Sex before marriage?

[confused_woman]

here's the deal. he's drop dead gorgeous, sexy as hell, loyal to a tee. problem is, he wants nothing to do with me unless we're married. wtf is wrong with him? am i not sexy enough? we are doing this thing, heavy petting and i'm hot and bothered and he stops halfway, like full stop, no go kinda stuff. he's not going to go any more. i'm not ready for marriage. i'm still young and want to explore life to the fullest. it's a tough situation. i want to be intimate with him but he's not going for it no matter how hard i try. i just feel like i'm not sexy enough.  now i'm thinking i should break it off with him seeing as our relationship isn't going anywhere. am i evil to think that we should go different ways?

[Russ]

You have to respect his beliefs if thats what he believes and sticks to it this day and age..

  Although Im a firm believer you have to test drive it before you buy it.

[tenkani]

Yup. The return policy for marriages is a little harsh      

[Russ]

Half your estate, all your money, and your life sucked out of you?

[Orca]

He is saving himself for when he is sure. There is nothing wrong with that.

Or your okay timing and his is different.

This day and age of AIDS and STDs, why complicate things with early sex with just anyone?

  If you can't wait, then you are not the one for him, nor he you.

Abstinence is a sign of control and restrained too.

Beside it is the pursuit of the goal that build up the excitement....

  ----------

  On the other hand....

Not too worry,

soon enough QE will post on this thread and tell you either he is not interested in you or something along that line, nicer or nastier...

just wait... hehehe      

[Russ]

Orca!! Hi!

  Hows it going?

  300 was sold out and I wasnt going to stick around over 2 hours for the next available one.

[Orca]

Russ russ baby... (vanilla ice's tune)

wassup...

Hubby asked me for a matinee date to that movie today. I can't skip work at 3, so I haven't watch it either.

  A friend of mine is heading to IMAX for that. He tried to buy the tix from the internet at about 5h30pm but no luck. I thought it was the work network, but maybe it is jammed by the movie goers....

  Good luck. Look like a gorry one...    

[Russ]

 Havent heard vanilla ice in a while.. 'specially not with those lyrics' lol.

  Yeah, its supposed to be super busy.. I tried the net as well, but thought I might have a chance of going there in person.. yeah right.

  Gory? But thats the best part!! Supposed to be like sin city.[/DIV]

[Sportsdude]

Hi Orca

300 looks I dunno cool.  I liked Sin City so I probably will like this movie.
 

[Lil Me]

 confused_woman wrote:
here's the deal. he's drop dead gorgeous, sexy as hell, loyal to a tee. problem is, he wants nothing to do with me unless we're married. wtf is wrong with him? am i not sexy enough? we are doing this thing, heavy petting and i'm hot and bothered and he stops halfway, like full stop, no go kinda stuff. he's not going to go any more. i'm not ready for marriage. i'm still young and want to explore life to the fullest. it's a tough situation. i want to be intimate with him but he's not going for it no matter how hard i try. i just feel like i'm not sexy enough.  now i'm thinking i should break it off with him seeing as our relationship isn't going anywhere. am i evil to think that we should go different ways?
 --
 
 I think you need to separate the issue of your sexiness and desirability from his beliefs.  You know his take on the situation, so it's wrong for you to think you can change his mind about this.  If you can't deal, yes- you should probably break it off.  You can't change people, and you're putting too much pressure on yourself to try.
 
 

[Queer Eye]

 [TABLE style="TABLE-LAYOUT: fixed" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=5 width="100%"] [TBODY] [TR] [TD style="OVERFLOW: hidden" vAlign=top width="16%" rowSpan=2][A title="View the profile of Orca" href="vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/index.php?PHPSESSID=fb92b576e02b6db971243369f9e15c31&action=profile;u=64"][FONT color=#000000]Orca[/FONT][/A]   [DIV class=smalltext]Full Member
[img alt=* src="vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/Themes/default/images/star.gif" border=0][img alt=* src="vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/Themes/default/images/star.gif" border=0][img alt=* src="vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/Themes/default/images/star.gif" border=0]

