · Aug 03 07 09:25

[p class="blogTimeStamp"] 02/24/2007 [/p] [table class="blog" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"][tbody][tr] [td] [p class="blogContent"]
I'm watching Forest Gump & seeing as how today is Mysoginy day for me, I may as well offer my views on one aspect of the movie.
Amidst all kinds of symbolism in the movie, there's one that stands out for me & that being how the nice guys always finish last, when it comes to women. I'm talking of course, about how the Charachter "Jenny" always manages to get herself into all kinds of trouble, always hooks up with guys that treat her like shit & yet, always manages to not only be rescued by a man who truly loves her, but she won't love him back. Again, acknowledging this is only a movie, but I know for a FACT, that this particular phenomenon is taken from real life. I've seen it, I've experienced it myself. I've seen women who know that someone's in love with them & they exploit that weakness in him & use their evil feminine wiles to manipulate the guy to achieve their selfish goals. You see it. Time & time again, play out through history. Women using men, GOOD men, who worship the ground they walk on, & in some cases - would give their very lives. Of course not every woman is like this, I admit that. Hell, I even acknowledge that there are some good ones out there, though rare as they may be. And, to give the ladies equal time, I also admit there are men who do the same thing.
I guess what it boils down to is risk. KNOWING that if you open yourself up to a relationship you RISK getting hurt. But you also risk finding love & happiness.[/p][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table]

ripper · Aug 03 07 11:19

What are you talking about' I watched that movie too and he was scoring with some super hot chicks. Oh sorry wrong movie. Forest Hump.

P.C. · Aug 03 07 11:27

Hate to burst your bubble tref.....but I've seen it both ways. Time and time again.

The story is identical for both sexes....depending only on who is telling it.

trefilov · Aug 04 07 08:24

[p class="blogTimeStamp"] 02/25/2007 [/p] [table class="blog" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"][tbody][tr] [td] [p class="blogContent"] Ok. I've just downed my first coffee & I can feel the ol' synapses kicking in, so time to make today's entry.
As yesterday was a typical rainy, grey Vancouver Saturday & it was customary for me to visit D on Saturdays, I just wasn't up for it. And knowing, that if I was to call him & cancel, I'd get the standard guilt trip, in his classic Child-like response, so I figured, knowing that's what I would get if I called him to cancel, I'd just let him figure it out. I've done it before & you think he'd get the message, but he sticks to his old ways. I guess when you're 83 years old, depressed & blind, it can be hard finding motivation to change.
But, I called him early this morning, with my fake story about how I completely lost track of the days & didn't realize that yesterday was Saturday. You see, I've heard him tell me himself, how he loses track of the days, being retired, so being out of work myself, I figured he could relate. And of course, he bought it. After I had to endure a cold greeting of: "Helo Alec" when he first picked up the phone, but once I launched into my bullshit story, he came around. Man, I am such a manipulator! It's a shame I couldn't profit from such talents, but the MAN says you need to go to all kinds of schools & courses to get your Psychology certificate, just so you can f*ck with people's minds on a legitimate basis.
Oh well, I'll just continue using my tools to my own ends then. As I write, it is yet, another grey day, here in Raincouver, although the sun does seem to be making a heroic effort to break through. They should sell tickets. It might turn out to be an epic battle. I can hear the play-by-play call:
[span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"]"Clouds are doing a very good job of covering the zone, as they set up in a Cumulo Nimbus formation. Very little movemen...WAIT...just above St. Paul's Hospital, there's a hole, the Sun's working on it...The clouds double back - it's gonna be close...is it....is it...NO! a FANTASTIC save by the clouds, shutting the door at the last second!"[/span]
[span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"]COLOR COMMENTATOR: "You could see Jim, the Sun saw through the clouds Trap & they weren't gonna hold back & they went for it, but were robbed by a very good Clouds defence."[/span]
Oh crap. Did I just write that? I really need help. I know they say a mind is a terrible thing to waste, but sometimes, with some of the stuff that comes outta MY head, I tend to think the world might be better off withOUT mine.[/p][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table]

trefilov · Aug 05 07 09:54

[p class="blogTimeStamp"] 02/26/2007 [/p] [table class="blog" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"][tbody][tr] [td] [p class="blogContent"] Ok.
Gonna take a chance here & start writing before I've ven finished my coffee & hope something comes out.
So here it is, Monday Feb. 26 already & I just happen to glance at my Daytimer & I see I've got my next appointment with my Shrink already. I remember leaving his office last time, which I SWEAR was only yesterday & not over a week ago, being armed with all kinds of Back-to-Work resources & I was to report back to him next time (Today, as it turns out) & tell him how it went. My question simply is this:
How the HELL did 7 days get by me so quickly??? I'm serious. I really feel like I only saw him like a couple of days ago & I had all kinds of time, but it's been a WEEK already? Now I remember. When I was in this position a couple of years ago (Just having been fired & waiting around for my R.O.E.) I remember time just flying by then & it's gotten me thinking. One of the worst things Depression takes from you is time. As time is linear, every second we lose is gone forever & can never be replaced. Here, not only am I battling Depression, but S.A.D. as well. And when you are trying to save every penny you have, your motivation to go out is further reduced, for fear you might spend money.
All these elements combined with the constantly crappy weather, create this vortex, who's only function is to suck time into it's void. The way a Black Hole sucks all matter, including light itself right out of existence (Billions & billions of stars...he says in his best Carl Sagan voice)
So then, here I am. in a scarce few hours, I have to report back to my Shrink that I haven't followed up on all those Employment resources he researched for me. "Why not?" I can hear him query. "You had all kinds of time. I don't understand..." & I'll look him squarely in the eye & say: "That's exactly the reason Doc. Because I had all kinds if time."[/p][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table]

Life's Fortunes

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GORDY GAMBINO

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ripper

P.C.

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