Prenup yes or no

[ripper]

Yes i would. I was only joking when i said "hell no".

[P.C.]

Interesting.

  Not me.  

  I guess it all boils down to where you place your faith.  If contracts were the deciding factor as to whether a marriage was to take place, I wonder why a person wouldn't spend as much energy ensuring the marriage contract remains intact as they would the 'back-up' contract.

  Another question.  How valid is a prenup, if it's the prenupper who breaks the marriage contract.  

[ripper]

In a marriage contract, there are no guarentees. People change and decide they want to move on. With a prenup, you at least have a chance of protecting yourself from golddiggers and midlife crisis.

[purelife]

With a prenup, you at least have a chance of protecting yourself from golddiggers and midlife crisis.

  Your mind is so set to meeting these golddiggers and being in relationships that gives you midlife crisis when you keep thinking about "protecting your assets."  I would NEVER want to live a life on the edge hoping that the man in front of me is not a gold digger.  What kind of life would you have to expect the worst from a relationship?  To expect that your bank accounts are going to be drained?  If it happens too often, don't you think that Life is trying to tell you something?  I would be wasting too much energy protecting myself and my assets rather than enjoying and living my life filled with fun and love.  This is totally never my thing and I would never think of such a thing, even if I was rich.

[ripper]

Purelife first of all, when i mentioned midlife crisis, i wasn't talking about mine but the other person's. That's what i meant by people change.Also your a woman. When it comes to divorce it's a poorly kept secret that the courts 99.99 % favour the woman. That's just a fact of life. As a man i have to try to limit my damage.  

[purelife]

 Old days used to favour the women, ripper.  Nowadays, courts are giving fair treatment to the guys as wells.  Men and Women can both be great gold diggers.  Courts are getting to be tough on women as well.  It used to be the mother who would have custody of kids, now, fathers are included for fair trial as well.  And we are now seeing more and more fathers awarded with sole custody.  I agree with you that women get away with SO MUCH!  I do hope that there is some sort of fairness, but then again, that's only wishful thinking.

  I never understand women who marry for money.  I can take care of myself with or without a man in my life.  I would NEVER ask for any spousal support or anything.  I wouldn't even ask to borrow money if I'm in need.  Heck, I wouldn't even ask my parents.  I'd rather borrow from Institutions and pay the interest.[/DIV]

[ripper]

Purelife you sound like a very decent person. Your fiance is one lucky man.  I wish you and yours the very best. Take care.

[Russ]

purelife wrote:   I never understand women who marry for money.  I can take care of myself with or without a man in my life.  I would NEVER ask for any spousal support or anything.  I wouldn't even ask to borrow money if I'm in need.  Heck, I wouldn't even ask my parents.  I'd rather borrow from Institutions and pay the interest.[/DIV][/DIV]
 I dont agree that the courts dont still favour the woman.. but thats JMHO.

  I know two girls (uh women now I guess) that have married almost entirely for money.. theres one thats starting to talk divorce now. The guys worth a mil and a half (at our best guess not talking to either of them as it really isnt our business, but we talk, lol) and they have a prenup. He had the assets. It IS expected to be overturned. Depending on the circumstances, prenups can be overturned. But they are not always.

  I have borrowed money from family, I dont like to, but I have. I do pay some interest back. Not the current interest but something for the money lent. When I borrowed an amount from a parent that they had to borrow from the bank, I paid all the interest and stuff. They just took the loan out as I couldnt at that age with no assets.  

[purelife]

I know that the courts still favor the women.  I just hope that men are treated just the same, but then again, that's wishing.  But, it's changing these days.

  REMOVED PARAGRAPH.  (TMI!)  

[P.C.]

I suspect women hear from women friends about their 'unfair' treatment the same as men hear from men about theirs.  I too believe it is lopsided against men but I also believe and hope this will someday become based strictly on facts instead of this old fashioned bias.

I wonder what would happen if  cases were presented to a judge without knowlege of gender.  Like...

Spouse A petitioned for divorce on the grounds of adultery..........or whatever.  Spouse B agrees or admits adltery......or whatever.

Length of marriage.  Assets of marriage etc etc etc.

  Regarding divorce settlements, as defined by a recent survey women obtained a better or considerably better settlement than men in 60% of cases. In 30% of cases the assets were split 50-50, and in only 10% of cases did men achieve better settlements.    

[Russ]

purelife wrote:
 I know that the courts still favor the women.  I just hope that men are treated just the same, but then again, that's wishing.  But, it's changing these days.



I needed my mom to co-sign to consolidate my debt.  I had the option to consolidate all my debt and pay one low fee and have my debt paid off in 3 years.  I would've been in my second year if I had asked my mom.  BUT, my mom and I aren't close and I don't like to ask her because I know that she would hum and haw over this and that, just makes me withdraw.  If I was a mom and saw that my kids need my signature for a co-sign, I would damn well help them out.  I wouldn't want to see them struggle with two jobs.  I have two jobs and this consolidation would've helped me SO MUCH but because I know that my mom would NEVER do this, I have to keep on trudging along and try try again to get an approval from my bank.



Ok, end of rant and sorry to bore you.[/DIV]
 No need to appologize purelife. Thats what things like this place are for.. post and get reactions. To be honest.. we sound like we have similar probs with the 'rents. My dad is like your mother, only he would lecture you on how you should live your life, this is what he thinks and you would do so you do it this way. LOL, unfortunately for him it doesnt work like that so he starts yelling and gets into a funk and sulks off. He talks to his sister about his problems all the time and takes her advice.. big sister.

My mother helped me out. She kindve lets us learn on our own, harps on us (still dammit) about problems, but still will help us out all she can. You can tell shes origionally from the island as well, lol.  

[ripper]

P.c. that's a very interesting idea. I'm sure all men would jump at that opportunity. The radical feminists however would scream bloody murder and the courts would back down immediately.

[Russ]

I agree ripper, thats a novel Idea PC!! Too bad it probably wont be accepted.

[P.C.]

Well, they could scream all they wanted.  Would it not then be based precisely on the FACTS.  How could one dispute this.   Emotional testimony left aside......

  It would be an interesting experiment, to see two cases....  Identical couple, identical circumstances, same lawyers, same arguments......then have them switch places and repeat the process with everything exactly the same.  Only the man would own the womans case, and the woman, the mans'.

  I wonder how that would come out?  

[purelife]

I agree with that idea PC.  That way, there will be no prejudgement/bias.