Hilarious SPAM

[TehBorken]

I had to laugh. I mean. WTF?  Am I supposed to believe that they have retards writing the emails at the famous "ONLINE CYBER PROMOTION" center?
[hr style="width: 100%; height: 2px;"]
We Apologies, for the delay of your payment and all the
Inconveniences and Inflict that we might have indulge
you through.

 However, we were having some minor problems with our
payment system, which is Inexplicable, and have held us
stranded and Indolent, not having the Aspiration to
devote our 100% Assiduity in accrediting foreign
payments.

 We apologies once again from the Records of
outstanding winners due for payment with (ONLINE CYBER
PROMOTION)your name and particular was discovered as
next on the list of the outstanding winners who have not yet received
their payments.

 Emails were selected anonymously through a computer ballot system from
over 35,000 companies and 70,000 individual e-mail addresses all over the
world and your e-mail address emerged as the winner of the 11 selected
email address. It is promoted and sponsored by Orient software
corporation (Orient Networks) in collaboration with the Online Cyber
International.

I wish to inform you now that the square peg is now in
square whole and can be voguish for that your payment
is being processed and will be released to you as soon
as you respond to this letter.

Also note that from our record in our file, your outstanding winning
payment is US$950.215.00 (NINE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND,TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN DOLLARS).Payment will be made to you in a certified bank draft or
wire transfer into a nominated bank account of your choice, as soon as you
get in touched with.

Mr.John Nicole
E-mail: [email protected]

Provide him with the following details, as this will
enable him to  process and release of your cash prize
without any delay.

YourFullName:..................................
Telephone and fax
Numbers:...........
..............
Residential
Address:...............................

Your urgent reply Mr.John Nicole
white via e-mail:[email protected]
will effect the speedy release of your cash prize to
you within 48hours.

Yours Sincerely,

Mrs.Jane Philips

Vice President.
 

[Moolah!]

So you actually read your spam?

[TehBorken]

      Raging Poodle! wrote:
So you actually read your spam?
[br style="font-weight: normal;"][span style="font-weight: normal;"]Doesn't everyone?? [/span]
[span style="font-weight: normal;"]
Seriously though, I have to scan some of the stuff that gets stuck in the spam quarrantine to make sure it's not getting flagged by accident. ([/span][span style="font-weight: normal;"]When you get 1000+ emails a day, something is bound to get misidentified.) [/span][span style="font-weight: normal;"]It's doing pretty good though[/span][span style="font-weight: normal;"]:  
[font size="1"]
[/font][/span] [table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0"][tbody][tr class="rowEven"][td style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"][font size="1"]Overall accuracy (since last reset)[/font][/td]          [td style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"][font size="1"]99.297%[/font][/td]          [td style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="rowDivider"][font size="1"][span class="small"](SPAM messages caught + Good messages delivered) / Total number of messages[/span][/font][/td]       [/tr][tr class="rowOdd"][td style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"][font size="1"]Spam identification (since last reset)[/font][/td][td style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"][font size="1"]99.659%[/font][/td][td style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="rowDivider"][font size="1"][span class="small"](Spam catch rate only)[/span][/font][/td][/tr]       [tr class="rowEven"]          [td style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"][font size="1"]Spam ratio (of total processed)[/font][/td]          [td style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"][font size="1"]80.313%[/font][/td]          [td style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="rowDivider"][font size="1"][span class="small"]Total SPAM messages (both caught & missed) / Total number of messages[/span][/font][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table]

     

[tenkani]

However, we were having some minor problems with our
payment system, which is Inexplicable, and have [SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"]held us[/SPAN][BR style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"]stranded and Indolent[/SPAN], not having the [SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"]Aspiration to[/SPAN][BR style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"][SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"]devote our 100% Assiduity[/SPAN] in accrediting foreign
payments.   It's really quite beautiful when you read it the right way.

Try squinting.

[P.C.]

We apologies ? [img style="CURSOR: pointer" onclick=url(this.src); src="vny!://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/frech/h050.gif" border=0]

[TehBorken]

  tenkani wrote:
[em]However, we were having some minor problems with our
payment system, which is Inexplicable, and have held us
stranded and Indolent, not having the Aspiration to
devote our 100% Assiduity in accrediting foreign
payments.[/em]  Yeah, that's my favorite paragrah in the whole world right there. I've often had problems with my assiduity. And "indolence"? That's mah middle name.