Karma: +35/-0
Posts: 118

 [DIV style="OVERFLOW: auto; WIDTH: 100%"][img alt="" src="vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/index.php?PHPSESSID=fb92b576e02b6db971243369f9e15c31&action=dlattach;id=207;type=avatar"][/DIV]

[A href="vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/index.php?PHPSESSID=fb92b576e02b6db971243369f9e15c31&action=profile;u=64"][FONT color=#000000]View Profile[/FONT][/A] [/DIV][/TD] [TD vAlign=top width="85%" height="100%"] [TABLE width="100%" border=0] [TBODY] [TR] [TD vAlign=center align=left][A href="vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/index.php?PHPSESSID=fb92b576e02b6db971243369f9e15c31&topic=4358.msg65582#msg65582"][img alt="" src="vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/Themes/default/images/post/xx.gif" border=0][/A][/TD] [TD vAlign=center align=left][A href="vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/index.php?PHPSESSID=fb92b576e02b6db971243369f9e15c31&topic=4358.msg65582#msg65582"][FONT color=#000000]Re: Sex before marriage?[/FONT][/A]   [DIV class=smalltext]« Reply #4 on: Mar 09 07 »[/DIV][/TD] [TD style="FONT-SIZE: smaller" vAlign=bottom noWrap align=right height=20][A onclick="if (!currentSwap) doQuote(65582); else window.location.XXXX = this.href; return false;" href="vny!://discoverseattle.net/forums/index.php?PHPSESSID=fb92b576e02b6db971243369f9e15c31&action=post;quote=65582;topic=4358.0;num_replies=9;sesc=647a80383d0c5d938d8967d242938891"][FONT color=#000000]Reply with quote[/FONT][/A] [/TD][/TR][/TBODY][/TABLE] [HR class=hrcolor width="100%" SIZE=1]    [DIV style="OVERFLOW: auto; WIDTH: 100%"] On the other hand....

Not too worry,

soon enough QE will post on this thread and tell you either he is not interested in you or something along that line, nicer or nastier...

just wait... hehehe

  [FONT color=#ff00ff]Haha![/FONT]

[FONT color=#ff00ff][/FONT]

[FONT color=#ff00ff]Actually, this situation seems a bit bizarre.  People that wait until marriage usually get married very young and seek people with similar beliefs.  In a way, he's sort of "playing" you.  I doubt he's hyper-religious, otherwise he wouldn't "activate your launch sequence."  This is a very odd fellow, indeed.  How's your hygiene?  Why don't you fully undress and see where it goes?  Maybe he has a "small" problem that he's afraid you might discover?  Make fun of it.  Ask him to prove it by at least showing it.  If he does, grab it and give it a little mouth-to-mouth resuscitation - you know the drill - look, listen, feel, 2 breaths, 5 compressions (or something like that) etc.[/FONT]

[FONT color=#ff00ff][/FONT]

[FONT color=#ff00ff]Anyways, the movie 300 was sold out in my neck of the woods, too.  We ended up seeing The Last King of Scotland which was quite good if you're in the mood to see a Hotel Rwanda/Blood Diamond type of flick (better than both of them).  Forest Whitaker totally deserved the Oscar.[/FONT][/DIV][/DIV][/TD][/TR][/TBODY][/TABLE]  

[Sportsdude]

We who's we? QE?

I thought about seeing 300 but since I'm going to the hockey game tonight. I won't be seeing it.  Although I probably will.


To the OP.  Its okay if he doesn't want to have sex, per say.  Although I'd fall in the Russ category of the 'test drive' theory.  You should ask him why he doesn't want to have sex or why he seems like he doesn't want to.  He seems like the perfect guy though.  I'd stick with the relationship.  There is nothing wrong though with waiting until your married.  That wouldn't be my choice but hey its free will.  Anyway you shouldn't just automatically break up with him.  

I think its a communication problem.  Talk to him about his. Say "hey sweetie, why don't you want to have sex" or something and I bet you'll get an answer.  Remember relationships based on sex are doomed to failure.