Cooking Disaster Stories

[Lise]

And by Jove do I have many.... some of which you guys have probably heard already. So let's share. What are some of your cooking disaster episodes?

  Mine:

  a) explode egg (not one, not twice but lost count) in the microwave

  b) forgot to add flour to cake and wondered why it takes over 3 hours for cake to rise

  c) about to serve rice to company of guests when realized the rice cooker wasn't turned on

  d) and yesterday's episode: you can actually screw up mixing a brownie cake mix. Who woulda thought so?  

[purelife]

Oh wow Lise.  Those are some good disaster stories.

  I've set off the house alarm a couple of times with accidently burning the oil because I fail to remember that I had the stove on.

  I've microwaved popcorn at work once and it burnt the popcorn and reeked the entire office of burnt popcorn.  Uhm, that was embarrassing.    

[Lil Me]

I screw up any kind of baking that requires precision and/or artistic talent (shape cookies, pastry, cake decorating).
 
 At the behest of my wise roommate, I once threw my failed gingerbread cookie dough on the road and watched trucks drive over it.  It was a cathartic moment.
 
 I also cannot stir-fry thick rice noodles, tofu, or fish.  It falls apart and turns to mush.
   

[P.C.]

I haven't admitted this one out  loud too often.....but...here goes.

  I was making sweet and sour sauce....which I make regularly.....and it wasn't thickening properly.  It was very bubbley while cooking....almost foamy.  I kept tasting it and wondering what the heck was wrong with it.  I kept adding a dash of this and a dash of that, and it was still gross.

  I was baffled how I could screw up something so simple.

  As it turns out (and I learned my lesson well) ...I had mixed up some Safers Insecticidal Soap in a vinegar bottle and didn't mark it.  

Now...in my defense, it WAS under the sink with the cleaners and stuff....and SOMEBODY 'put it away' for me.

[Lil Me]

*bless* for your honesty.  That's a great story, P.C.  

[P.C.]

I forgot to add that it was a dinner for company.  Oy. [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/froehlich/c030.gif" border=0]

[Lise]

That's some really funny ones, gals. Hmm.... I don't see any of the guys contributing. They must either be terrific chefs or they're not telling.

  Not me but my dad.... he found this root lying outside and decided to chop it up and add it to his soup. Problem was, my mother had wanted to plant the thing and he thought it was ginger. He kept wondering why his soup tasted funny.

[Lil Me]

Funny stuff.
 
 Before we met, Mr LM made "toaster dogs" all the time- where you put the buns and the dogs in a conventional toaster at the same time, so there's no washing pots.  Gross.
 
 I once drove a roommate to the hospital in the middle of the night when she gashed her FOOT open making a grilled cheese sandwich.  Blood everywhere.  It wasn't pretty.
 
 My dad once baked a frozen pizza with the cardboard on the bottom and plastic wrap on top.  It's a family legend.
 
 My in-laws are classic.  Besides cutting meat on the table saw, they use the same utensils for raw food , cooked food, jars of mayo, jars of PB&J...it's a freaking nightmare.  Everything in their fridge is contaminated, improperly wrapped and handled.  And they wonder why I never want to visit...
   

[Lise]

ROTFL. I like that pizza story. Hehe. *bless*

[Sportsdude]

I've done the carboard pizza thing, forgot to remove the carboard.
I've started a fire works display in my micro wave once. Wanted to 'heat up' taco bell hot sauce. oops.

Saved a building from burning down. I was at camp for the disabled. But during the nights it was just kids my age. Some girl who kept saying she was a genious put popcorn in the microwave for 30 minutes.
This was during the summer at night, so everyone was outside.  I happen to wander over to the girls cabin to talk to somebody. Nobody was watching the popcorn. I see smoke and fire coming out of the micro wave and tell the girl "micro waves aren't suppose to do that."  She was puzzled that I would say such a bizzare statement apparently, turned around at the microwave and shrieked.

They had to call the fire department. lol. The guys in my cabin were angry that I noticed the fire because they were playing spin the bottle from a coke can they found with a couple girls. lol

I've left the stove on before, burned a few pots.  Happened last year when we just moved into the new house. I thought I turned off the stove but it didn't 'click' to off when I turned it.  It was on high.  8 minutes later I smell smoke coming from the kitchen. Brand new skillet pan, ruined.
 

[RejdzegejnstdwashM]

I remember one party when we wanted to fry eggs in a steel plate in the kitchen stove oven!!!! ....hahahaha.....of course, that was just the unsuccessful try of making the scrambled eggs....

[Lil Me]

Mr LM reports that many years ago, he and his buddies cooked a dinner to "impress" some ladies they had invited over.  Unfortunately, they forgot about the plastic absorbent pad lining the bottom of the styrofoam meat tray, and they cooked a roast with the absorbent pad underneath....melted and stuck to the meat.  Ah well.
 

[Russ]

I will not admit to anything, as I have told the Starfish (as she was laughing at me) that Im perfect.

  She hasnt stopped laughing yet.

  But cooking stuff with the plasticy thingy doohickey on the bottom is a common thing.. Trust me on this, lol. It sucks even worse when you do a garbage can turkey.. and the stuffing is in a plastic bag INSIDE of the turkey with the gizzards and such.. and you dont check then cook it for 4 hours.. Er, so Ive heard anyhow.

  I admit to nothing. lol.

[Gopher]

I remember letting something boil dry for an hour or so and the finding that the only way I could get the pan clean was to use a file.

[Orik]

I kind of dozed off, when i had 2 dogs on the stove after a rough day at work, i awoke to pepper freaking out and smoke down to my knees. the apartment was filled...

if not for pepper i may never have awoken again , and the apartment could have burned down ..

needless to say that little green pot went out the window, it was totally, totally ruined...  the dogs were burned to a crisp, black, almost charcoal like, with a orange red glow... you know those embers you see in a fire, well they looked like that.  ...

 I'm surprised they had not burst into flames ... and very thankful they did not..

i have a few others that are just to horrible to mention... so i shan't..

not as bad as this story, but bad nonetheless