[table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"][tbody][tr][td class="bg"][table cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" width="100%"][tbody][tr][td class="lightbg"] So I get home from Church group this evening, after a very rewarding session, which I even received a free bible, ready to cap off what - up to then had been a very successful day, when I check my messages & find I have (3). When I have that many messages, & it's undoubtedly from only 1 person (My mother in this case) - it's never a good thing. Instantly I feel my tension rise in anticipation of the bad news, expecting to hear my father had died of a heart attack. Not quite. In his continuing defiance of his body's physical deterrioration, Dee continues to push himself well past his limits, I heard he took the bus, by himself all the way out to Horshoebay the other day, but that when he got back home, he was exhausted. Well, I get a message on my phone now from my Mother saying that he has apparently fallen out of bed now & broken his hip.
Well, what the f*ck can I do about it? Seriously. I am so sorry, but I just simply can't afford to invest any further emotion into my stubborn father, who is just such a f*cking LIFE-HOG, who just doesn't get it, that he should pack it in. I know full well I'll live to regret just saying that, especially if he dies overnight, but I seriously & genuinely have cut him out of my life. Yes, I'm a shallow, cold - unfeeling Bastard of a son monster for abandoning my own father like this, but as I've said many times before. It's HIS life or MINE. I either continue to let him drag me down & get NOWHERE in my OWN life, while he sucks the very life & energy out of me, in order to prolong his life by maybe a week - OR - I make a stand, like I'm doing & say: enough is ENOUGH! I won't let you do this to me anymore dad. I am truly, truly deeply sorry that you suffer from all these ailments & setbacks & I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but your situation is so damn HOPELESS, that it is utter insanity for me to invest any time, or feeling into it. Truly. I know I'll burn in Hell for this & deservedly so, but I'm taking the only course of action I can take in order to survive. I'm sorry, but I'm NOT a big enough man to make the supreme sacrifice of my life for yours. From what I just heard in my Church gruop tonight, there was only ONE being on earth, who was up to that task.[/td][/tr][/tbody][/table][/td][/tr][tr][td class="lightbg"]
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